# Ladies I need some advice on daughter becoming a young woman (eeeek!)



## DF (May 14, 2012)

Brief history:

I have a 10 year old daughter that will be 11 this year.  She is going thru some big changes/puberty.  She lives with me full time so I am pretty much her Daddy & Mom.  She does have a Mom, but ....... Anyway.  She is going thru changes.  We have read a book together & she asked some questions, which I think I answered pretty well.  I bought her an electric razor for Christmas b/c she was getting self conscious about the hair on her lower legs.  I didn't want her to go grabbing my razor in the shower & hack her self to death.  I showed her how to use the razor & a few weeks ago she noticed pit hair (lol) so I helped her get rid of that too.  I know that she is going to get her first period at some point.  I really want her to be prepared for this event incase it happens in school.  My questions are as follows:

1.  What does she need to carry with her to be ready?
2.  Is the first period really painful? will she start getting cramps before it happens? Any signs that I can have her be aware of?

Your help is greatly appreciated


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## SFGiants (May 14, 2012)

Ist off your a great father I too am a single father raised 2 girls from 16 month and 3 year to now 16 years and 18 years!

Bro you don't know when the period will come it comes at different ages and lets hope she is a late bloomer on that.

Dose she have a grandmother to confide in if so get her to her asap so they can work together on the next few years of girlhood to womanhood as they really need a female bro with this type of stuff I had my mother work with mine with them issues.


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## SFGiants (May 14, 2012)

Female cousin Aunt anyone close that is female!


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## gymrat827 (May 14, 2012)

a buddy of mine is going threw the same thing....his little girl is 12 tho...

His GF is really helping out as is other friends of ours...(All women, women will need other women)  men, even when they are very nice can be too "tough" for a young girl.  Shoot my GF went over there to tell a birds & bees story.  


Her real mom is a drug addict.  she hasnt seen her in 9 yrs......shitty, very shitty.


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## gymrat827 (May 14, 2012)

SFGiants said:


> Female cousin Aunt anyone close that is female!




you gotta find a good, caring lady who can help you.


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## LeanHerm (May 14, 2012)

We have a lot of single fathers here.   God bless you fellas.  I really can't help you but good luck D.


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## Lulu66 (May 14, 2012)

Check with the school they should have some sort of program to help you and your daughter out with these important moments of her life.


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## Four1Thr33 (May 14, 2012)

good caring dad man.. props.. now that like 7 guys commented lets see the girls


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## DF (May 14, 2012)

Thanks guys for the kind words & advice.  I wish that I could edit the title of this thread to Ladies/Gents cause I kinda feel like a bit of a douche for only asking for the gals advice.  I think I'll ask my daughter who she'd like to talk to about this subject.


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## jennerrator (May 15, 2012)

well, all I can say is yes, we all start at different ages and to be honest, I don't remember feeling cramps in the first few years but they came on strong when I was around 17. I think you have and are doing a great job with her! Just try to make sure you have pads on hand just in case  and hopefully it won't happen at school but if it does, she can always go to the school nurse. Good luck babe, you are a GREAT father!


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## DF (May 15, 2012)

Jenner said:


> well, all I can say is yes, we all start at different ages and to be honest, I don't remember feeling cramps in the first few years but they came on strong when I was around 17. I think you have and are doing a great job with her! Just try to make sure you have pads on hand just in case  and hopefully it won't happen at school but if it does, she can always go to the school nurse. Good luck babe, you are a GREAT father!



Thank You Jenner
I had totally forgotten about the school nurse.  I'll talk with her about the pads & see if there is someone (female) that she would like to talk to about her changes.


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## jennerrator (May 15, 2012)

Dfeaton said:


> Thank You Jenner
> I had totally forgotten about the school nurse.  I'll talk with her about the pads & see if there is someone (female) that she would like to talk to about her changes.



k, without getting all weird, cuz this is kind of strange to to write about...I say pads because I know I was freaked out about tampons..lol These days they make the pads so thin, they are very comfortable.


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## MTgirl (May 15, 2012)

Ditto with Jen on the pad issue. Being that young and thinking "I have to stick this cotton thing with a string attached where?!?!?!". And really, you can't ask anyone to watch to make sure you're doing it correctly.

Not just the school nurse, but even a female teacher at school she feels she can trust would be good also. Surely they know you're doing this solo and will be glad to lend a hand.  

Personally, I didn't "start" till I was 12. I had severe bleeding, cramps and clots. I would vomit for a week and have to miss school.  I ended up having to see an ob/gyn at 12 and have my first pap and pelvic exam then.....yikes!!!!  I was diagnosed with endometriosis and actually put on birth control pill at 12 to help.  It did help (A LOT), but I hid that fact I was on the pill because I didn't want anyone to think I was a sexually active 12 year old.  All in all, that's a worst case scenario and one you're daughter is not likely to experience.  

Most of the time you'll notice a bit of acne, mood swings (overly emotional) and exhaustion.  This can happen for months before any actual bleeding occurs. 

You seem like an awesome dad!  Be honest, be open to any discussions no matter how embarassing and she'll still feel that you're the #1 to turn too.  My dad taught me everything and was there for me all the time.  You don't NEED a woman to help with it, but sometimes it helps.  More depends on her comfort.

Good luck and PROPS to all you single dads!


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## DF (May 15, 2012)

Jenner said:


> k, without getting all weird, cuz this is kind of strange to to write about...I say pads because I know I was freaked out about tampons..lol These days they make the pads so thin, they are very comfortable.


 
*Thanks again Jenner 
I know kind of a weird subject & all, but you guys have been a great help! *



MTgirl said:


> Ditto with Jen on the pad issue. Being that young and thinking "I have to stick this cotton thing with a string attached where?!?!?!". And really, you can't ask anyone to watch to make sure you're doing it correctly.
> 
> Not just the school nurse, but even a female teacher at school she feels she can trust would be good also. Surely they know you're doing this solo and will be glad to lend a hand.
> 
> ...


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## SFGiants (May 15, 2012)

Jenner said:


> k, without getting all weird, cuz this is kind of strange to to write about...I say pads because I know I was freaked out about tampons..lol These days they make the pads so thin, they are very comfortable.



POB was the same way! >


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## bah1a (May 16, 2012)

Dfeaton said:


> Brief history:
> 
> I have a 10 year old daughter that will be 11 this year.  She is going thru some big changes/puberty.  She lives with me full time so I am pretty much her Daddy & Mom.  She does have a Mom, but ....... Anyway.  She is going thru changes.  We have read a book together & she asked some questions, which I think I answered pretty well.  I bought her an electric razor for Christmas b/c she was getting self conscious about the hair on her lower legs.  I didn't want her to go grabbing my razor in the shower & hack her self to death.  I showed her how to use the razor & a few weeks ago she noticed pit hair (lol) so I helped her get rid of that too.  I know that she is going to get her first period at some point.  I really want her to be prepared for this event incase it happens in school.  My questions are as follows:
> 
> ...



I may be able to help out a bit since my daughter just recently got her first period (in the last couple of months.)  Ten seems early, but everyone is different.   My daughter is an athlete and the 1st period is always later for athletes. My daughter just turned 14 and got her first period in her very last days of being 13.  

You should ask your daughter if she's getting any hair under her arms.  (Which could possibly means pubic hair too.)  Those are signs.  Even with hair, it could still be some time (a year or two maybe.)  

When is your daughter due for her annual physical?  Talk to her pediatrician.  They are great at predicting, based on the physical changes they see in your daughter.  Or call the pediatrician's nurse and talk to her. 

1.  What does she need to carry with her to be ready?

In 6th grade the school nurse talked to all the girls and gave them all a little packet of necessities to keep with them.  It was just a couple of small pads.  My daughter started to take them to sleepovers, and kept one or two in her school locker.  That's what your daughter should do too.  Good lord, she can always use a wad of toilet paper in a pinch.  Tell her that. 

My daughter's pediatrician told us to have her use pads for the first 3 or 4 cycles because she needs to see and know exactly what it is that she's dealing with, then we could have her change to tampons.  Because my daughter IS an athlete, she will likely make the switch.  I am encouraging her to do so soon (huge benefit for athletes) but my daughter is a couple of years older.  For your daughter, it might be smart to wait a while.  

2.  Is the first period really painful? will she start getting cramps before it happens? Any signs that I can have her be aware of?

I don't think my daughter had cramps, but boy oh boy was she BITCHY, seriously bitchy.  Like, out of control yelling about nothing.  She's not typically like that (however, since she just turned 14 and age could also be a factor.)  Of course, none of us knew why she was like that beforehand.  Bite your tongue because you are going to want to discipline that behavior.  Be prepared to GRIN and BEAR IT.  

Talk to your daughter’s pediatrician.  There you will find all of the guidance you need, and they have a way of talking so calmly and matter-of-factly about anything.  You won't be uncomfortable talking to the pediatrician's office.


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## DF (May 16, 2012)

Thank you very much for your input Bah1a.


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## Zeek (May 16, 2012)

D, I will be in the same boat with you in a few years time!  I am not looking forward to having this talk with the little girl but with all of the great advice in this thread I now see it as something I can do!

 Much respect for you being both parents to your child!


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## Whackor (May 17, 2012)

Good advice has been posted.  Menstruating/periods just simply suck.  A female can start her period from the age of 8 years old to 14.  This will most likely be determined by family history on both sides of the family, but seems to be prominent of the mothers side.  She will trust you no doubt, but the comparisons will come with the info her girlfriends give her too.  Calendaring is important to note.  Date start and stop.  The "average" cycle is every 28 days lasting from 3-5 days. Some cycle at every 35 days.  The cramps can be very painful or not at all.  If so, heating pad is a savior taken with Pamprin or Midol.  Moodiness is noted too.

There is a great variety of pads on the market these days.  I'm in the medical field and the brand chosen allot is "Always".  Tampons don't really need introduction until the girl is about 13, if she is one of the unfortunates to start early.  Athletic girls typically use tampons.  I've known some that do not.  Personal preference there.

*One of the most IMPORTANT issues is the proper disposal of the pad/tampon*.  I can't tell you how many piggish women leave a disgusting mess in public bathrooms!  Christ I have to wonder if they do if for shock value.  I can't imagine they do this in their homes, but people are weird.  

OK graphic..... when the pad is to be removed, she needs to save the paper from the next pad she will open or she can use toilet paper.  Pull the pad from panties and roll it up and place it in the paper/tissue and roll that up too and dispose of it in the trash. No one likes to see a bloody pad sticking out in any trash can.   Don't flush it.  Attach the next pad.  _HINT: get some flushable wet wipes and keep in the bathroom. _ She will want to keep her little biscuit clean and fresh. After the next pad is in place and the wet wipe is done, pants up and wash her hands with soap for at least 10 seconds.  Also note.... you will need to replenish her panties on occasion as we sometimes have accidents.  It's a given.

My father raised me and my sisters, but I learned everything on the streets/school.  When it came to tampons, my best set of instructions for proper insertion/alignment came from the paper instructions in the tampon box.  

You're a great father ... I'm sure she will turn to you for everything. Well, almost everything


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## DF (May 23, 2012)

Update.

I started talking to her about her period & how to be ready.  She took it in stride as aways ( not embarressed ).  Whackor thanks for the info on the brand cause sonofa I was in the isle at the grocery store & damn....I'm like wtf to I get. I can just see me asking a female shopper for assistance..."excuse me what brand of pad do you use?" lol.  Then again I hate even buying condoms(tooo many choices).

Thanks again for all your input it has been of a great help.


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## Whackor (May 24, 2012)

Dfeaton said:


> Update.
> 
> I started talking to her about her period & how to be ready.  She took it in stride as aways ( not embarressed ).  Whackor thanks for the info on the brand cause sonofa I was in the isle at the grocery store & damn....I'm like wtf to I get. I can just see me asking a female shopper for assistance..."excuse me what brand of pad do you use?" lol.  Then again I hate even buying condoms(tooo many choices).
> 
> Thanks again for all your input it has been of a great help.



You're welcome... it's as bad as the cereal isle!


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