# wife/gf/BF + annoying = good story



## Cobra Strike (Oct 8, 2012)

So my wife was annoying the shit out of me last night and I was just thinking about it and wanted to hear other people's stories of annoyances from your wife/gf...

What does she do to really get under your skin?


----------



## PillarofBalance (Oct 8, 2012)

I edited the title of your post so Herm wouldn't feel excluded.


----------



## Cobra Strike (Oct 8, 2012)

Lmfao nice...ya I feel bad now, I wasn't thinkin about manhole herm when I made the thread....my bad


----------



## Bro Bundy (Oct 8, 2012)

"why are you always talkin to your juicehead friends" shitttt just cook me my steak lady!


----------



## PillarofBalance (Oct 8, 2012)

Well here is my contribution...

This morning my fiance wakes up, goes downstairs and makes me a pile of oatmeal protein pancakes.  So I ate a pile of them. Then she comes out of the bathroom naked and walks past me upstairs and to the bedroom. So of course I go running up the stairs.  4 pumps and 10 seconds later when I'm done she smiles and we go back downstairs.  Then she hands me a mile long list of shit to do around the house and a grocery list and says I'm going for a run.

I look at her like wtf I wanna go to the gym.  She says after making me breakfast and putting out I should be happy to do all those things...

Now, lets reverse roles.  If I did nice stuff for her, then handed her shit to do and insisted that she should be happy, I'd never get laid again....


----------



## LeanHerm (Oct 8, 2012)

Yeah we could say Im cutting you from the dick and our old ladies would say ok finally. Lol. It's funny how guys do stuff to get laid. Take them places take them shopping all for pussy


----------



## PillarofBalance (Oct 8, 2012)

BigHerm said:


> Yeah we could say Im cutting you from the dick and our old ladies would say ok finally. Lol. It's funny how guys do stuff to get laid. Take them places take them shopping all for pussy



Yeah we're a pretty pathetic species... And all this gear only makes us weaker and more susceptible to it.


----------



## Cobra Strike (Oct 8, 2012)

Ya herm beating off is only cool for so long...then you gotta get the ego boosting pussy! Kinda hard to brag to your buddies about fucking yourself......I said kinda hard, not impossible ;-)


----------



## Shane1974 (Oct 8, 2012)

That whole "can't we just hold and snuggle for once without having sex?" thing. Why? What's the point? My brain just doesn't work that way....especially on cycle. Look, my dear sweet wifey, if we are close, and I can smell you....I am gonna want to fuck.


----------



## coltmc4545 (Oct 8, 2012)

This happened yesterday...

We go to Wal Mart of all fucking places to get 3 things. So we're actually both in a good mood, I'm being my usual sarcastic self and making her laugh which she loves btw. She wants to be a roller derby girl for Halloween. I'm like cool but you can't skate plus you'll be drunk and I'm not carrying your drunk ass around on roller skates all night. So anyways, we look at roller skates, I tell her the price of the adults which are $40. She sai no they're $30. I said no those are the child sizes. She says "I could probably fit in those." I said Taylon, her 11 year old daughter, can't fit in those what makes her think she could? Then it came, she popped off at the mouth and said I had a bad attitude and was being mean. I paused and looked at her and said what the fuck are you talking about?!? She said "you're being mean and have a bad attitude." Then she started rubbing my back so I don't her don't fucking touch me and she just got her bad attitude she thought I had and I walked off.

Usually it's shit like that. She likes to pop off at the mouth. Like tell me to "get the fuck out of MY house!" when we fight. Last time she said that she left and so I started packing my shit. She came back and asked me where I thought I was goin. I told her since it was HER house I was getting all MY shit out, she could pay all HER bills, and fix all the shit that goes wrong in HER house and that she could take care of HER kids since everything's hers when she's mad. Needless to say she started crying and apologizing and begged me not to leave.


----------



## Jada (Oct 8, 2012)

So yesterday I tell my wife hey let's have sex since the kids r sleeping she tells me uh we can't I say y she says cuz my period comes Tom , I said u c we shouldve had sex twice yesterday to make up for today! She just looked at me like please!


----------



## jennerrator (Oct 8, 2012)

lmao, you guys will never get as much sex as you want so deal with it


----------



## Oenomaus (Oct 8, 2012)

My girl, or was my girl until yesterday evening going through my phone. Don't get in there & complain about what you see...8-l


----------



## DF (Oct 8, 2012)

Shane1974 said:


> That whole "can't we just hold and snuggle for once without having sex?" thing. Why? What's the point? My brain just doesn't work that way....especially on cycle. Look, my dear sweet wifey, if we are close, and I can smell you....I am gonna want to fuck.



Haha...my girl friend was pulling that on me.  "Why can't we just snuggle".  I said listen my dick has a mind all it's own & while we are doing this snuggle thing shits going to get hard.  I have no control over what my dick is doing most of the time.  You should be flattered that after being together for 5 years I'm still attracted to you & want to screw you.  Now cut the crap & get up on that thing....lol


----------



## PillarofBalance (Oct 8, 2012)

Dfeaton said:


> Haha...my girl friend was pulling that on me.  "Why can't we just snuggle".  I said listen my dick has a mind all it's own & while we are doing this snuggle thing shits going to get hard.  I have no control over what my dick is doing most of the time.  You should be flattered that after being together for 5 years I'm still attracted to you & want to screw you.  Now cut the crap & get up on that thing....lol



I've tried that logic... My fiance is 10 years older than me so I've even said "you're lucky I still think you're hot at your age!" and got smacked... 

The other question I have asked her and never get an answer to:  "When we do actually get around to having sex, you love it. So why is it that its so hard to get you to do something you enjoy?"  She can't defeat that logic.


----------



## Live2Train (Oct 8, 2012)

I must be the luckiest bastard alive, because I can get it whenever I want.  I just told her no a few minutes ago.  Keep in mind that my wife is built very well and not some out of shape chick.  I was on the computer and she was just standing over me watching my every move like there is something I'm hiding.  I hate that shit with a passion!  We went in the other room and I told her how she was pissing me off and she said I have problems and that I must be hiding shit.  Then she went down and was going to suck my dick and I told her it wasn't happening.  She told me that I better be expecting to come off of it later tonight before bed.  LOL, and you guys are talking about not getting it.  Damn, I guess I want a little bit of a challenge once in a while.  I'll give her the business tonight though.  I had to take a mean piss before and just wanted her to think I was pissed off at her so she would give me my fucking privacy and back the fuck off.  LOL, I know how to work this shit!


----------



## ccpro (Oct 8, 2012)

If I don't grope, hug, snuggle, fuck, or have a meaningful conversation with my wife every day, she is convinced there is someone else and telling me "don't let the door hit you on the way out"!  I'm like wtf just happened, can't I just sit on here?  I can pound that shit hard all weekend, come the week "your so distant", what's wrong, something's wrong, something's not right.  Fuck ME, chill out bitch!!!!  Oh yeah, "why are on that steroid site all the time"?  lol....


----------



## PillarofBalance (Oct 8, 2012)

ccpro said:


> If I don't grope, hug, snuggle, fuck, or have a meaningful conversation with my wife every day, she is convinced there is someone else and telling me "don't let the door hit you on the way out"!  I'm like wtf just happened, can't I just sit on here?  I can pound that shit hard all weekend, come the week "your so distant", what's wrong, something's wrong, something's not right.  Fuck ME, chill out bitch!!!!  Oh yeah, "why are on that steroid site all the time"?  lol....




Did you just complain that you have to have sex daily?


----------



## Big Worm (Oct 9, 2012)

You never have anything to say to me but you sure have a lot to say to all those steroid guys......

The other night one of my buddies came over that she doesnt really like.  He left and I came inside and was being totally normal as far as I could tell, but to her I had an attitude because i was hanging out with him........

Most of the other scenarios you guys have posted have happened too.....What can you do?  Bitches are crazy.


----------



## coltmc4545 (Oct 9, 2012)

Fuck both of you bastards! Lol I have to give back rubs and foot rubs and listen to shit I don't care about and watch Teen mom and keeping up with the fuckdashians and be nice and lovey towards her just to get it once a week.


----------



## Tilltheend (Oct 9, 2012)

Lucky me I don't have one.


----------



## ccpro (Oct 9, 2012)

coltmc4545 said:


> Fuck both of you bastards! Lol I have to give back rubs and foot rubs and listen to shit I don't care about and watch Teen mom and keeping up with the fuckdashians and be nice and lovey towards her just to get it once a week.



Let me elaborate, it doesn't always end with a nut!  She'll complain about not getting any when there is absolutely no opportunity, we have a 3, 9, and 11 year old and homework.  Plus I stay up with her watching mind numbing tv; housewives, kardashians, private practice, blah, blah....and I get up a 5am!  If I fall asleep I'm an asshole and didn't fuck her!  It aint easy brother, they spin it to win it!  But yes, I am lucky to have a cool bitch who 95% of the time is down for sex!...just not anal....damn it!


----------



## Cobra Strike (Oct 9, 2012)

So is funny how this thread has turned into a bitch fest about not getting laid lmao

When I started this thread I was thinking about how my wife gets all ready for bed before I do.....then I get ready and the second I go to get in bed she asks me to take the dog out....shes been in bed for 10 minutes watching tv, Im in my fukin thong and it's 20 degrees out....I told her that if she wants me to take the dog out then ask me before I'm crawling in bed after a long ass day. Nothing about sex lol I'm like l2t...she begs me for it.


Colt...we all know you like teen mom...don't have to lie to kick it brotha


----------



## ccpro (Oct 9, 2012)

PillarofBalance said:


> Did you just complain that you have to have sex daily?



That's fucking hilarious!!!!!  Touche!!!!


----------



## Cobra Strike (Oct 9, 2012)

tilltheend said:


> Lucky me I don't have one.



A gf or a bf? Bahahah


----------



## ccpro (Oct 9, 2012)

Cobra Strike said:


> So is funny how this thread has turned into a bitch fest about not getting laid lmao
> 
> When I started this thread I was thinking about how my wife gets all ready for bed before I do.....then I get ready and the second I go to get in bed she asks me to take the dog out....shes been in bed for 10 minutes watching tv, Im in my fukin thong and it's 20 degrees out....I told her that if she wants me to take the dog out then ask me before I'm crawling in bed after a long ass day. Nothing about sex lol I'm like l2t...she begs me for it.
> 
> ...



Cobra, I feel ya brother.  I'll fall asleep on the couch...wife will wake me up and say come to bed.  I get under the sheets and she sais; did you check the garage, did you take the dogs out, did you get us waters...wtf...bitch you woke me up!  What do you think!!!!


----------



## Big Worm (Oct 9, 2012)

Ok this is awesome.....im sitting here reading this and she comes and sits down next to me and starts looking at what im doing.  She sees the title of this thread up on the tab and says, you need to find a different thread to look at.....  I had just told her a few minutes earlier after she just got home, to leave and come back less chatty lol.......


----------



## 63Vette (Oct 9, 2012)

My life is utopia. My wife is perfect. And NO, I am NOT delusional! 

She never complains, lets me chat on the bro site, injects me where I can't reach, massages me, cooks what I say to cook when I say to cook it, massages me, buys me gifts, washes my car, pays the bills, doesn't want me to work,tells me I am perfect, never yells or complains, wants me to find a hot sexy chick for us to share in a three way, and shaves everything- everyday. 

Well, there is this one thing.... she has started leaking air pretty badly and I can't find the leak and since they don't make that model anymore I am probably going to have to buy a new one.

Yep, life is golden.
Vette


----------



## Live2Train (Oct 9, 2012)

coltmc4545 said:


> Fuck both of you bastards! Lol I have to give back rubs and foot rubs and listen to shit I don't care about and watch Teen mom and keeping up with the fuckdashians and be nice and lovey towards her just to get it once a week.



Now that's fuckin awesome right there bro!  You guys are cracking me up with this shit.  I know man, I'm lucky to most guys standards, but she always seems to catch me when I have to take a shit, piss, tired as hell, or just plain pissed off at her.  We fuck quite often though and have even fucked in the female locker rooms sauna at the gym.  I can honestly get it whenever I want it and even when I don't want it.  For some reason when you can do it whenever you want, you don't seem to want it as often as when you don't get it often.  I know you guys think I'm full of shit, but I'm not.  It might have something to do with the fact that we don't have kids too.


----------



## PillarofBalance (Oct 9, 2012)

63Vette said:


> My life is utopia. My wife is perfect. And NO, I am NOT delusional!
> 
> She never complains, lets me chat on the bro site, injects me where I can't reach, massages me, cooks what I say to cook when I say to cook it, massages me, buys me gifts, washes my car, pays the bills, doesn't want me to work,tells me I am perfect, never yells or complains, wants me to find a hot sexy chick for us to share in a three way, and shaves everything- everyday.
> 
> ...



lmfao I was waiting for the other shoe to drop


----------



## 63Vette (Oct 9, 2012)

PillarofBalance said:


> Did you just complain that you have to have sex daily?



I would have paid good money to see your fiance walk up behind you and see you making this double dick cartoon! LMFAO!!! Might be a bit tough to explain!

Funny Shit!
Vette


----------



## St0ked (Oct 9, 2012)

This. Thread. Is. Amazing.


And to think I'm about to get into another relationship......


----------



## Omegareign (Oct 9, 2012)

The most annoying thing my wife does is move shit around.  She's a clean freak is always reorganizing, I have to go a hunt every week looking for my stash.  So freaking annoying, but at least she's not a slob.     Also you all have it easy, I work with my wife, we are taking over my parents sign business, talk about testing yourself daily.  We make it work though.


----------



## Georgia (Oct 9, 2012)

I *HATE* when she rushes me. We can take ALLLL the time in the world for her stuff...but she has to rush me when I'm shopping for myself something or doing something that I want to do. Pisses me off so bad!


----------



## PillarofBalance (Oct 9, 2012)

63Vette said:


> I would have paid good money to see your fiance walk up behind you and see you making this double dick cartoon! LMFAO!!! Might be a bit tough to explain!
> 
> Funny Shit!
> Vette



I get a comment every time I'm on the computer... She thinks everyone on SI is a juice head, but everyone over at the den where she posts, they're cool! And everyone here with their avi's of naked people... I get in trouble for those too. She saw Four1Thr33's avi and was like "oh so thats why you like this board"...


----------



## Georgia (Oct 9, 2012)

Say...I just like to stare at Georgia's Peaches all day


----------



## coltmc4545 (Oct 9, 2012)

Now here's another thing she's been popping off about...

Now I'm not only grumpy and obviously want to move out because I don't smile all the fucking time, now I "make her feel guilty for running or going to the gym." WTF?! Are you kidding me? I tell her ass to go run or go to the gym cuz if she doesn't she's a bitch but because I don't have enthusiasm in my voice when she tells me she's going, then I'm making her feel guilty for doing it. This bitch is fucking whacko. 1. I'm not a smiley happy go lucky ball of rainbows and fucking lollipops. Never have been. Never will be. She's just now realizing that I'm not like that?! 2. How the fuck do I make her feel guilty when I'm the one telling her don't worry about the kids, go workout or go run? 

We just got in a fight over $6. I explained to her, she owed me $34, I owed her $40, so I owe her $6. But I also just bought this used vanity for $20 I'm going to completely redo that she said she wanted. Not only that, I have to buy wood filler, sandpaper, and sandpaper for the belt sander, plus paint. I told her that since I was going to do that plus spend my time on my days off refinishing it, then I thought we could call it even. Well after explaining it 3 times, she still didn't understand and I was an asshole and making her feel stupid so I walked off and started mowing. Then she comes out and wants to talk and says she knows I'm miserable and want to move out. It's funny because today I went to the bank to talk to a loan officer about taking out a loan for part of an engagement ring that I won't have saved up by Christmas. If I was miserable and wanted to move out, ya think I would go spend time and talk to a loan officer ya stupid bitch?!?! Fuck me I can't fucking win with women bro. I either fall for porn stars or doped up strippers and have a bunch of chaos, or fall for single mothers that are just as whacko as the pornstars an strippers but without the dope. Fuck my life man.


----------



## 63Vette (Oct 9, 2012)

If God had just put Pussy on a tree.... we would all be rich lumberjacks.

Just Damn.


----------



## Shane1974 (Oct 9, 2012)

coltmc4545 said:


> Now here's another thing she's been popping off about...
> 
> Now I'm not only grumpy and obviously want to move out because I don't smile all the fucking time, now I "make her feel guilty for running or going to the gym." WTF?! Are you kidding me? I tell her ass to go run or go to the gym cuz if she doesn't she's a bitch but because I don't have enthusiasm in my voice when she tells me she's going, then I'm making her feel guilty for doing it. This bitch is fucking whacko. 1. I'm not a smiley happy go lucky ball of rainbows and fucking lollipops. Never have been. Never will be. She's just now realizing that I'm not like that?! 2. How the fuck do I make her feel guilty when I'm the one telling her don't worry about the kids, go workout or go run?
> 
> We just got in a fight over $6. I explained to her, *she owed me $34, I owed her $40*, so I owe her $6. But I also just bought this used vanity for $20 I'm going to completely redo that she said she wanted. Not only that, I have to buy wood filler, sandpaper, and sandpaper for the belt sander, plus paint. I told her that since I was going to do that plus spend my time on my days off refinishing it, then I thought we could call it even. Well after explaining it 3 times, she still didn't understand and I was an asshole and making her feel stupid so I walked off and started mowing. Then she comes out and wants to talk and says she knows I'm miserable and want to move out. It's funny because today I went to the bank to talk to a loan officer about taking out a loan for part of an engagement ring that I won't have saved up by Christmas. If I was miserable and wanted to move out, ya think I would go spend time and talk to a loan officer ya stupid bitch?!?! Fuck me I can't fucking win with women bro. I either fall for porn stars or doped up strippers and have a bunch of chaos, or fall for single mothers that are just as whacko as the pornstars an strippers but without the dope. Fuck my life man.



I tell you how it works in my house. *I *go to work for 50-60 hours a week, get a paycheck, and it is direct deposited into *OUR* joint checking account. I get a really great gift for Christmas, then I get the bill for it in January. I like the idea that my wife was able to quit work, and making all the cheese puts me in a unique position of power. Plus she has something that I really like a lot.


----------



## toneloc (Oct 9, 2012)

O boy colt urs sounds so much like my story except when I start saying the same things u say she tells me get the.fuk out then or told me shes my ex she also has 3 crazy ass sisters


----------



## DarksideSix (Oct 9, 2012)

Well i can't complain about sex cause my GF gives it to me anytime, she wants it as much as i do!   You wanna know what really irritates me?  My GF is a cop, so she instinctivly thinks like a cop and it bugs the shit out of me.  She knows about my gear and when i'm on cycle and is cool with that whole thing as long as i'm careful, and i'm 100% honest with her about everything, but sometimes she just looks way too far into things, like she's way over analyizing shit and it bugs the hell outa me.


----------



## 63Vette (Oct 9, 2012)

DarksideSix said:


> Well i can't complain about sex cause my GF gives it to me anytime, she wants it as much as i do!   You wanna know what really irritates me? * My GF is a cop, so she instinctivly thinks like a cop and it bugs the shit out of me.  She knows about my gear* and when i'm on cycle and is cool with that whole thing as long as i'm careful, and i'm 100% honest with her about everything, but sometimes she just looks way too far into things, like she's way over analyizing shit and it bugs the hell outa me.



Fuck. Don't have a bad breakup with her bro.... she has you by those little dried up ballz!


----------



## jennerrator (Oct 10, 2012)

I am loving these stories...keep em coming...

oh and colt, if you marry that chick YOU will be the whacko...just sayin


----------



## 63Vette (Oct 10, 2012)

We need biggerben in here.... you guys would NEVER believe his shit.... he can top us all... seriously !!!


----------



## ccpro (Oct 10, 2012)

Rainbows and lollipops....la...la...la...la..lala...lala>


----------



## Christosterone (Oct 10, 2012)

If I bring home beer she doesn't like to drink, she throws it away...so I pulled a whoops on her, and it never happened again


----------



## ccpro (Oct 10, 2012)

Christosterone said:


> If I bring home beer she doesn't like to drink, she throws it away...so I pulled a whoops on her, and it never happened again



Now that's a shame!


----------



## Christosterone (Oct 10, 2012)

Ya, acted like she threw away my keystone other night, she likes bud light, too cool for keystone I guess. she really ended up hiding it, but I didn't find that out till later that week, needless to say it was on...anal sex night at the house


----------



## Oenomaus (Oct 14, 2012)

So my girl that went through my phone decided to stay. But she still rides my nerves, she always wants to talk about her feelings. The only feeling I have is in the tip of my dick. Shush & fix my sammich.


----------

