# UGBB Recovering Addict/Alcoholics



## Caballero (Sep 6, 2017)

Thought a support thread would be very helpful for any brothers struggling or in recovery. I myself  relapsed recently and it lasted a good 5 months. My first round in treatment was in 2012 and was the best decision of my life. Unfortunately I was taken out of my everyday routine and my structure burned to the ground. I'm coming up 4 months clean and very thankful to be alive. Since May I've personally lost 3 friends to addiction and that pain now fuels me to stay sober. If anyone is suffering or has some words of support please share in this thread. We need each other to help battle this lifetime disease.


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## NoQuarter (Sep 6, 2017)

My sister was found dead 3-24-2015 along side a road by a passing jogger......I stopped that day.  I do occasionally want a drink but I have not had once since that day.  I miss her every day, we were one year apart and extremely close.  It was my own promise to her to not partake again.


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## Caballero (Sep 6, 2017)

NoQuarter said:


> My sister was found dead 3-24-2015 along side a road by a passing jogger......I stopped that day.  I do occasionally want a drink but I have not had once since that day.  I miss her every day, we were one year apart and extremely close.  It was my own promise to her to not partake again.



Condolences man...


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## NoQuarter (Sep 6, 2017)

Thanks! You know though, both of us were on a bad path and I just learned from her mistakes and mine.  It literally was a sobering moment for me.  Sounds like your reasons to stay sober are the same.  Learn from your friends mistakes and the fact that you do not want to end up like them.  stay strong brother!


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## ECKSRATED (Sep 6, 2017)

I've had my battles with opiates. Not fun. One day at a time.


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## Caballero (Sep 6, 2017)

Have to be honest, I've never smashed dope but when I get clean I look forward to shooting Aas. I get a guilty feeling but it's the addict in me.


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## snake (Sep 6, 2017)

One day, maybe 3 years ago, I put the beer down and never looked back. I'm better without it and it really did nothing for me. I thought I'd have a problem quitting but I didn't struggle with it at all. I personally found the best way to to handle it is to just not talk about it and view it as a phase I went through. 

Point is, there's better and stronger men than me out there. If I can do it, most people can.


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## BRICKS (Sep 6, 2017)

I havent had a drink in 15 years.  There is nothing to be found in the bottom of a bottle or a can, and there is absolutely nothing I enjoy doing that I can do better fkd up.  Ibwill never drink again and I can say that with confidence because I never want to go through the experience of quitting again, it was that bad the first week.  Just remember that it matters not what you did yesterday or tomorrow, but stay sober today and before you know it you have a lot of sober days put together.  Same goes for the cigarettes if you're trying to quit that.


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## PillarofBalance (Sep 6, 2017)

My only real experience with addiction personally is nicotine and I kicked it thank God. But I learned how terrible it felt to try and stop when I was young. Started smoking at 11. So fortunately I knew what addiction was, could see the alcoholics in my family and therefore was always judicious in using anything else. 

I was fortunate 

Other members of my family not so much. Was waiting for my brother to die. But he flipped it around. 4 years sober and I couldn't be more proud. 

Good for all you guys getting sober.


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## silvereyes87 (Sep 6, 2017)

I had a best friend since 6th grade. In highschool when his parents would kick him out hed come and live with my mother and I.  We were very close. When  I was 21 he overdosed, passed out. Threw up while unconscious. Choked on his vomit, couldn't breath. By the time someone found him he had lost too much oxygen and was brain dead. His parents allowed us to say goodbye. And then they pulled the plug.  ****ing drugs man.


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## John Ziegler (Sep 6, 2017)

Last drink was 2001 last recreational drug was 2010 last joint and last cigarette late December 2013 

Fukk all that wimpy shit !


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## Caballero (Sep 6, 2017)

Thxs to all the fellas here for sharing their stories & insight much appreciated. Unfortunately I cannot just as easily put down the drink or drugs. So each day I tell myself "just for today". Thxs again guys...


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## Gibsonator (Sep 6, 2017)

hey bro I'm in ur boat too, I started typing out my story but backspaced the fukk out of it. hang tight


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## BRICKS (Sep 6, 2017)

Caballero said:


> Thxs to all the fellas here for sharing their stories & insight much appreciated. Unfortunately I cannot just as easily put down the drink or drugs. So each day I tell myself "just for today". Thxs again guys...



That's all you need to do.  And if one day is tough, one hour, one minute.  If you want to quit more than you want to continue you will do it.


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## stonetag (Sep 6, 2017)

Back when doc's gave out pain killers like jelly beans I fell into that pit, and it was no fun climbing out of it. I have a lot of respect for folks that put addictions behind them and zero tolerance for people that look down on it and attack a persons character. Until a person has been under the dark cloud of addiction, or knows what is involved in the addiction spiral they need to shut their fuking pie holes with the criticism, and apply some constructive words of support.


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## DieYoungStrong (Sep 6, 2017)

I have a lot of dead friends and family members from opiates. I was a partier in my 20s, but, thankfully, having kids staightened me out. I'm not sober, but I don't go on benders like I used to.


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## Muffy (Sep 6, 2017)

My mother and my aunt Casey both died of a drug overdose....my uncle was an alcoholic that committed suicide by driving his car into a brick wall ...addiction runs in my family...thank god the only thing I've been addicted to is hair extensions and cigarettes...quit smoking the other day and boy was it hard!  I know that addictions are usually a result of an underlying issue...no one enjoys being an addict.  It's always a way of numbing something.  Many of us have other addictions that aren't so extreme and may go unnoticed.  I have nothing but love for those who can fight the evils that live within.


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## Caballero (Sep 6, 2017)

Muffy said:


> Many of us have other addictions that aren't so extreme and may go unnoticed.


Very true , I notice my addictions change once I've got some clean time. After the first time in treatment went from the drugs and booze everyday, too hitting the gym twice a day and running 10k. From one extreme to another....:32 (6):


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## PFM (Sep 7, 2017)

Lets make a big flipping deal out of everything and call it a disease. I'll have 13 years next month, what do I know.


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## Caballero (Sep 7, 2017)

For some life or death is a big deal....congrats on 13 yrs.


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## Redrum1327 (Sep 7, 2017)

There's plenty of us here that have struggled with addiction. I tell everyone i tried speed balls once.......For 5 yrs lol. Opiates were my vise. I've also personally lost several people I knew to addiction. it's not easy just take it one day at a time and I try to help or at least talk to people who are struggling or in counseling. I figure it's the least I can do considering everything I've done over the yrs and I'm still breathing. Keep fighting brother,everyday, just keep fighting, life is worth it. I'm coming up on 8 yrs sober in March and wouldn't trade what I have now for the world. SIDENOTE : I don't believe addiction is a disease. Cancer is a disease. my problems started with my choice to take those pills.


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## Caballero (Sep 7, 2017)

Addiction and Alcoholism are diseases please take a minute to do some research . If the 2 were not (clinically diagnosed ) my ass would have been fired from my very well paying job. Instead my employer has put up the money(Again) for a 2 yr monitoring program. Which includes once a month visits to the Addictions Doctor and random urinalysis. The scary thing is even with all this support I find days were I consider throwing it all away just for the drug or drink. This is how I know it's more then just "will power" and it's  a real illness. Either way everyone has their own opinion and I need to respect that.


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## motown1002 (Sep 7, 2017)

First, I respect your opinion and I realize you and others have their own demons to fight.  I know that addiction whether it be to opiates, alcohol, nicotine or what ever, is terrible.  When you become hooked, you become a slave.  It corrupts your mind and your body.  You make many bad decisions that compound each other until you hit bottom, where ever that may be for each of us.  You hurt your family, other loved ones, you work mates and any people that you associate with.  I know that there is research that calls addiction a disease.  I struggle with that myself as I have been there.  I made a choice.  I chose to obtain the pills,  I made the choice to shove them down my throat.  I will say that I had a lot of messed up things going on in my life and I may have been mentally disposed to find a relief or easy way out, and once I made that choice, my mind wouldn't let me stop.  (maybe that's part of the "disease")   But to me I felt like I made a conscious decision, albeit a very bad one, that cost me dearly.  I take full responsibility and have made things right with most of those I hurt.  Do I ever want to take a pill again?  Hell yes.  Why? Because I became an addict, and I know what the escape initially feels like.  Will I take a pill.  Fuk no.  Why, Because I became and addict and I wont give in.  My relief is focused in the gym.     Just my 2 cents.  Much respect to all of you.  No matter your opinion.  Sorry for hurting you Gibs.  LOL   (just kidding)


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## BRICKS (Sep 7, 2017)

Respecting everyone's opinion here, those who say it's not a disease are  focusing on the choice to start.  The problem is is the choice to stop.  If you are not touched by the disease of alcoholism/addiction you can stop. I have seen this plenty of times.  Not so easy if you have the disease.  Picking it up isn't the hard part.  That's just putting the key in the ignition.  The differentiation is the ability to stop.


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## BRICKS (Sep 7, 2017)

As I said earlier in the thread, if you want to quit more than you want to continue you will do it.  If you did not have the disease you would not have went through a week and a half of hell.  If it was not a disease you would not relapse.  Diabetics have a choice too, brother, to either stay healthy or not.


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## Redrum1327 (Sep 7, 2017)

i kind of agree with that, I just think it boils down to will power and the choices you makes more to me than calling it a disease. I chose to keep doing it. I chose to stay sober. I was weak at one point now I'm not. again just my 2 pennies.


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## Caballero (Sep 9, 2017)

What makes alcoholics drink? Research shows it's more complex than supposed -- ScienceDaily
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/09/170907120210.htm


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## Caballero (Sep 10, 2017)

So just got home from date night and ended on a awkward fu*king note. This woman and I are just getting to know each other (3rd date). I haven't told her yet I'm in recovery. Well as I dropped her off she invited me up for "a night cap". I thought..I know were this will lead . Anyway I mentioned " I'm allergic to alcohol" She acted like most would and looked confused as Fu*k. She ask if I got sick or do I breakout in hives? I said no "I breakout in handcuffs" lol She laughed pretty hard and then said "but seriously"? lol Told her I had an early morn, but didn't feel the timing was right ("air my dirty laundry") anyone have a similar situation? To be honest, driving home all I could think about was sex,drugs, and rock & roll :32 (6): lol But made it another 24 so on that note... Good night!


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## Bro Bundy (Sep 10, 2017)

I wanna smoke crack and snort dope


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## Caballero (Sep 10, 2017)

Hurricanes drive addiction issues into public square
http://www.vancouversun.com/health/...issues+into+public+square/14614063/story.html


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## BigSwolePump (Sep 10, 2017)

The recovery from any night of hard drinking. That is why I don't.


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## Caballero (Sep 10, 2017)

BigSwolePump said:


> The recovery from any night of hard drinking. That is why I don't.


Unfortunately I would start Friday and go to sleep Monday.


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## BRICKS (Sep 10, 2017)

Caballero said:


> So just got home from date night and ended on a awkward fu*king note. This woman and I are just getting to know each other (3rd date). I haven't told her yet I'm in recovery. Well as I dropped her off she invited me up for "a night cap". I thought..I know were this will lead . Anyway I mentioned " I'm allergic to alcohol" She acted like most would and looked confused as Fu*k. She ask if I got sick or do I breakout in hives? I said no "I breakout in handcuffs" lol She laughed pretty hard and then said "but seriously"? lol Told her I had an early morn, but didn't feel the timing was right ("air my dirty laundry") anyone have a similar situation? To be honest, driving home all I could think about was sex,drugs, and rock & roll :32 (6): lol But made it another 24 so on that note... Good night!



I just tell people I don't drink.  Nobody pushes the issue and if anybody does ask I just tell them I've used up my quota.  The usually response is "got it". I would think most women would be happy to know that's one less thing they have to worry about.  I know my wife feels that way.


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## jennerrator (Sep 10, 2017)

Caballero said:


> So just got home from date night and ended on a awkward fu*king note. This woman and I are just getting to know each other (3rd date). I haven't told her yet I'm in recovery. Well as I dropped her off she invited me up for "a night cap". I thought..I know were this will lead . Anyway I mentioned " I'm allergic to alcohol" She acted like most would and looked confused as Fu*k. She ask if I got sick or do I breakout in hives? I said no "I breakout in handcuffs" lol She laughed pretty hard and then said "but seriously"? lol Told her I had an early morn, but didn't feel the timing was right ("air my dirty laundry") anyone have a similar situation? To be honest, driving home all I could think about was sex,drugs, and rock & roll :32 (6): lol But made it another 24 so on that note... Good night!



Well, I'll give you my take on this...first let me say for myself...I can take it or leave it but if I take it, it's PARTY...and I don't enjoy the next day so I pass altogether..and I am grateful that I can "choose" too. My father is an alcoholic so I know that life and I have always chose partners that either didn't drink or could be ok with 1 or 2 at a time. 

Now, I recently met a great guy who told me UP front that he's in AA, working on his sobriety etc...I support and respect that shiit like you wouldn't believe but I will tell you that if he slips and it affects my life (we obviously don't live together etc..) I'm fuuking gone...no if's and's or but's...just the way it is. So time will tell..

My thoughts are, you should feel ok with being upfront and just get it out of the way because it's your life that it affects...no one else (you know what I mean by that)

my .02


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## Caballero (Sep 10, 2017)

jennerrator50 said:


> Well, I'll give you my take on this...first let me say for myself...I can take it or leave it but if I take it, it's PARTY...and I don't enjoy the next day so I pass altogether..and I am grateful that I can "choose" too. My father is an alcoholic so I know that life and I have always chose partners that either didn't drink or could be ok with 1 or 2 at a time.
> 
> Now, I recently met a great guy who told me UP front that he's in AA, working on his sobriety etc...I support and respect that shiit like you wouldn't believe but I will tell you that if he slips and it affects my life (we obviously don't live together etc..) I'm fuuking gone...no if's and's or but's...just the way it is. So time will tell..
> 
> ...



Thank you for sharing....I have found it's a 50/50 chance when starting a new relationship. First time clean in 2012 I met a great girl and we clicked instantly. BUT when I opened up she ended things a week later. Was mad as Fuk but respected her decision. Say La Vie !


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## jennerrator (Sep 10, 2017)

Caballero said:


> Thank you for sharing....I have found it's a 50/50 chance when starting a new relationship. First time clean in 2012 I met a great girl and we clicked instantly. BUT when I opened up she ended things a week later. Was mad as Fuk but respected her decision. Say La Vie !




Do you ...that's all it's about  

But, her reaction...is that someone you want to be with? In other words, do you want to "have" to lie about who you are....not worth it...trust me


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## Caballero (Sep 10, 2017)

jennerrator50 said:


> Do you ...that's all it's about
> 
> But, her reaction...is that someone you want to be with? In other words, do you want to "have" to lie about who you are....not worth it...trust me



Well to be fair I never asked her but maybe she had grown up in an alcoholic household(who knows). Either way I wouldn't lie to a potential partner about this. It would only set me up for a future relaps having to live with that.


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## Caballero (Sep 22, 2017)

4 months today ....  

View attachment 4483


My own touch haha
View attachment 4484


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## jennerrator (Sep 22, 2017)

Caballero said:


> 4 months today ....



Congrats hon, keep it going!


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## NbleSavage (Sep 22, 2017)

Huge respect, Brother. Stay clean.


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## BigJohnny (Sep 23, 2017)

Congrats brother! Keep it up!


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## Bro Bundy (Sep 23, 2017)

Let's shoot dope in our necks


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## NoQuarter (Sep 23, 2017)

One day at a time and now four months! Congratulations to you man!


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## Bullseye Forever (Sep 23, 2017)

It’s been a little over 3 months clean for me off cough medicine


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## Caballero (Sep 25, 2017)

Been questioning myself on starting to run Aas so early into recovery. Mainly due to the psychological effects I have experienced in the past when using. Just looking for some advice from members who have maybe dealt with this or any other suggestions. 
Cheers Cab....


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## Beezy (Sep 25, 2017)

I went to Teen Challenge, an adult 14 month rehab center in 2010 for opiates.
Worst 14 months of my life, but well worth still being alive and clean. 

You know the answer to using anything this early. It's almost guaranteed to trigger that f-ed up reward mechanism and the urge to grab something else when you're off your cycle may be too much to resist. Not worth the risk so soon after a relapse. 

I don't know what AAS will do to an addict, as I decided not to run until 2018, but I know that any substance that takes temporary place of your drug of choice will inevitably lead you back to it.


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## Grinch (Sep 26, 2017)

Bunch of quitters. 
#narcan
#epinepherine
Dirty needle user since 86


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## Caballero (Sep 26, 2017)

Grinch said:


> Bunch of hivvers.
> Dirty needle user since 86



Fixed.....:32 (6):


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## Caballero (Sep 27, 2017)

Beezy said:


> I went to Teen Challenge, an adult 14 month rehab center in 2010 for opiates.
> Worst 14 months of my life, but well worth still being alive and clean.
> 
> You know the answer to using anything this early. It's almost guaranteed to trigger that f-ed up reward mechanism and the urge to grab something else when you're off your cycle may be too much to resist. Not worth the risk so soon after a relapse.
> ...


Wanna thank you for the words of wisdom dude. Even though my concious knew the right answer I still needed too talk/hear about it. The fukked up part about the addict brain and how it thinks.:32 (6):Gonna wait til atleast a yr of sobriety before blasting. Thxs again...


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## Bro Bundy (Sep 27, 2017)

Smoke a bowl of sour for the bros that ain't here no more


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## DieYoungStrong (Sep 27, 2017)

I know lots of addicts that gave up dope/coke/drinking/whatever for juice...and run insane amounts of juice now. This is also a lifestyle that requires an addictive personality.


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## Redrum1327 (Sep 27, 2017)

I would focus on you for now without aby substances bc like it was said you will just replace one for another. If youre gonna do anything just get addicted to a routine of meal planning , lifting , cardio, resting. You'll know when the time is right dude. Youll be fighting these demons the rest of your life, trust me on this. The key is to find ways to take your m8nd off those thoughts and keep your mind focused on something else. Bordem and idle time are addictions best friend. Stay busy exaust yourself, especially the first year. The hardest part I found was gaining back people's trust and living with the guilt of things you said or did. it's still hard for me some days. Once you are perceived as an addict it takes 3X longer to not be seen that way. Stay busy dude , stay active I don't want to see you or anybody become another statistic.


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## rocco-x (Sep 30, 2017)

I really needed this.

After relapsing on 013 I finally went away in Nov 015, long term, and weaned off methadone. I was good until I couldn't control the cravings and relapsed after 16mnths leaving the rehab in Apr 017 to literally live on the streets of midtown Manhattan and the lower East side. Shooting up to 15 bags a day I've been to 6 different detoxes in the last 6mnths, the last and God willing my final one this last month.

I'm out a full week, off everything, including the subs I was on from 07 until my relapse in 013. I moved back to Jersey with an old gf who never gave up on me, joined a gym this morning and just did a half hour, a grueling half hour, of just arms.
  I feel weak af, feel like a 12yr old girl scout, every joint hurts, my right shoulder has worsened doubly in the last few years and I just don't have the taste for the iron anymore. 

I'm scared it'll never come back. I'm scared I'll just be as weak as I always get and eventually relapse, meetings or not. I'm gonna be 50 in another month or so, I don't have it in me to keep doing the whole detox,rehab,dope runs,street life shot anymore yet every time I think I've bottomed out I find a new and improved shobel,some dynamite,and blow a hole into the deeper recesses of he'll on earth.

I was so out there that both my parents passed this last year and I didn't make it to either funeral because I was so smoked the **** out,a regret,if I don't let it go eventually,will surely kill me.

I'm messed up in the brain. I've spent nearly 27yrs abusing my body like a chemical amusement park and have pushed the envelope numerous times and rewired my brain so much that I don't know if I can spend the next decade rewiring it back to so called normal.

I'm seriously thinking of going back on subs or getting the vivitrol shot. At least I'll know I can't bang dope with naloxone or bupe in my system. It worked for 5yrs and only relapsed a few months after I decided to get off.

I'm lost right now, just needed to puke or bent a bit.


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## IHI (Sep 30, 2017)

My hats off to you bro's dealing with and/or overcoming your addiction/s. I grew up with an alky for a step dad and seen/felt what that was like so just never been a guy that could chill with a drink afterwork. Nicotine, well, Im Nickies bitch. Started smoking at 13, dipping at 14...ill be 43 tomorrow so thats a whole lotta logs and packs ive gone thru. Smoking the past few years is a "when I drink beer" only addiction just because i love the combo....outside of that i quit smoking. Doesnt really count since i still chew thru a log every 5 days....my employees would shut down my jobsites the times i tried quitting, just to goto store and get me smokes/chew because i turned into an asshole withdrawing.

good friend at work, addictive demon, bad alcoholic that almost cost him his family since they were tired of the bad side. He found god, is almost finished with his pastor degree in his college and speaks every sunday at his church. He replaced his alcohol and drug addiction with a very serious gym addiction and looks amazing, but he also does the juice but after what hes been thru, he knows his addictive nature and keeps himself in check so this doesnt get out of control. But says even as busy as his days are, he will still have to fight urges to buying beer time to time....his father was an alky and ruined his family, so that addictive gene was just passed down, but hes fought/fighting to keep kicking that nasty addiction asshole down


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## Caballero (Sep 30, 2017)

rocco-x said:


> I really needed this.
> 
> After relapsing on 013 I finally went away in Nov 015, long term, and weaned off methadone. I was good until I couldn't control the cravings and relapsed after 16mnths leaving the rehab in Apr 017 to literally live on the streets of midtown Manhattan and the lower East side. Shooting up to 15 bags a day I've been to 6 different detoxes in the last 6mnths, the last and God willing my final one this last month.
> 
> ...


What has been working for me is reaching out to someone the days I think or want to use. When I talk about it with someone it has helped kill the idea/plan I get in my brain. Today has been especially hard I'm heading to my 4th F..ing meeting today right now so I feel your pain. Hang in there friend we are here to help one another...
.Cab


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## Bro Bundy (Sep 30, 2017)

Snort some lines


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## jennerrator (Sep 30, 2017)

Bro Bundy said:


> Snort some lines



dude................................................................................


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## Jin (Sep 30, 2017)

Bro Bundy said:


> Snort some lines



I've read a lot of old posts. Considering this I'm surprised by your lack of empathy. Seems like you got a lot of support, why not pay it forward instead of being a ****ing dick?


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## Caballero (Sep 30, 2017)

Bro Bundy said:


> Snort some lines



I hear doc's are prescribing this for pain relief after a nose job. :32 (17):


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## Bro Bundy (Sep 30, 2017)

Jin said:


> I've read a lot of old posts. Considering this I'm surprised by your lack of empathy. Seems like you got a lot of support, why not pay it forward instead of being a ****ing dick?


Ya I look back and think how retarded it is to post this type of shit on a juicehead board ..loosen the fuk up too u big fukkin Asian


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## Bro Bundy (Sep 30, 2017)

jennerrator50 said:


> dude................................................................................


Loosen the fuk up dude.....


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## Bro Bundy (Sep 30, 2017)

Caballero said:


> I hear doc's are prescribing this for pain relief after a nose job. :32 (17):


I hope so...


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## Bro Bundy (Sep 30, 2017)

Learn to take a joke u sober fags


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## Bro Bundy (Sep 30, 2017)

Caballero said:


> I hear doc's are prescribing this for pain relief after a nose job. :32 (17):


Only fukkin guy with a sense of humor .., where the fuk is your compassion and empathy u jerk


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## Bro Bundy (Sep 30, 2017)

Who remembers pookie from new jack city hahaha


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## Redrum1327 (Sep 30, 2017)

Jin said:


> I've read a lot of old posts. Considering this I'm surprised by your lack of empathy. Seems like you got a lot of support, why not pay it forward instead of being a ****ing dick?



That's just Bundy Jin. You get use to him or ignore him one of the two lol . He grows on you like herpes or an infectious cyst with no cure. I know he's been there an is just cracking jokes but then again I've been stuck with good and bad Bundy for over 4 yrs now so I know what to expect and how to take him. He's harmless , just loud. lol


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## Bro Bundy (Sep 30, 2017)

^^^this man has giant hands and fingers


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## jennerrator (Sep 30, 2017)

Bro Bundy said:


> Loosen the fuk up dude.....




I'll try chick.....


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## #TheMatrix (Oct 1, 2017)

Ive been drinking myself to sleep for a month.
I'm unsure where to go from here. I'm not looking for advice. Nor am I'm looking for judgement as with out knowing why I'm drinking myself to sleep. There can't be judgement.

So what I'm asking is.
Is there such a thing is part time addict/Alcoholic?

I honestly can't seem to function lately  with out alcohol. the reason why being valid as to why I've been drowning myself in alcohol.

One day. I'll look back. And tell myself. It was the only option at the time. At that point. I'll give it up.


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## Caballero (Oct 1, 2017)

#TheMatrix said:


> One day. I'll look back. And tell myself. It was the only option at the time. At that point. I'll give it up.



I wish you the best and hope this stage passes for you. But if that day does not come do not hesitate to reach out to someone.


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## Redrum1327 (Oct 1, 2017)

No judgement from this guy trust me. The only thing i can say is its def not a good course of action and its part time til its not and for most when you realize it's not part time any more it's very difficult to get a grip on rather it be booze/drugs. All I can say is figure out the cause and find a different solution now and it won't be as bad as most situations get bc drowning yourself doesn't sound like a good solution bro.  Have you tried Ambien, tylenol pm or a sleep aid ? I wish you the best brother honestly.


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## ECKSRATED (Oct 1, 2017)

#TheMatrix said:


> Ive been drinking myself to sleep for a month.
> I'm unsure where to go from here. I'm not looking for advice. Nor am I'm looking for judgement as with out knowing why I'm drinking myself to sleep. There can't be judgement.
> 
> So what I'm asking is.
> ...



There is no valid reason to drown yourself with alcohol man. U might think it's valid but it's not. Just making things worse. I don't know why youre.doing it but like I said you're just making things worse. Wish u the best matrix.


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## Beezy (Oct 1, 2017)

#TheMatrix said:


> Ive been drinking myself to sleep for a month.
> I'm unsure where to go from here. I'm not looking for advice. Nor am I'm looking for judgement as with out knowing why I'm drinking myself to sleep. There can't be judgement.
> 
> So what I'm asking is.
> ...



It's not part time if it's every night. 
Aside from the stomach and liver damage occurring, at some point you just won't wake up, or you will be forced to drive somewhere after you've had your drink. I've seen this movie a hundred times. 

I don't want to force advice on somebody who doesn't want it, but at the same time, if you were complaining about tennis elbow I'd tell you to go get an elbow wrap and some Motrin.

Test your theory about giving it up easily. Go to a local AA meeting, they are everywhere. 
You will be so terrified of becoming what you see that, if you can, you will walk away from it.
Good luck though, I went from a mixed drink every night to a fifth of Bacardi before bed after a buddy passed. It was not easy to give up.


----------



## JuiceTrain (Oct 1, 2017)

I recently had to check into a rehab facility,
Got a real bad batch of weed from some 2faced dominicans waaaay outside my hood....shxt ****ed with my state of mind to the point where i couldn't trust anyone

Tried to stay home and fight it but had to check into one because my job new something was wrong with me

They know i smoke weed...shxt i even smoke with some of the higher ups so they sat me down one day and questioned me as to why i wasn't acting normal

Opening up was hard to do because it just felt like my job and life was in severe jeopardy but once i did i started getting my .02cents back.....haven't smoked anything for the past 2months or so now maybe

I'm actually kind of scared to now lol can't risk letting that shxt happen again. Even though i didn't get that batch from someone I'm used to it's still just an irrational fear for the time being but i can use the mental clarity for awhile.


----------



## rocco-x (Oct 1, 2017)

JT, you sure it was real weed and not K2?

I took one hit a fee months ago and for 2 days I couldn't walk straight cause the world was spinning. That and excessive puking.
  Wasn't fun at all.


----------



## JuiceTrain (Oct 1, 2017)

rocco-x said:


> JT, you sure it was real weed and not K2?
> 
> I took one hit a fee months ago and for 2 days I couldn't walk straight cause the world was spinning. That and excessive puking.
> Wasn't fun at all.



Honestly dude not even 100%
I was drunk when i got the bag and still had to break it down a bit but i was using a one hitter so i all i had to do was dip, light, and smoke.

When i went to the rehab place and they tested me all that came back was marijuana.... now I've done other shxt besides weed but that experience i had was nothing like I've ever done....especially to fuk with my head like that for that long

I've never done the k2 or spice so i don't know how I'd react to it but why use fake weed when real buds are obviously better and safer


----------



## Redrum1327 (Oct 1, 2017)

I know Doms in the city up here sell joints or small bags of weed but the shits dipped in embalming fluid. Basically smoking a joint of weed and knock off angel dust.


----------



## JuiceTrain (Oct 1, 2017)

Redrum1327 said:


> I know Doms in the city up here sell joints or small bags of weed but the shits dipped in embalming fluid. Basically smoking a joint of weed and knock off angel dust.



There's 3x in my life when i got bad weed, and everytime has been from dominicans. But this last shxt fuked me up real bad, maybe it was that spice shxt mixed with dust it was that bad but no way to really tell now, I just know I'll never get shxt from dominicans again. I fuk their women good and in return they try to me into a junkie.


----------



## Caballero (Oct 4, 2017)

Been a tough week fighting my brain and the old thoughts(using) coming back. Read this article and definitely was a boost of inspiration. Just when you think life is tough something shows you it could always be harder.


https://www.theguardian.com/sport/v...h-out-sight-the-story-of-ronald-dlamini-video


----------



## Bro Bundy (Oct 4, 2017)

I'm on pain killers for the first time in years.. I thought it would get me high as hell since I haven't used in a longtime .. nope still got a tolerance to dope like a motherfukker .. gonna ask for a stronger dose tomorrow


----------



## Bro Bundy (Oct 4, 2017)

Caballero said:


> Been a tough week fighting my brain and the old thoughts(using) coming back. Read this article and definitely was a boost of inspiration. Just when you think life is tough something shows you it could always be harder.
> 
> 
> https://www.theguardian.com/sport/v...h-out-sight-the-story-of-ronald-dlamini-video


just smoke weed man when u get cravings ., Smoke good and hard so u won't wanna do anything else.it works for me


----------



## Bro Bundy (Oct 4, 2017)

Redrum1327 said:


> I know Doms in the city up here sell joints or small bags of weed but the shits dipped in embalming fluid. Basically smoking a joint of weed and knock off angel dust.


it wasn't me dog the high would do it,I used to get wild off embalming fluid,sending niggaz to the trama unit........ What rapper said that ?


----------



## Caballero (Oct 4, 2017)

Bro Bundy said:


> just smoke weed man when u get cravings ., Smoke good and hard so u won't wanna do anything else.it works for me



Been down that road already man first time outta treatment 2012. I found after a while the weed took away my desire and motivation to want to stay sober. Thus setting me up for failure. So for me atleast, I need to follow "total abstinence ". Not too mention trying to explain to my employer why I pissed hot for the nxt 2 yrs haha


----------



## DaPump (Oct 4, 2017)

4 months SOBER! I'm trying my best to stay this way and I'm feeling good about getting back into shape again!


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## Gibsonator (Oct 4, 2017)

cab when I got my 13 months sober I didn't do shit, no weed nothin. I felt the same way man I just wanted to have a clear head and I enjoyed it. now I'm back trying not to drink and weed helps a lot, soon as I hit that bong I couldn't give a shit about alcohol but hey to each thier own


----------



## Gibsonator (Oct 4, 2017)

addiction sucks man, it hurts the people we love the most and we just turn a blind eye and continue to get faded. most of us here still hold it together only cause we have strong principles and work hard,  hit the gym hard so it doesn't take us down all the way but man life is definitely better without drugs/alcohol, weed is fine, for most, not all


----------



## Caballero (Oct 4, 2017)

Gibsonator said:


> cab when I got my 13 months sober I didn't do shit, no weed nothin. I felt the same way man I just wanted to have a clear head and I enjoyed it. now I'm back trying not to drink and weed helps a lot, soon as I hit that bong I couldn't give a shit about alcohol but hey to each thier own


I know brother different strokes for different folks, I don't judge anyone you know that man...never will. Just for me I do anything and everything in addictive form. Growing up I took sports to the extreme playing and practicing every single day non stop rain or sushine. Samething now with training and diet but unfortunately I take drugs and alcohol too that same extreme. Learning "balance" is the key which til this day still eludes me. On another note my sleep pattern is pissing me off!!! Great just passed out for 2 hrs now I'm wide awake again !!!!!! Doc tried to push 2 so called sleep meds on me last week. Trazodone & Seroquel I laughed in his face and said "I'll pass on the anti-depressant & anti-psychotics thank you very much " lol Fu*kin clown!


----------



## SFGiants (Oct 4, 2017)

26 years clean, it's a choice to use or not to use once you get enough time and when someone says they relapsed with a year plus clean that's a choice not a relapse!


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## Caballero (Oct 4, 2017)

SFGiants said:


> 26 years clean, it's a choice to use or not to use once you get enough time and when someone says they relapsed with a year plus clean that's a choice not a relapse!



Damn were you at the meeting I attended last night SFGiants?  A guy said these exact words I shit you not. That is kinda creepy haha but so true.....


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## Bro Bundy (Oct 4, 2017)

What was your drug of choice? At my worst I liked smoking crack , snorting heroin ,and popping zanny bars..A lot of my friends I did it with died off..I always had crazy tolerance to drugs so I never od before .., I'll never do that again


----------



## JuiceTrain (Oct 4, 2017)

Always been a weed head,
Started doing coke when i was introduced to white people and strippers hahaha never considered myself an addict though....did a gram or 2 on the weekends....one bag would last me from fri night into sat... while others would be done in 30mins wanting more.....not a fan of liquor, only drank if i planned to blow some lines or fuk haha, drink 1st add coke smoke a cig than fuk a bxtch...good times
Did molly/X a couple times but that was only if i was in a threesome (which rarely happened)
Overall I'd say if i was an addict i was just addicted to weed lol loved the shxt....every day i wanted to smoke


----------



## Caballero (Oct 4, 2017)

You know that ending scene in Scarface where Tony is sitting in his chair with the " powder nose" ? Yeaaaaaaaaaaa


----------



## Bro Bundy (Oct 4, 2017)

I truly believe marijuana can solve all drug problems


----------



## Yaya (Oct 4, 2017)

Good to hear all u guys that are winning the fight

And to the ones not winning...just keep trying


----------



## Bro Bundy (Oct 4, 2017)

Yaya loves snorting things


----------



## Caballero (Oct 4, 2017)

Bro Bundy said:


> I truly believe marijuana can solve all drug problems


Can't  say you're wrong when it comes to certain drugs.....

http://www.rollingstone.com/culture...ld-help-end-opioid-addiction-epidemic-w473798


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## SFGiants (Oct 4, 2017)

Crank was mine which is much more stronger then meth, shit keeps you up for days at a time on just a little bit.


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## Metalhead1 (Oct 4, 2017)

29 now. Did all sorts of different drugs between 15-18. Got so bad to being a junkie shooting meth and scheming for money. Quit cold turkey after shooting for two years. Got trash fever. Contemplated suicide, but joined the military and got away from that life.

Drank a little, until about two years ago after my recent divorce. Thats whem i started drinking heavily and damn near every night. Finally had enough about 2 months ago, and quit drinking vodka finally. It consumed my life way too much.

Never been to rehab, meetings, or anything. I'm not the strongest person mentally, but I've quit all of my bad addictions on my own. For that i feel fortunate.

There's no way I can imagine what some of you have to go through. You all have my full respect and best wishes for getting well and bettering your lives


----------



## Beezy (Oct 4, 2017)

@ SF and Meathead:
Meth is a m-fer. You guys are lucky to be so sane and rid of it. That drug straight up made people I knew different people. Even after they got clean, not even the same human beings.


----------



## Metalhead1 (Oct 4, 2017)

Beezy said:


> @ SF and Meathead:
> Meth is a m-fer. You guys are lucky to be so sane and rid of it. That drug straight up made people I knew different people. Even after they got clean, not even the same human beings.



Bro, I know. It's absolutely terrible. It ruined most of my family, and many more friends that I used to run around with. 

I wouldn't say I'm sane. I had to go to a psychiatrist for depression, anxiety all that. Even though i quit over 10 years ago, it really hindered my brain growth at such a young age


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## Caballero (Oct 13, 2017)

Doing some shopping DT and just checked out the new Nordstrom (new in Cdn) As I hit the second floor low n behold there's a full on bar set up ! (cute bartender to boot)    Wtf ? lol


----------



## gymrat827 (Oct 13, 2017)

Beezy said:


> @ SF and Meathead:
> Meth is a m-fer. You guys are lucky to be so sane and rid of it. That drug straight up made people I knew different people. Even after they got clean, not even the same human beings.



x2x on crack

i have some friends who are not the same, they used on n off for 5-8 years, 18-27 age mainly.  

But a few dudes just live at home with their parents, they wont talk to any of our crew, email, text, nothing.  Just closet cases, 2 of which were my best friends from 5-20 yrs old.  I grew up in a upper middle class area, so money wasnt an issue.  That was what dragged lots down.  

Kids would just keep getting it for one reason or another.  At one point, my buddy would charge 100 bux on a cc, just for 50 in cash.  His parents thought a credit card wouldn't allow you to buy coke/crack, but they quickly realized what was what when their cc bill spiked up 4400 a month.   

shitty, just shitty


----------



## gymrat827 (Oct 13, 2017)

SFGiants said:


> Crank was mine which is much more stronger then meth, shit keeps you up for days at a time on just a little bit.



i remember that stuff.  Dudes would take that, then sip lots of liquid g

Few ambulance runs had to take place.


----------



## Bullseye Forever (Oct 13, 2017)

Well as of today I’m 4 months clean


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## curtisvill (Oct 13, 2017)

Bullseye Forever said:


> Well as of today I’m 4 months clean



Well done sir!

Went to my first meeting when I was 13. Spent 7 weeks in an inpatient rehab facility when I was 18. I went in and out for a few years before I finally got serious about sobriety. I recently celebrated 27 years sober. Greatest journey of my life. Not sure why I was able to get sobriety when so many around me were not, many of which have died. God obviously has plans for me, and for that, I am eternally grateful.


----------



## Bullseye Forever (Oct 13, 2017)

curtisvill said:


> Well done sir!
> 
> Went to my first meeting when I was 13. Spent 7 weeks in an inpatient rehab facility when I was 18. I went in and out for a few years before I finally got serious about sobriety. I recently celebrated 27 years sober. Greatest journey of my life. Not sure why I was able to get sobriety when so many around me were not, many of which have died. God obviously has plans for me, and for that, I am eternally grateful.



Dude that’s awesome !!! Hope it continues for you!!


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## stonetag (Oct 13, 2017)

Bullseye Forever said:


> Well as of today I’m 4 months clean





curtisvill said:


> Well done sir!
> 
> Went to my first meeting when I was 13. Spent 7 weeks in an inpatient rehab facility when I was 18. I went in and out for a few years before I finally got serious about sobriety. I recently celebrated 27 years sober. Greatest journey of my life. Not sure why I was able to get sobriety when so many around me were not, many of which have died. God obviously has plans for me, and for that, I am eternally grateful.



Great job fellas, keep er up! Good to see ya Curtis...


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## BigGameHunter (Oct 14, 2017)

curtisvill said:


> Well done sir!
> 
> Went to my first meeting when I was 13. Spent 7 weeks in an inpatient rehab facility when I was 18. I went in and out for a few years before I finally got serious about sobriety. I recently celebrated 27 years sober. Greatest journey of my life. Not sure why I was able to get sobriety when so many around me were not, many of which have died. God obviously has plans for me, and for that, I am eternally grateful.



Congrats. 
Great news and great to see you Brother

great thread and lots of heart shown. I'm not surprised though. Proud of all of you


----------



## Caballero (Oct 15, 2017)

The numbers up here are only getting higher each month. If government really wanted to stop the flow of fent, they should ban all China's imports. Until they clean up their act. I know that's a pipe dream...


https://www.google.ca/amp/vancouver...ers-warned-about-deadly-overdose-epidemic/amp


----------



## Caballero (Oct 19, 2017)

Today is the first real day of weather change here, 50 fuc*king mm of rain!!!! Hate it!!!!!
All I accomplished was a workout and one AA meeting. The rest of the day I found myself staying home not wanting to do a damn thing. Then I read this article and I can say without a doubt I fall into the 2-3%. Does anyone else suffer from this ? I notice my last relap last yr(fall/winter) the amounts double due to the weather. Being aware is half the battle to not letting one slip back into old habits of isolation. As I get older I really notice the weather effects me more and more. So....anyone here live in Belize? lol I'll pack my bags now. :32 (20):

https://www.google.ca/amp/vancouver...forecast-to-hit-b-c-south-coast-this-week/amp


----------



## jennerrator (Oct 19, 2017)

I have a good friend that moved from Toronto to Vancouver so I've been there a few times...love it but I don't have to live there  that type of weather would **** with me also I'm sure...especially after living in SoCal for over 30 years...he has his "outs" but that's just how he is unfortunately, I hope his health stays good. 

I will say this, that street that has all businesses closed up but has that center (not sure what they call them) that gives out clean needles etc...trips me the **** out..I'm sure we have that here in LA but I can count on two hands how many times I've been to downtown LA in 30 years LOL


----------



## Caballero (Oct 19, 2017)

jennerrator50 said:


> I have a good friend that moved from Toronto to Vancouver so I've been there a few times...love it but I don't have to live there  that type of weather would **** with me also I'm sure...especially after living in SoCal for over 30 years...he has his "outs" but that's just how he is unfortunately, I hope his health stays good.
> 
> I will say this, that street that has all businesses closed up but has that center (not sure what they call them) that gives out clean needles etc...trips me the **** out..I'm sure we have that here in LA but I can count on two hands how many times I've been to downtown LA in 30 years LOL


This city is amazing when the weather is good but the minute fall hits everyone turns into hermits haha
That street you're referring to Jennerrator is Hastings St aka "Wasting St" in the Dt Eastside, it's very bad down there. That "Supervised injection site" is really needed imo. Its helping "some what" with keeping the disease/death rates down. But with the Fent blowing up its making that tougher(death rate)


----------



## jennerrator (Oct 19, 2017)

Caballero said:


> This city is amazing when the weather is good but the minute fall hits everyone turns into hermits haha
> That street you're referring to Jennerrator is Hastings St aka "Wasting St" in the Dt Eastside, it's very bad down there. That "Supervised injection site" is really needed imo. Its helping "some what" with keeping the disease/death rates down. But with the Fent blowing up its making that tougher(death rate)



yep, that's it lol...what a fuuuking trip and it's not that it's what it is that's a trip...it's that street hahahaha cuz then you turn the corner and "normal" 

you are correct though, when the weather is good...it's a beautiful city annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd Whistler baby!


----------



## Caballero (Oct 19, 2017)

jennerrator50 said:


> yep, that's it lol...what a fuuuking trip and it's not that it's what it is that's a trip...it's that street hahahaha cuz then you turn the corner and "normal"
> 
> you are correct though, when the weather is good...it's a beautiful city annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd Whistler baby!


They are putting up new highrises and closing down a few of the "infamous" drug riddled hotels atm. So it will start pushing the homeless out but to where is the question. This city is so Fing expensive to live that the homeless problem is only getting worse.

And Whistler is getting dumped on as we speak.."fresh tracks" coming!! :32 (1):


----------



## jennerrator (Oct 19, 2017)

Caballero said:


> They are putting up new highrises and closing down a few of the "infamous" drug riddled hotels atm. So it will start pushing the homeless out but to where is the question. This city is so Fing expensive to live that the homeless problem is only getting worse.
> 
> And Whistler is getting dumped on as we speak.."fresh tracks" coming!! :32 (1):



yep..........................check this shit out...close to where I work:32 (6):

http://www.ocregister.com/2017/08/3...na-river-trail-state-of-emergency-considered/

No frickin way...already?????????????????????????? I love it there...jelly:32 (20):


----------



## Caballero (Oct 19, 2017)

jennerrator50 said:


> yep..........................check this shit out...close to where I work:32 (6):
> 
> http://www.ocregister.com/2017/08/3...na-river-trail-state-of-emergency-considered/
> 
> No frickin way...already?????????????????????????? I love it there...jelly:32 (20):


Yup "tent cities" are popping up on the daily here too. Aunt in England was telling me that at her work (bank). The parking lot was recently taken over by gypsies lol Reminded me of the movie Snatch, didn't think they were still around. haha


----------



## jennerrator (Oct 19, 2017)

Caballero said:


> Yup "tent cities" are popping up on the daily here too. Aunt in England was telling me that at her work (bank). The parking lot was recently taken over by gypsies lol Reminded me of the movie Snatch, didn't think they were still around. haha



lol.....that's a great fuuking movie!!!


----------



## Gibsonator (Oct 19, 2017)

jennerrator50 said:


> yep..........................check this shit out...close to where I work:32 (6):
> 
> http://www.ocregister.com/2017/08/3...na-river-trail-state-of-emergency-considered/
> 
> No frickin way...already?????????????????????????? I love it there...jelly:32 (20):



yea seen that jen,  pretty gnarley next to Angel Stadium and a lot of them migrated to the ditches in Santa Ana as well. Seen them up in there bbqing and playing music wtf


----------



## jennerrator (Oct 19, 2017)

Gibsonator said:


> yea seen that jen,  pretty gnarley next to Angel Stadium and a lot of them migrated to the ditches in Santa Ana as well. Seen them up in there bbqing and playing music wtf



yea its fricking crazy how they make it like an actual neighborhood lol

I feel bad for them as I don't know where they are supposed to go and most of them don't bother anyone but still............world's getting really scary!


----------



## StillKickin (Oct 20, 2017)

Hey Cab.
You've got the drop in meditation classes linked above.
Thought I'd mention that while in rehab we did a fair bit of guided meditation.
I did enjoy it, and seemingly did find myself less distracted for a period afterwards.
Good luck.


----------



## Caballero (Oct 20, 2017)

StillKickin said:


> Hey Cab.
> You've got the drop in meditation classes linked above.
> Thought I'd mention that while in rehab we did a fair bit of guided meditation.
> I did enjoy it, and seemingly did find myself less distracted for a period afterwards.
> Good luck.



Thxs for the reply man....i'm really noticing the need to expand my progression. "Meetings" are great but they're starting to lose that luster for me atleast. Will 
share my experience with both. Thxs again Stillkickin


----------



## Bullseye Forever (Oct 20, 2017)

Does anyone that’s clean still have those urges?


----------



## #TheMatrix (Oct 20, 2017)

Bullseye Forever said:


> Does anyone that’s clean still have those urges?



I'm sure.
Same as juicing.
Going natty and still craving.

IF FD went straight...he would still get urges for Thai lady boys.


Not but for real, I've cut down to liquor mostly. I haven't gotten over the reason why I'm drowning in alcohol at nights but I'm starting to cope better or easier?

If any of you had your hand ripped off would you turn to alcohol?  Then why do we turn to the bottle after the loss of a family member or siblings or children.

To those that haven't experienced that, I'll drink plenty on your behalf. There's a huge party at my place and only invites are the walker family and Jameson.


----------



## Bro Bundy (Oct 20, 2017)

Any time I feel I wanna get High I just smoke a joint of some raw ass shit .. no problems after that .. I call it the bundy staying sober method .. u guys should try it make your life better


----------



## Caballero (Oct 20, 2017)

Bullseye Forever said:


> Does anyone that’s clean still have those urges?



Just an example BF an old timer with over 10 yrs clean just went "out" last week.  Guess that's why the saying one day at a time is so true.


----------



## Bullseye Forever (Oct 20, 2017)

Caballero said:


> Just an example BF an old timer with over 10 yrs clean just went "out" last week.  Guess that's why the saying one day at a time is so true.



I hear you brother....the feeling never leaves


----------



## Caballero (Oct 21, 2017)

Bullseye Forever said:


> I hear you brother....the feeling never leaves


No doubt BF, hardest part this go around was accepting the fact that I can not drink or drug ever again. Blows my mind to think about, since most started at such a young age like many brothers here.


----------



## BRICKS (Oct 21, 2017)

Bullseye Forever said:


> Does anyone that’s clean still have those urges?



Nope.  Once I got sober never had an urge or even a second thought.  Only time I thought about alcohol was at an AA meeting.  Quitting was the hard part, staying quit was easy.


----------



## JuiceTrain (Oct 21, 2017)

Bullseye Forever said:


> Does anyone that’s clean still have those urges?



Haven't smoke weed in a couple months, haven't done coke or molly 2years (completely done with those), rarely drink, and been off the juice for a couple months as well.......the only thing i really miss is the juice
If i smoke weed It's cuz some chick has bud
And if i drink it's only cuz my homegurl made plans to get drunk n fuk lol


----------



## Big Worm (Oct 21, 2017)

Well I made it to page 2 and decided to grab my chew and head out to the garage to have a beer.


----------



## Caballero (Oct 21, 2017)

Big Worm said:


> to have a beer.



What's " A beer" ? Don't know anything bout that ! lol  Maybe  " A case"   :32 (17):


----------



## curtisvill (Oct 22, 2017)

Cravings come and go, however mine are much less now than they used to be.Talking about it always helped me as did remembering where I came from.  Be strong Cab, which is easier said than done.


----------



## Caballero (Oct 22, 2017)

curtisvill said:


> Cravings come and go, however mine are much less now than they used to be.Talking about it always helped me as did remembering where I came from.  Be strong Cab, which is easier said than done.



Thxs for the words of encouragement man. The day I entered treatment they made me write down my "Last 90 days" before arriving. The shit sends a shiver down my spine everyday I've read it these pasted wks. Never wanna go back to the madness and living in that greasy world ever again.


----------



## BigJohnny (Oct 22, 2017)

Caballero said:


> Thxs for the words of encouragement man. The day I entered treatment they made me write down my "Last 90 days" before arriving. The shit sends a shiver down my spine everyday I've read it these pasted wks. Never wanna go back to the madness and living in that greasy world ever again.


Just keep chugging along brother. For some the cravings go away. I haven’t had a craving for coke or meth in years but I can’t give up the weed for nothing. I love that shit and it’s got me by the balls!


----------



## Bro Bundy (Oct 22, 2017)

If I was able to smash drugs anyone can .. Smoke weed


----------



## Caballero (Oct 22, 2017)

Bro Bundy said:


> If I was able to smash drugs anyone can .. Smoke weed



Nxt 2 YEARS of mandatory piss testing Bundy...can't happen lol


----------



## Bro Bundy (Oct 22, 2017)

I'm very sorry


----------



## curtisvill (Oct 23, 2017)

Caballero said:


> Nxt 2 YEARS of mandatory piss testing Bundy...can't happen lol



Don’t start Cab. As an alcoholic/addict you know it’s an all or nothing proposition. Weed is a slippery slope, why mess with it? I don’t drink jon-alcoholic beer for that reason, not to mention it sucks. One day at a time it will get better and easier, trust me and the others that have come before you.


----------



## Caballero (Oct 23, 2017)

curtisvill said:


> Don’t start Cab. As an alcoholic/addict you know it’s an all or nothing proposition. Weed is a slippery slope, why mess with it? I don’t drink jon-alcoholic beer for that reason, not to mention it sucks. One day at a time it will get better and easier, trust me and the others that have come before you.



100% on the money brother!!!! I tried that back 2012 it led me right back to my demons. All or nothing is the addict/alcoholic life.


----------



## bubbagump (Oct 23, 2017)

I'm in the middle of trying to quit drinking right now.   It's a real bitch.   I just spent a week in the hospital and lost 25 lbs.


----------



## Caballero (Oct 23, 2017)

bubbagump said:


> I'm in the middle of trying to quit drinking right now.   It's a real bitch.   I just spent a week in the hospital and lost 25 lbs.


Was in the same boat man, had to wait 9 months for gallbladder removal and was buckin rails hard.In May I was down to 195p smh! Since quiting and back in the gym back up to 230p, comes back quick bro. Wish you the best....


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## Bullseye Forever (Oct 23, 2017)

Cab I lost a bunch of weight when I quit the cough syrup,I was holding a lot of water from it,and it took 2 Trips to the ER to quit,the first time it shut my kidneys down and I got out and started drinking it again then I fell and broke my leg when I was high and that was the straw that broke the camels back to quit then,God was trying to send me a message!!


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## Caballero (Oct 23, 2017)

Bullseye Forever said:


> Cab I lost a bunch of weight when I quit the cough syrup,I was holding a lot of water from it,and it took 2 Trips to the ER to quit,the first time it shut my kidneys down and I got out and started drinking it again then I fell and broke my leg when I was high and that was the straw that broke the camels back to quit then,God was trying to send me a message!!


It's fu*ked how some of us push our bodies to that extreme without even flinching(Aas,drugs,booze). Doc told me my pancreas was enlarged and was concerned at the end of my run. That finally woke my ass up BF haha, guess some of us had to go that far to finally change. This thread has been a tremendous help personally. Many thxs to everyone's shares and input ...much respect!!!


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## Bullseye Forever (Oct 23, 2017)

Caballero said:


> It's fu*ked how some of us push our bodies to that extreme without even flinching(Aas,drugs,booze). Doc told me my pancreas was enlarged and was concerned at the end of my run. That finally woke my ass up BF haha, guess some of us had to go that far to finally change. This thread has been a tremendous help personally. Many thxs to everyone's shares and input ...much respect!!!



I agree Cab...just takes some of us a little longer to realize what damage it does to us...this thread has really helped me as well,let’s me know I’m not the only one it happens to


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## Runningwild (Oct 24, 2017)

Great idea for the thread,  I got 9 years back in august,  I was young got perscribed opiates for an injury and it was all over.  I am glad I went through it,  I feel it has made me a stronger person because of it especially going through at a young age


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## Hardhittingoldboy (Oct 26, 2017)

I lost everything due to cocaine I was an addict for 15 years I lost my family my house my job everything . The only thing that has kept me on the straight and narrow is my training without the gym I start to loose my mind and slip back in to old habits . I had a nervous brake down 2 years ago and all of this was due to the chemical imbalance cocaine put me in and the extreme pressure of running an extremely busy kitchen within a very busy hotel was enough to tip me over the edge I have been clean now for 2 years but like they say once an addict always an addict because as soon as anything negative happens in my life the urge comes to the front of my mind but so far I have always had the strength to push it back . I really respect the honesty of anyone that has the balls to tell the truth about addiction because most of society sees it as shamefull but what they don't realise is that it is a sickness that no one chooses to have you can't help that when you take a drug that it flicks a switch in your head . For most people they can pick up and put down cocaine but for me from the first time I took it that switch in my head was flicked and that's the only way I can explain it . Sorry for this long text but this subject is extremely close to my heart and I say this completely genuinely if anyone ever feels like using again I will always talk to anyone that wants some help and wants any support .


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## Caballero (Oct 27, 2017)

Well gents it pays going to AA haha Just finished a meeting at this big community center. As I walked out of the room, the next door "convention room" was a Lululemon convention!!!!!! Talk about heaven 90% women and all tight, fit & beautiful and all wearing lulu's !!!!  Wish I could lie and say I got a number but I wasn't wearing any lulu's lol


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## jennerrator (Oct 27, 2017)

Caballero said:


> Well gents it pays going to AA haha Just finished a meeting at this big community center. As I walked out of the room, the next door "convention room" was a Lululemon convention!!!!!! Talk about heaven 90% women and all tight, fit & beautiful and all wearing lulu's !!!!  Wish I could lie and say I got a number but I wasn't wearing any lulu's lol



fuuking love that brand for quality but fuuuk the price...


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## Caballero (Oct 27, 2017)

To the American members who do enjoy a nice beer after a long week at work. Happy American Beer Day!! Didn't know it was actually listed as a holiday on October 27th, so have one for me! :32 (20):


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## BigJohnny (Oct 27, 2017)

Caballero said:


> To the American members who do enjoy a nice beer after a long week at work. Happy American Beer Day!! Didn't know it was actually listed as a holiday on October 27th, so have one for me! :32 (20):


I’ll have a bowl of devils lettuce for ya! Lol


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## Redrum1327 (Oct 27, 2017)

Bullseye Forever said:


> Does anyone that’s clean still have those urges?



I think at some point everyone still gets urges. Shit , I can sit and talk to my old lady about my past and the shit I use to do and my mouth will start to water talking about it. it's always there. I use to love being high, I didn't quit bc of the high , I quit bc of the 2-5 days after, i quit bc of what it turned me into, I quit for my family and friends, I quit bc I wanted to be a better version of myself. It's been 8 yrs and I still think about it but if it ends up around me, I have a lot more reasons now to say no then I did 8 yrs ago. The urges come and go, a long happy life that you wake up to everyday sober and know you're a better person for it, that feeling will never leave you.


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## Caballero (Oct 27, 2017)

BigJohnny said:


> I’ll have a bowl of devils lettuce for ya! Lol



Bastard! lol :32 (17):


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## jennerrator (Oct 27, 2017)

Caballero said:


> To the American members who do enjoy a nice beer after a long week at work. Happy American Beer Day!! Didn't know it was actually listed as a holiday on October 27th, so have one for me! :32 (20):



lol....who gives a rat's ass...have another beer fat fuuuks lmao! Canada baby!


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## Caballero (Oct 27, 2017)

jennerrator50 said:


> lol....who gives a rat's ass...have another beer fat fuuuks lmao! Canada baby!



Bwahàhahaha :32 (18): But it's not the "normie's" fault I can't just have one! hahahaha


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## jennerrator (Oct 27, 2017)

Caballero said:


> Bwahàhahaha :32 (18): But it's not the "normie's" fault I can't just have one! hahahaha



lol doesn't matter...has nothing to do with that....do we really need a fuuking "Beer Day"


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## Caballero (Oct 27, 2017)

jennerrator50 said:


> lol doesn't matter...has nothing to do with that....do we really need a fuuking "Beer Day"



Ask the Germans lol


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## BigJohnny (Oct 27, 2017)

Caballero said:


> Bwahàhahaha :32 (18): But it's not the "normie's" fault I can't just have one! hahahaha


That’s my problem brother, if I drink one, I need 10-15 more! That’s why I stick to smoking!


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## Caballero (Oct 27, 2017)

BigJohnny said:


> That’s my problem brother, if I drink one, I need 10-15 more!


Dido man, I always thought why just have one if I couldn't get buzzed.


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## bubbagump (Oct 28, 2017)

Yea I never saw the point in drink one or two.   If I wasn't getting a hard buzz on I wasn't even gonna waste my time.


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## Caballero (Nov 22, 2017)

Today marks 6 months in sobriety and feeling like a different person. This time has definitely had it's challenges, but reaching out and talking to someone has helped significantly. To anyone who's struggling or considering going back out ..stay strong! If you need an ear don't hesitate to drop a PM and shoot the shit. We can't do it alone.....


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## BigJohnny (Nov 22, 2017)

Caballero said:


> Today marks 6 months in sobriety and feeling like a different person. This time has definitely had it's challenges, but reaching out and talking to someone has helped significantly. To anyone who's struggling or considering going back out ..stay strong! If you need an ear don't hesitate to drop a PM and shoot the shit. We can't do it alone.....


Hell yea brother! Congrats!


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## Caballero (Nov 22, 2017)

BigJohnny said:


> Hell yea brother! Congrats!


You've been a big help through the last few months thank you bro.


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## Beezy (Nov 22, 2017)

Caballero said:


> Today marks 6 months in sobriety and feeling like a different person. This time has definitely had it's challenges, but reaching out and talking to someone has helped significantly. To anyone who's struggling or considering going back out ..stay strong! If you need an ear don't hesitate to drop a PM and shoot the shit. We can't do it alone.....



Congrats, Cab! 
The first six months are the hardest.


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## StillKickin (Nov 22, 2017)

Good on you man.
Keep yourself anchored and stay strong.


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## Jin (Nov 22, 2017)

Good work. One day at a time.


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## Caballero (Nov 23, 2017)

http://theprovince.com/health/yukon...ncer/wcm/1f9422a2-b181-443f-bd26-64591b66b983


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## jrsgym (Dec 6, 2017)

Good for you, Caballero. Recovering alcoholic myself. Been sober since November 4th 2014. This is a great thread, glad you started it. 
Keep up the good work!


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## pumpboss (Dec 19, 2017)

Caballero thanks for starting this thread. I have been in recovery for 2 1/2 years and bodybuilding has been a huge part of my success. The discipline and commitment of the sport provides a lot of needed structure. I absolutely loved the gym and training but my addiction stole that from me. I could barely survive the day let alone eat well and go to the gym. When I finally got clean i immediately fell back in love with training. It does me more good mentally and emotionally than physically. This is my first post on ugbb so I'm def not an expert but if anyone out there is struggling stay strong, you are not alone.


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## Caballero (Dec 21, 2017)

pumpboss said:


> Caballero thanks for starting this thread. I have been in recovery for 2 1/2 years and bodybuilding has been a huge part of my success. The discipline and commitment of the sport provides a lot of needed structure. I absolutely loved the gym and training but my addiction stole that from me. I could barely survive the day let alone eat well and go to the gym. When I finally got clean i immediately fell back in love with training. It does me more good mentally and emotionally than physically. This is my first post on ugbb so I'm def not an expert but if anyone out there is struggling stay strong, you are not alone.


Thanks for sharing dude and welcome to Ugbb. Expert or not everyone can contribute from life experience if you've dealt with addiction.


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## Caballero (Jan 19, 2018)

Well the battle continues...I relapsed last week and pissed hot. Doctors orders 60 days back in the hole. To anyone struggling I feel you keep your head up. See you guys and gals in 60.....


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## Spongy (Jan 19, 2018)

Caballero said:


> Well the battle continues...I relapsed last week and pissed hot. Doctors orders 60 days back in the hole. To anyone struggling I feel you keep your head up. See you guys and gals in 60.....



Be well brother, we will be here waiting.


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## Bullseye Forever (Jan 19, 2018)

Yea I got clean 6 months ago and I fell off the wagon a couple times,that’s not good but I keep trying everyday....I’m gonna beat it one day


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## jennerrator (Jan 19, 2018)

Caballero said:


> Well the battle continues...I relapsed last week and pissed hot. Doctors orders 60 days back in the hole. To anyone struggling I feel you keep your head up. See you guys and gals in 60.....



You are lucky you are not here as I would kick your ass............................................................................................

but...you can fix this shit hon, just keep trying!!:32 (16):


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## Caballero (Jan 20, 2018)

Thanks for sharing that Bullseye helps to hear I'm not alone brother. I will always be honest and hope it can help others. And Jennarrator stop turning me on with a good female ass kicking lol :32 (17): thxs you've been a great influence. Glad I didn't start my cycle yet, would be up sh*t creek. Haha


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## BigGameHunter (Jan 20, 2018)

Hang in there Cabs. You got this.


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## BigJohnny (Jan 20, 2018)

Like I told you Cab, This shit will happen and to anyone struggling with this know this is normal. If quitting were easy, there would be no junkies. Hang in there everyone struggling with addiction, if you really want it, you’ll get there! It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it!


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## StillKickin (Jan 20, 2018)

Cab I keep an eye on this thread man, and it seems that you are consistently struggling brother.
i do understand. I’ve been in that physically addicted hell where the addiction makes all of your daily decisions for you....so that it gets what it wants.
it was truly the darkest time period of my life.

What are doing to help yourself, and to proactively deter relapse?
Im curious if you are keeping yourself from people/situations that are going to push your will power to hard?
I don’t know brother I’m here to help you if I can in any way. That is not a polite or passive offer. I promise.
Pick yourself up here man, recommit yourself.
And this may sound rough...stop ****ing up!
Stop it, there is no part time addict man. No “I’ll hit this pipe, take that drink tonite, and just tonite.”
Stay committed and if it got bad enough for your before trying to get sober, reflect on that ****ing life. Do you want that again?
Stay in the moment Cab, reach to others, cause you sure as hell are not alone!


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## Bullseye Forever (Jan 20, 2018)

Caballero said:


> Thanks for sharing that Bullseye helps to hear I'm not alone brother. I will always be honest and hope it can help others. And Jennarrator stop turning me on with a good female ass kicking lol :32 (17): thxs you've been a great influence. Glad I didn't start my cycle yet, would be up sh*t creek. Haha



Anytime brother trust me I’m there right with you!! Mines not alcohol but means the sam thing!! It’s circumstances that gets me down and out and I fail man....helps to read all this so people can help people like us bud!! I’m here for you just know that man!! Anytime anywhere!!!


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## Bullseye Forever (Jan 20, 2018)

You know it’s sad when somebody hast to take a drug to feel normal,and that’s me btw,all the time I feel more live when I took cough meds...it’s a bad disease and it’s hell to quit....I don’t know why I fell off the wagon,but I was clean after my leg was broken for 6 months,here recently I fell off the wagon,just one day I felt bad and Bam!! Then it’s back as it was before I quit....and I need help every day man....so I know what you and others go through!! ...anytime you need to talk but I’m here!!


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## Caballero (Jan 20, 2018)

Bullseye Forever said:


> You know it’s sad when somebody hast to take a drug to feel normal,and that’s me btw,all the time I feel more live when I took cough meds...it’s a bad disease and it’s hell to quit....I don’t know why I fell off the wagon,but I was clean after my leg was broken for 6 months,here recently I fell off the wagon,just one day I felt bad and Bam!! Then it’s back as it was before I quit....and I need help every day man....so I know what you and others go through!! ...anytime you need to talk but I’m here!!


In the last 8 months of sobriety my mind wasn't slowing down. Racing 24/7 and sh*t started to compile upstairs. Mood swings and anger daily and that's without Aas smfh


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## grizzldsealpoacher (Jan 20, 2018)

I'm almost 2 years sober. I don't miss the drink. I've battled addiction all my life. I'm addicted to everything, anything in excess can be a bad thing. I spend my life on a unicycle balancing plates. I am starting to see that I should have joined the circus...


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## Caballero (Feb 17, 2018)

Good morning, hope everyone is doing well. Out on a wknd pass and life is looking up. Been training and eating everything in sight now sitting at 240. Doc's started me on a anxiety med, for the first time ever my brain is not racing I'm at peace. Feels great to be at a calm state of mind. Miss shootin the sh*t here ...keep grinding ya'll !


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## Spongy (Feb 17, 2018)

Caballero said:


> Good morning, hope everyone is doing well. Out on a wknd pass and life is looking up. Been training and eating everything in sight now sitting at 240. Doc's started me on a anxiety med, for the first time ever my brain is not racing I'm at peace. Feels great to be at a calm state of mind. Miss shootin the sh*t here ...keep grinding ya'll !



Thanks for the update brother!  be well!


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## Bullseye Forever (Feb 17, 2018)

Caballero said:


> Good morning, hope everyone is doing well. Out on a wknd pass and life is looking up. Been training and eating everything in sight now sitting at 240. Doc's started me on a anxiety med, for the first time ever my brain is not racing I'm at peace. Feels great to be at a calm state of mind. Miss shootin the sh*t here ...keep grinding ya'll !



Glad for ya Cabby!! Well I fell off the wagon and I’ve been fighting to get back on lately,lots of personal shit brings me down going on with my kids I just can’t figure out,always glad to read were someone is doing well though!!


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## Caballero (Feb 17, 2018)

Bullseye Forever said:


> Glad for ya Cabby!! Well I fell off the wagon and I’ve been fighting to get back on lately,lots of personal shit brings me down going on with my kids I just can’t figure out,always glad to read were someone is doing well though!!


Hang in there brother, tomorrow's a new day..chat soon man.


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## Bullseye Forever (Feb 17, 2018)

Caballero said:


> Hang in there brother, tomorrow's a new day..chat soon man.



Thanks my brother!!


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## gymrat827 (Feb 18, 2018)

I’m on the bus now

Start rehab Monday


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## Caballero (Mar 16, 2018)

One week left....what we learned in class today. :32 (20):


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## gymrat827 (Mar 16, 2018)

gymrat827 said:


> I’m on the bus now
> 
> Start rehab Monday




Only ended up 7 days of it.  Once i saw a doc he asked how the F i ended up in here....??  But man, never seen ppl so fuct up ever before in my life.  

I am in a private spot now, 1-2 days a wk for 90 min.  perfect for me & long term care.  my issue wasnt boz, never been bad on that.  I have a pinched nerve and smoked too much weed....took too many painkillers.

But wow, some dudes would drink 2 monsters each day, smoke 5 cigs during a 15min break (they got 2, so ten in 5hr) and couldnt stop bouncing their leg if you paid em.  Basically just moved one addiction to another.  

But put things into perspective for me.


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## Chump16 (Mar 19, 2018)

Yeah, Caballero, thanks for starting this thread.  I just found it today.  Hang in there and keep battling.

I was in a downward spiral for many years, bottomed out on Oct 13.  So I am five months sober/clean, in a twelve step with Celebrate Recovery and working everyday.  The routine of of lifting, dieting, planning, goal setting has really helped in getting back on track


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## bubbagump (Mar 19, 2018)

That fkn wagon....    I can't stay on it for shit.


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## Bullseye Forever (Mar 19, 2018)

bubbagump said:


> That fkn wagon....    I can't stay on it for shit.



Me either bud! I was on it for 5 months after my accident with my leg,and I fell off right before thanksgiving,and still off it!! It’s rough man!! Mine is cough meds


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## jennerrator (Mar 19, 2018)

Bullseye Forever said:


> Me either bud! I was on it for 5 months after my accident with my leg,and I fell off right before thanksgiving,and still off it!! It’s rough man!! Mine is cough meds



I feel so bad for you and just totally don’t understand it.....because of things that I’m dealing with scare the fuuuck out of me and living a clean life rules, especially at our age....I want an excellent life, there’s no other choice for me because I love my life.

i hope you and others get things together...life is beautiful


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## BrotherJ (Mar 19, 2018)

A few years back had some intense DDI between Xanax and alcohol. Multiple seizures and whatnot - all of it was prescribed for "anxiety". It created a very strong mistrust of the big-pharma/doctor pill industry. Ironically, it did give me the drive to enter the field I'm in now (mental health counseling) - so that's good. Haven't touched any benzo's since. Cut marijuana out too. Still drink occasionally but tapered that back the last few years too as I've started to take progress in the gym more seriouser.


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## Bullseye Forever (Mar 20, 2018)

jennerrator50 said:


> I feel so bad for you and just totally don’t understand it.....because of things that I’m dealing with scare the fuuuck out of me and living a clean life rules, especially at our age....I want an excellent life, there’s no other choice for me because I love my life.
> 
> i hope you and others get things together...life is beautiful



Thanks my dear!! Really helps hearing from you!!


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## Bullseye Forever (Mar 20, 2018)

BrotherJ said:


> A few years back had some intense DDI between Xanax and alcohol. Multiple seizures and whatnot - all of it was prescribed for "anxiety". It created a very strong mistrust of the big-pharma/doctor pill industry. Ironically, it did give me the drive to enter the field I'm in now (mental health counseling) - so that's good. Haven't touched any benzo's since. Cut marijuana out too. Still drink occasionally but tapered that back the last few years too as I've started to take progress in the gym more seriouser.



I think when I ever get back in th gym I can kick mine again hell this broke leg had took its toll on me 9 damn months!! Still in pain


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## Doublewide1 (Dec 21, 2018)

Sober 5 years. My name is Doublewide1 and I’m an alcoholic.


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## gymrat827 (Dec 21, 2018)

Doublewide1 said:


> Sober 5 years. My name is Doublewide1 and I’m an alcoholic.



Welcome boss, this is a place with no judgement what so ever.......You will hear some interesting stories too.....lol


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## Gadawg (Dec 21, 2018)

Never knew this thread existed.  Ill have to read through here when I have some more time.  

I think there is some correlation with overall intensity about passions in life and addiction in general. Seem to see it a lot.


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## Elivo (Dec 21, 2018)

My utmost respect to anyone who has overcome any addiction.

i consider myself very very lucky as I was able to stop drinking and drugs with little effort. Don’t ask me how cause I have no idea. I’m guessing the twins being born had a lot to do with it.


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## bigdog (Dec 21, 2018)

great thread! first time I have read it myself. mad respect fellas! I myself beat my addiction which was food. It came close to taking my life. congrats to all that have overcame whatever addiction you faced. stay focused and humble... life is great!


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## jennerrator (Dec 21, 2018)

Love this thread......glad it’s back!!!!


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## Spongy (Dec 21, 2018)

Doublewide1 said:


> Sober 5 years. My name is Doublewide1 and I’m an alcoholic.



Welcome, my name's Spongy and I'm a sober alcoholic.


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## Bro Bundy (Dec 21, 2018)

I like to smoke crack


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## MonkeyBusiness (Dec 21, 2018)

Bro Bundy said:


> I like to smoke crack



Whose? :32 (20):


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## Gadawg (Dec 21, 2018)

Anybody hear from this caballero dude anymore?  Did he make it?


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## Spongy (Dec 21, 2018)

Gadawg said:


> Anybody hear from this caballero dude anymore?  Did he make it?



He was online a couple weeks ago.  I believe he either went back into treatment or finishing up dealing with some legal issues (Cant remember which).


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## Gadawg (Dec 21, 2018)

It's a bitch man.  Every day it's there.  I wish I could go back and shake that younger me and talk him out of going at it so hard all those years but I never wouldve listened.  Im certain that alcohol is one of the greatest loves I will ever have in my entire life.  People who werent destined for this shit just cant understand it.  

I didnt have any choice to end up here but Im here now with the knowledge and all the ****ing power I can find inside myself. I just look at it like training.  Every day that I say no to that hopelessly addicted part of my brain, I get a little stronger. One day this will all be a good thing that happened.


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## Spongy (Dec 21, 2018)

Gadawg said:


> It's a bitch man.  Every day it's there.  I wish I could go back and shake that younger me and talk him out of going at it so hard all those years but I never wouldve listened.  Im certain that alcohol is one of the greatest loves I will ever have in my entire life.  People who werent destined for this shit just cant understand it.
> 
> I didnt have any choice to end up here but Im here now with the knowledge and all the ****ing power I can find inside myself. I just look at it like training.  Every day that I say no to that hopelessly addicted part of my brain, I get a little stronger. One day this will all be a good thing that happened.



This is very true.  Alcohol addiction was the best/worst thing that has ever happened to me.  I don't care if you've had 30 years or 30 days of sobriety, it's all just a series of 24 hours.

Listen to "starting over" by Macklemore and tell me you don't feel something.


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## MonkeyBusiness (Dec 21, 2018)

Dawg (and everyone struggling w addiction) - I'm sure I can say we are all pulling for you. We believe in you. 
To paraphrase immortal words: success doesn't mean falling down.
Just means getting up one more time than you fall.


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## Lil Ed (Dec 21, 2018)

you don't hear much about those that put up with alcoholics, some alcoholics can be a handful and it takes allot of patience and care to put up with and even to attempt to help certain alcoholics shows allot of care and strength. I have seen alcoholism destroy great man and woman. moderate drinking is just not for everyone.


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## Straight30weight (Dec 21, 2018)

I dated an alcoholic. Oddly enough, I hated her sober. But she had some really bad drunk traits too.


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## Jada (Dec 22, 2018)

Lil Ed said:


> you don't hear much about those that put up with alcoholics, some alcoholics can be a handful and it takes allot of patience and care to put up with and even to attempt to help certain alcoholics shows allot of care and strength. I have seen alcoholism destroy great man and woman. moderate drinking is just not for everyone.



Facts man, my father would drink all the time , be drunk and i would always tell him to slow down... but he wouldn't listen.  Once we came from the seven lakes and the cop pulled him over... took him out the car and made him do some test he failed every single one..  long story short when he was normal the next day i told him... we( family)will never get in this car again if u do this again.  First and last time for that.


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## Spongy (Dec 22, 2018)

Lil Ed said:


> you don't hear much about those that put up with alcoholics, some alcoholics can be a handful and it takes allot of patience and care to put up with and even to attempt to help certain alcoholics shows allot of care and strength. I have seen alcoholism destroy great man and woman. moderate drinking is just not for everyone.



It blows my mind that my wife loved me enough to stay with me.  She amazes me.


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## Beezy (Dec 22, 2018)

Spongy said:


> It blows my mind that my wife loved me enough to stay with me.  She amazes me.



It blows our minds that she still stays with you...

Jk man, congrats on that. 
I was also this fortunate, I should have lost her in my mess and didn’t. Stronger than ever now.


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## Spongy (Dec 22, 2018)

Beezy said:


> It blows our minds that she still stays with you...
> 
> Jk man, congrats on that.
> I was also this fortunate, I should have lost her in my mess and didn’t. Stronger than ever now.



I hear that brother!


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## ccpro (Dec 22, 2018)

Congratulations to all of you who've left alcohol behind!  Wake up with good intentions, go to bed with regret...I know the drill all too well.


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## transcend2007 (Dec 22, 2018)

I believe the reason I've always liked this community is that the great majority of us have compulsive personalities and with that in common we have bond.  This thread shows us that compulsive behaviour can be good or bad based on how we allow it to manifest in our lives.  When we harness it for positive activities like the gym or directed in our careers we tend to far exceed the results of others.  When we allow it to show up in negative ways such as drugs or alcohol it has a equally strong result in the opposite direction.  My addiction has been sex and has lead me to problems with both alcohol and adderall.  It has also cost me 2 marriages and multiple business ventures.  I gave up the escorts and multiple sex partners 2 years ago.  This year I gave up the alcohol and adderall.  Porn is a still a problem and I'll be terminating it in 2019.  I've been giving considerable thought to the subject of addition this year.  The truth is none of can change our compulsive natures.  However, we are in control in where we direct our thought, actions, and energy.  I do not go to meetings or think endlessly about my previous fvck ups ... what I have done is created goals and an accountability processes for directing my compulsive nature.  In other words I'm spending the majority of my time thinking about new better activities and less time hanging out with recovering sex addicts or reliving my previous sins.  I have taken full responsibility for my past actions (I do not blame anyone else for my poor choices).  I have simply made the decision to focus everyday on new positive goals and hold my accountable to moving towards them daily, weekly, and monthly.


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