# Mediocre's New Journey



## mediocre1645 (Jul 29, 2022)

Most of ya'll might not remember me. I started at UG a couple years ago (maybe, I don't remember). My only member journal was mostly documenting a cut I did for a new years 3 month transformation challenge. I clearly won and got ripped off because it was painfully obvious that I had done this before and am on roids from the pics. 
	

		
			
		

		
	



Near the end of that cut I tore my bicep, had that operated on, then had back surgery later that year, and pretty much quit posting. I've stayed fairly trim, probably about 2-4% higher bf than that sexy pic above. 

This journal might get deep, and weird, not sure what kinda crowd UG really is. Anyways, I've suffered from depression for a while, I was always a drinker but about 5 years ago or more I basically became an alcoholic. I could stay sober enough for these really dedicated cuts, but that was about it. I had taken pills on and off for a long time, and decided that taking kratom was a good idea. I may be a pussy, but I became physically addicted to that shit after a few years of regular use. It is a powdered leaf that has opiates in it, sold as really safe, non addicting, kind of like caffeine equivalent. About 5.5 months ago I finally got sober on the booze, and knew I needed to kick the kratom but was just taking it one thing at a time. Fast forward to two weeks ago I got into a therapist/ARNP that I had been in a long line for and told her about the kratom and on the one hand she said "you REALLY dont want to get dope sick so taper down your dose" and on the other she prescribed me naltrexone for "cravings". Apparently this lady is a fucking idiot because I took naltrexone that night and went into what is called precipitated withdrawals. It was by far the worst night of my life. 5 minutes after taking one, I started to feel weird. Started sweating, and I mean SWEATING. A rush of anxiety hit every cell in my body. Every single hair on my body was up like a rabid dog, i was nearly hypothermic, nearly went into seizures. I took a scalding how 15 minute shower and was shivering the whole time. Then laid down and in about 20 minutes soaked through 5 towels and 2 giant comforters with sweat. I have experienced withdrawals before after skipping a dose of kratom, but never anything like this. The next morning I felt a bit better, and took small doses of kratom that day to try to get some relief, thinking I should now go ahead and taper my usage...

I hadn't planned to quit right away but after suffering through those acute withdrawals and giving it more though, I knew it would be a wasted opportunity not to try and quick cold turkey. So I did. 15 days clean today. I also started AA (a few NA meetings but I'm more worried about my alcohol sobriety than kratom right now) and have decided to put a big focus on other ways to help my mental state (meditation, more yoga, supplements that are supposed to heal addict brain chemistry over time, etc). For the next month (currently on like day 11 or 12), for every day, my plan is to: go to a meeting, do something for my physical health, do something for my mental health. The bar on the physical/mental stuff is really low since I'm still kind of suffering some withdrawal symptoms. I also decided it would be a good idea to go on a diet preparing for some travel and hunting this year which was a good decision for a few days, but I gotta say I'm fucking miserable now.

I know someone will likely say something like "if you're an addict you shouldnt roid". I'm very analytical, I knew I was an alcoholic long before it got bad, I just knew I wasn't ready and in a place to stop and that if I tried, I'd just get worse. The things that make my life unmanageable are booze and kratom, so thats what I focus my sobriety on. Roids certainly give one a feeling of confidence and sense of comfort, but I've been in the game long enough that I barely notice those positives and can plan out my usage and stick to it. Same goes for weed, although I have cut back SIGNIFICANTLY over the last week without really any effort. I can't really explain that one, but it seems like a good thing.

I don't know what this log is about. I know that I have been in pain for a long time, mostly my fault, and that I like this place and assume there are others going through similar issues. Maybe documenting some of my journey to a healthy mind and decent physical shape can help some of you...and it will be therapeutic for me as well and give me a place to document what I'm doing and get suggestions. I hope this can provide something to the community, thanks for listening and following along if you choose to do so.


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## eazy (Jul 29, 2022)

mediocre1645 said:


> 15 days clean today


congrats


mediocre1645 said:


> others going through similar issues


yep


mediocre1645 said:


> I clearly won and got ripped off


I remember when they robbed you


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## Yano (Jul 29, 2022)

Howdy , not sure where  this log is going either but i'm following along with ya. 

Glad ya found your way home.


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## eazy (Jul 29, 2022)

double post.


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## CohibaRobusto (Jul 29, 2022)

Down for the group therapy workout session. Lol...what's up man I remember you. AA works, keep it up.

I originally went to rehab in july of '99, I was an iv heroin addict. I had a few relapses then got sober in AA and put together 15 years of continuous sobriety.

I relapsed briefly on prescription drugs in 2015, but got back in aa quick and now have 6 years clean and sober again. It can be done. I have the most addictive personality out of anyone I know.

Feel free to pm me if you want to talk recovery stuff.

I'll follow your journal here.


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## CJ (Jul 30, 2022)

I remember you. Welcome back, and I'm rooting for ya!!!


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## IronSoul (Jul 30, 2022)

Welcome back man, I remember ya. Glad to see you back and battling the issues for sobriety. Definitely support you. I’ll be following along. Good luck brother


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## mediocre1645 (Aug 3, 2022)

Thanks for the kind words and following along everyone. I appreciate the words Cohiba - I feel very lucky the situation I'm in right now. I will likely reach out thank you. I always used to say "I don't have an addictive personality"...cuz I could get hammered one day and not the next, do some blow or pills and not re-up. At that time, that was true...but I was a kid. It's crazy how life can change you, both for the good and the bad. 

Sobriety update: staying sober, been going to a lot of zoom meetings. Local meetings are just too fucking hot and I am a sweaty mofo. It's been triple digit heat where I'm at and there is only so much a window unit can do in some old shitty trailer-like building. Combine that with the anxiety and I really do not enjoy them right now. I have also not really connected with any groups I've been to, so I'm trying out different zoom meetings. I have found some solid ones. I Hope to find a home group or whatever and get a sponsor there. I had meant to start meditating really consistently but I haven't. I've missed a few days of my "mental health activity" but haven't let it get me down. Doing something physical and doing a meeting every day are a higher priority for me right now.

Lifting/Diet/Etc: A few days into the opiate recovery I started dieting...and I also went on a short DNP run. Probably lost about 2" bf, probably sitting at 10% or so. I use a home gym that's out in my shop. It's really badass but I haven't put a window unit in there, so I have mostly been doing dumbell work and bodyweight stuff in the house. I'll throw a child on my back and do pushups where I put my hands on dumbbells sitting on their sides so I can get really good stretch, got a pullup bar, lunges, etc. Also been pretty consistent with yoga or at least some stretching nearly every day. Yesterday I grew a pair and it was only 102 so I went out to the shop gym and since this is a lifting site, I suppose I should put down workouts:

8-2-22:
Bench (slight incline): 6 x 5 x 225, 265, 255, 255, 255 (4), 185 (12)
Bent Rows: 6 x 8 x 115, 155, 175, 175, 165, 115 (12)
DB SP: 3 x 8 x 50's, 45's, 45's (felt pretty awkward - haven't done overhead stuff for a while)
DB Curls: 3 x 8 x 30's
Grip Holds: 3 x 45s, 30s, 30s, x 185, 185, 135


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## Signsin1 (Aug 3, 2022)

Good luck on your road to recovery.. Exercise and a good diet is the be the best form of therapy, physically and mentally. That looks like what you are doing now

I was a pill addict.. 30mg oxys (people called them blu's) that got up to sometimes a $400 day habit  that i was taking to kill my stress and anxiety from being a business owner in my mid 20s..I ended up running it into the ground about 10 years ago.. Tried all the suboxone plans and lorezapam shit the doctors gave me..all that shit just prolonged the problem and was addicting too.. I ended up going cold turkey..it was hell but i did it.

Long story short, Ive been able to climb back up from rock bottom.. Im back to owning and running a successful little business again.. Im in my best shape since my early 20s (im 43 now).. All thanks to hard ass work, training and a good consistent diet. Its all about consistency and not giving in.. I found the best person to help me is ME.

Tell yourself when in doubt that each day is better than the last..If you make a mistake and fuck up, get up and keep moving forward

Good luck..Ill follow your log


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## mediocre1645 (Aug 3, 2022)

Signsin1 said:


> Good luck on your road to recovery.. Exercise and a good diet is the be the best form of therapy, physically and mentally. That looks like what you are doing now
> 
> I was a pill addict.. 30mg oxys (people called them blu's) that got up to sometimes a $400 day habit  that i was taking to kill my stress and anxiety from being a business owner in my mid 20s..I ended up running it into the ground about 10 years ago.. Tried all the suboxone plans and lorezapam shit the doctors gave me..all that shit just prolonged the problem and was addicting too.. I ended up going cold turkey..it was hell but i did it.
> 
> ...


Thank you! Sounds like you've been through it. One of the feelings I struggle with is that I kept it together pretty good...like when i go to meetings and hear people with real, serious trauma and associated addiction(s), I feel like I need to go back and be more of a fuckup to qualify lol. I know that's crazy, but also not an uncommon feeling.

I didn't really understand the knee jerk reaction to get me on naltrexone and even suboxone was proposed to me...at least in my situation I think that would have been a very bad idea and just drawn out fixing some of my issues and brain chemistry. Good luck to you and thanks again!


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## Signsin1 (Aug 3, 2022)

mediocre1645 said:


> Thank you! Sounds like you've been through it. One of the feelings I struggle with is that I kept it together pretty good...like when i go to meetings and hear people with real, serious trauma and associated addiction(s), I feel like I need to go back and be more of a fuckup to qualify lol. I know that's crazy, but also not an uncommon feeling.
> 
> I didn't really understand the knee jerk reaction to get me on naltrexone and even suboxone was proposed to me...at least in my situation I think that would have been a very bad idea and just drawn out fixing some of my issues and brain chemistry. Good luck to you and thanks again!


Its not crazy.. Id feel the same way being in rooms with other addicts..Especially if they were ordered by a court to go there and had no desire to get better

Maybe see if you can get one-on-one counseling if its making you feel that way?

Yes, the Doctors like to keep you coming back..Money in their pockets.. I was never asked if i was dieting correctly or exercising..That should have been one of the first questions asked. i knew fairly quick they didnt give two fucks.

Good luck in your challenges.. Crush it and be who you know you can be.


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## IronSoul (Aug 3, 2022)

Hey brother, good to hear you’re doing the meetings and making them a priority. I hate to hear that you haven’t really connected with anyone in them yet. It definitely helps when you do. I’ve done IOP for alcohol at the VA and it was great. We all kind of instantly connected being veterans, so we had that advantage over other groups. If you’re a veteran, I would definitely look into what your loc VA has. It should be called the CATS program. They have a lot of different things within that program. Definitely keep up on those mental health activity days. Self care is imperative, especially during recovery. You deserve things for yourself and to take a break from the rest of life. Solitude at times, has often been my best teacher and bringer of peace. I’m rooting for you strong man. Proud of you. Keep getting after it and those weights will be therapeutic and a huge part of your overall success. They have saved me multiple times from life and shit. 


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## Stickler (Aug 3, 2022)

mediocre1645 said:


> Most of ya'll might not remember me. I started at UG a couple years ago (maybe, I don't remember). My only member journal was mostly documenting a cut I did for a new years 3 month transformation challenge. I clearly won and got ripped off because it was painfully obvious that I had done this before and am on roids from the pics.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Brother, we're in a similar boat!  This place has been a saving grace for me.

1st of all, your second picture is better cut than I EVER have been. What I can say, is that my log is similar to yours. I've been to rehab, IOP, I have AA homegrown, etc.  Got my adhd under control which helped my mental state and my anxiety to literally zero. Good things have been coming my way, from doing good things and trying to get in the service of others as much as I can. 

I'm not an AA thumper, and feel like there's nothing wrong with it.  But, there's a LOT to be said from those (some of my family who I've witnessed) live happy successful sober lives and been sober for 35+ years!

I don't have a link to my log off hand but look for Stickler's Rebirth Log.  It's like you said it, my journey back to a good life through work, consistency, some luck, new found discipline, and prayer (which isn't in the log).  I'll do however, document every mental thought from the time I walk in the gym to I walk out. 

I also have my current stats with progress,  my diet accountability,  along with now my attempt to quit smoking. 

It shows the good, the bad, the ugly,  and everything in-between. It has helped me tremendously,  and the guys here as you may already know, can be tough. But if you're really putting in the work, you get all the support you need (kind of like AA).

I'M FOLLOWING!  Everyone loves a good come back story!  You got this. If you need anything feel free to send me a message to my inbox. Also, if you're so inclined, check out my log. Then you can see what your in for as well as the kind of support you can expect.


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## iGone (Aug 3, 2022)

Good luck man, following along!


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## Stickler (Aug 3, 2022)

mediocre1645 said:


> I'll throw a child on my back and do pushups ...
> 
> 8-2-22:
> Bench (slight incline): 6 x 5 x 225, 265, 255, 255, 255 (4), 185 (12)
> ...


Firstly,  thank God you have a bunch of random kids to grab when needed.  All mine escaped.  Jk.

Have you been lifting consistently since your surgery, meaning once you could?  You bench is still working strong.


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## mediocre1645 (Aug 4, 2022)

Signsin1 said:


> Maybe see if you can get one-on-one counseling if its making you feel that way?


I do see a counselor, and am still seeking a sponsor. This issue isn't a big one for me...honestly my biggest issue with sobriety is that so many important moments and/or enjoyable activities were associated with alcohol. Entertaining friends and making big dinners, hunting, all those little milestones I cheers to my dad. He died from alcohol related issues about 1.5 years ago. We used to make moonshine together, he was a pipefitter and the stills he built are these huge mementos I had planned to keep and give to my boys...wtf do I do with that shit now lol. Also, the urge to want to have a beer or expensive bourbon with my boys when they down their first deer or graduate or get married...these are the things that hit hard for me right now. Ultimately, learning to live life without alcohol or whatever drug enhances the situations I'm in.


IronSoul said:


> Hey brother, good to hear you’re doing the meetings and making them a priority. I hate to hear that you haven’t really connected with anyone in them yet. It definitely helps when you do. I’ve done IOP for alcohol at the VA and it was great. We all kind of instantly connected being veterans, so we had that advantage over other groups. If you’re a veteran, I would definitely look into what your loc VA has. It should be called the CATS program. They have a lot of different things within that program. Definitely keep up on those mental health activity days. Self care is imperative, especially during recovery. You deserve things for yourself and to take a break from the rest of life. Solitude at times, has often been my best teacher and bringer of peace. I’m rooting for you strong man. Proud of you. Keep getting after it and those weights will be therapeutic and a huge part of your overall success. They have saved me multiple times from life and shit.


Thanks man those words mean a lot to me. Not a veteran, but I am finding some good online meetings and I'm honestly connecting with folks there more than I thought I would. Once the weather cools, I will branch out to more local meetings too. Any other suggestions for those "mental health activities"?


Stickler said:


> Brother, we're in a similar boat!  This place has been a saving grace for me.
> 
> 1st of all, your second picture is better cut than I EVER have been. What I can say, is that my log is similar to yours. I've been to rehab, IOP, I have AA homegrown, etc.  Got my adhd under control which helped my mental state and my anxiety to literally zero. Good things have been coming my way, from doing good things and trying to get in the service of others as much as I can.
> 
> ...


Thanks for following man I'm really taken back by how many folks here (and everywhere) resonate with my own experiences. The ADHD...man this is so weird. My wife got on ADHD meds shortly before I got off opiates and has been struggling a bit getting the timing and dosing right. Then on a meeting last night multiple ladies were talking about ADHD and how it can contribute to substance abuse. I'm going to give myself a while to "level out", but I do have some ADHD symptoms and if they continue through sober living I'm going to look more into it. I was so ANTI-AA, for mostly the associations with religion or specifically Christianity. After my first meeting and the knockout realization that it doesn't have to be about that shit, I was so upset with myself for putting it off so long. I still am not quite into it like I see a lot of people, but I'm going to keep going. Your log sounds a lot like mine (previous ones and this one) - introspective and analytical, I'll give it a follow thank you!


iGone said:


> Good luck man, following along!


Thank you!


Stickler said:


> Firstly,  thank God you have a bunch of random kids to grab when needed.  All mine escaped.  Jk.
> 
> Have you been lifting consistently since your surgery, meaning once you could?  You bench is still working strong.


Mine aren't quite big enough...one is about 45 lb the other is about 38 lb. I'm going to teach them to stack on for pushups lol. Either would be a good pullup weight if they could hang on without giggling and making a game of falling off.

So I had bicep surgery in spring of 2021. Turkey season was coming up in a few weeks and you can bet your ass I wasn't missing that, so I hit it pretty hard for recovery. I camped and hiked a ton that season (and downed a ton of cheap vodka...ah those were the days)...anyways I ended up putting down two birds with not a hint of any bicep issues. I had a "strongman" buddy who is not a hunter that I had asked if I would be ok to shoot a gun in X number of weeks. He said no way...pussy.

Then I had back surgery that summer...with elk season coming up lol. So I trained hard again, weighted lunges, hiking, GHRs, back raises, put down probably 50 miles during season, most of which carrying a 50 lb pack. There were a few hikes in there for the books. Back didn't feel great but got through it with no kills. I have not been lifting consistently since. I bet I've benched less than 10 times since last fall. Those kid-weighted pushups must have decent carryover lol.


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## IronSoul (Aug 4, 2022)

I love to go outdoors for some of the mental health stuff. Hiking or just get out in the woods away from the world. Massages are one thing I started getting regularly and they do wonders for me mentally and physically. Reading in cool places have been something I do as well. There’s this little bistro in my town right next to a huge pond and I’ll go there by myself sometimes and eat and read waterside. It’s the little things brother. 


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## mediocre1645 (Aug 4, 2022)

8-3-22:
Lunges in dog poop filled backyard: 4 x 20 x 45 lb DBs (fairly short rests)
Alternating GHR/Back raise: 4 x 12 x bw (so one GHR, one back raise, repeat 5x)
Hanging leg raises (hang on to PU bar, raise legs): 5 x 8

I have been hiking and doing some stuff like this in my new hunting boots. I don't know if any of yall care but I LOVE em, Danner High Grounds. If the waterproofing lasts and they make  it through more than 2 years, I'll be going back. Bout to go hike with the wife, thanks everyone!


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## IronSoul (Aug 4, 2022)

mediocre1645 said:


> 8-3-22:
> Lunges in dog poop filled backyard: 4 x 20 x 45 lb DBs (fairly short rests)
> Alternating GHR/Back raise: 4 x 12 x bw (so one GHR, one back raise, repeat 5x)
> Hanging leg raises (hang on to PU bar, raise legs): 5 x 8
> ...



Good work. I can only imagine how much extra work the dog poop added to the lunges to avoid it lol. That’s dedication. That’s awesome, keep doing all that. Danner makes some incredible boots. Enjoy the hike with your wife! 


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## Stickler (Aug 4, 2022)

IronSoul said:


> Massages are one thing I started getting regularly and they do wonders for me mentally and physically.



Me love you long time.


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## IronSoul (Aug 4, 2022)

Stickler said:


> Me love you long time.



Hahahaha. Gotta tip good for that. 


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## mediocre1645 (Aug 6, 2022)

Did an hour of intermediate yoga yesterday, was good. It is really crazy what opiates can do to your brain...and equally as crazy is how we are built to heal. One of the mantras I've written down (a long list I've texted to myself but not yet really put down anywhere else) is something along the lines of "if you aren't dead, you can change/heal". Obviously withdrawals suck, but just the anxiety IN MY SKIN and these big flashes of anxiety I constantly had, both while heavy into use and eventually less so after I got clean...that is mostly gone. My shits still aren't quite right, my brain still isn't quite right, but there's so much light at the end of the tunnel right now. I still have some nighttime binge eating issues but honestly, if I"m working out like I have been, I think I can probably maintain my current bf level.

Another short rant about something that bothers me. My wife and I are great together. But it seems like when one of us is happy, the other is not. I worry a lot about this like it must be some kind of major underlying issue. Example: when I was in the pit post addiction withdrawal, she was mostly amazing. Then I had a few great days in a row and said to her as much...that day she decided to quit smoking weed and got extremely unhappy and irritable. I have stayed relatively happy (not something I could have done on the drink) and she has stayed relatively unhappy, pointing out things I'm not doing right and what not. I'm sure we all have a little of this in our relationship. I'm not going to say anything, just observe and be there for her. It is definitely something I will bring up at our next couples session though.

The heat won't be too terrible (and the heat is sooo much more bearable than when I was having WDs), maybe I should go for a run today....or maybe make the wife happy and bring the family kayaking...that ordeal will be suuuuure to fix her irritability (sarcasm...i can imagine her completely blowing a gasket getting three watercraft and two heathens in and out of a river, can't hurt to try!). Cheers boys


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## CohibaRobusto (Aug 7, 2022)

Good for y'all doing couples therapy. My wife and I have done it off and on for like 10 years. It's amazing, really helps our relationship.

She likes all the kayaking, paddleboarding stuff too. So I try to do it with her when I can. We gave up on bringing the grouchy kids with us when we go.


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## mediocre1645 (Aug 8, 2022)

It's so silly that such a low effort thing like going to talk to some person with your SO can make such a difference. It's not all it takes to keep a marriage whole, but it sure helps.

8-7-22: went out in the 100 degree weather and did 20 minutes HIIT. 50 yard hill sprints (walking back). My back had been hurting a bit, I think from doing daily yoga of all things, and those sprints were putting quite a bit of pressure on it. They also just sort of hurt my entire body lmao. I haven't done any high impact stuff in ages so going straight to sprints probably wasn't wise.


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## mediocre1645 (Aug 19, 2022)

Sup with it yall. Let's see, Monday I benched...I think I did 8 reps and got up to 255, along with some pullups and a bunch of other small stuff. Tuesday I hiked. Wednesday I did this bodyweight lower body workout on YT and I am F-ing SORE.

Started cutting again at the beginning of this week. I have an international trip near beaches in late September and I'd like to be pretty slim for that, and in good shape for elk season after that. I'd like to get to ~8% bf by mid september and then just hold there but we'll see what happens. 

Finally found a few meetings I like (zoom). I've got different but regular meetings set for a few days of the week. Sundays is the yoga one, Mondays is a secular one that I have decided to secretary, and Thursdays will be this relationships one if they continue to have it.


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## IronSoul (Aug 19, 2022)

Sounds like a lot of good things are happening and in your life. That anxiety is the worst and the transition is hard, but always stay the course, brother. It will all come in time and you’ll love it more. You’re doing great so far and I’m glad the therapy is helping your relationship. Love is always worth fighting for, good for you. Looks like you still have some pretty good strength in you, that’s great to build from. 


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## mediocre1645 (Aug 23, 2022)

^ thanks man. We need more therapy than wer're getting, but every bit helps lol.

8-19-22: quick circuit with child weighted pushups, pullups, and maybe some hanging leg raises for abs.
8-20-22: ?
8-21-22: Gnarly hour long circuit
8-22-22: One hour hike and some stretching

Not sure what I'll do today, either bench/pullups/etc or a HIIT cardio. Depends on how blazing hot it is outside. On that Friday we went over to our neighbors house to swim for the first time (I live in a SMALL neighborhood if you can even call it that...a group of 10 houses on the south side of an agricultural "mountain"). They are mormons and have been asking us to come over for ages so we were a little worried they were going to "pitch" us. That didnt' happen, and we didnt' even get raped. They are like the nicest most normal ppl I know. They will be out of town for a while and I'm going to start swimming for cardio over there, looking forward to it.


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## mediocre1645 (Sep 2, 2022)

Things are going pretty decent here. Still cutting on low dose test, low dose tren, and DNP (500 crystal, adding a pill or two of 100 mg powder once every couple days to get a little kick). If I can string together a few days of not binging before bed I can crack 10% bf and then ill probably call it quits on cutting and just seek to maintain until elk season and get in good shape on higher cals. Workouts have been great, albeit it has been taking a lot of dragging myself around to get workouts done. I really only lift for upper body, and have been doing HIIT lower body workouts (mostly watching this goddess: https://www.youtube.com/c/growingannanas).

8-15-22: 
Bench Press: 4 x 8 x 205, 235, 255, 245
Pullups: 4 x 8 x bw
Ab Roller (on knees): 4 x 12-15
Finished with some grip holds

8-24-22: 
Bench Press: 4 x 10 x 205, 235, 255 (8), 225 (8)
Pullups: 5 x 9, 9, 8, 8, 6 x bw (switching over/under each set)
Ab stuff, grip holds, and chest flys with band

8-29-22:
Bench Press: 5 x 3 x 255, 275, 300, 300, 300
Pullups: 5 x 5-6 x 30 lb backpack
Abs, curls, light shoulders, chest flys, back flys, and some other band work

9-1-22:
Close Grip BP: 4 x 8 x 225, 255, 255, 235 (6)
Rows: 5 x 8 x 165
FA Curls: 4 x 8 x 50's, Rev FA Curls: 4 x 8 x 50
Hammer Curls, light front raise, band pulls, and chest flys with band. 

Have also been doing at least half hour of cardio per day, up to 1.25 hours on non lifting days (only that long for hikes that take that long, elliptical gets awful after 60 min tops)


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## mediocre1645 (Sep 15, 2022)

Things going pretty decent. Finished my DNP run and proceeded to cheat hard for like 5 days lol. Gained a few lbs I'm sure. Been back cutting cals a bit this week and will probably continue for another week depending on how I feel. I need to get some really hard hikes in for elk season and I'll probably need some calories to get in enough.

9-5-22:
BP: 4 x 12 x 225 (9 on set 3, 7 on set 4)
Pullups (overhand): 4 x 12, 12, 10, 8.5 x bw
Front Raise to BTB Tri ext: 2 x 8 x 45 (for each raise I do two tri extensions)
EZ Bar Curls: 3 x 12 x 65
Back Flys: 3 x 8 x 35's
Chest Flys: 3 x 10 x 45's

9-13-22 (must have forgotten to write a few days down?):
BTB wrist curls: 5 x 8 x 95, 115, 135, 135, 135
Rev Wrist Curls: 4 x 10 x 55
Back Raise: 4 x 12-16 x bw
GHR Abs: 5 x 8 x bw

9-14-22:
OHP: 4 x 5 x 125, 145, 165, 185 (4)...not bad for not doing these in ages
DB BP: 3 x 10 x 60's, 75's, 90's (14 reps)...also have not done these in years, felt great
Pullups, legs up-ish: 5 x 10 x bw
Light tricep and back work

Fap material: looks like probably 11% or so to me. Thoughts?


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## IronSoul (Sep 15, 2022)

Damn looking good brother! Tell me about your experience with the DNP. I have some and plan to use it soon but also scared to death of the shit. 


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## Butch_C (Sep 15, 2022)

Following along. Glad you were able to dig your way out of addiction. Keep strong.


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## Stickler (Sep 15, 2022)

mediocre1645 said:


> Things going pretty decent. Finished my DNP run and proceeded to cheat hard for like 5 days lol. Gained a few lbs I'm sure. Been back cutting cals a bit this week and will probably continue for another week depending on how I feel. I need to get some really hard hikes in for elk season and I'll probably need some calories to get in enough.
> 
> 9-5-22:
> BP: 4 x 12 x 225 (9 on set 3, 7 on set 4)
> ...


Shit. I'd be happy with that as one hell of a solid base! Looking good man.


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## PZT (Sep 16, 2022)

Looking good man


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## mediocre1645 (Sep 19, 2022)

IronSoul said:


> Damn looking good brother! Tell me about your experience with the DNP. I have some and plan to use it soon but also scared to death of the shit.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk



I don't know what to say about DNP. It has not been a part of any of my epic cuts. The couple times I've taken it, I've gotten something out of it, but i think my biggest issue is the cravings. I do think if I timed the DNP run better I could keep a stronger will, or there might be other ways to run it I haven't done yet (longer runs, lower dose for example). One good piece of advice I can give, is don't do DNP while coming off an opiate addiction. The sides for both have some overlap and it was a miserable couple weeks lol. 

As far as safety...if you can get 200's and 100's, that is what i would do and what I did for my first run. Then you can really creep up on dose to get where you want to be without going too far (long half life and all that). I could run 600 but was starting to get some rashes (I think this was more of a heat and deodorant sensitivity thing since I only saw it on my armpit). I liked running 400 (500 crystal) and then I would take more for a few days and let off. I'd do this a few times during a 2 week cycle. 

Thanks for the comments all, I wanted to be lower bf for a trip I have coming up in a week, might just go low cals this week.


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## mediocre1645 (Sep 21, 2022)

9-19-22:
Bench: 4 x 6 x 255, 280, 300, 285 (5)
Pullups: 4 x 6 x 30 lb
Forearm Curls: 3 x 10 x 50's
Rev FA Curls: 3 x 10 x 60
Light DB curls, chest flys, and back flys

9-20-22:
45 min hike with 65 lb pack
1-Leg Squat: 3 x 10 x bw with help
1-Leg DL: 3 x 10 x 90


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## IronSoul (Sep 21, 2022)

mediocre1645 said:


> 9-19-22:
> Bench: 4 x 6 x 255, 280, 300, 285 (5)
> Pullups: 4 x 6 x 30 lb
> Forearm Curls: 3 x 10 x 50's
> ...



Damn good day man. Really solid pressing. All of those for 6 except the last set for 5 correct? Good shit man. Damn I bet that hike was exhausting, how was the terrain? 


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## mediocre1645 (Sep 21, 2022)

It's not as strong as I used to be, but I'm pretty happy with my pressing strength. I think I can eek up to 4 plates if I stay consistent. Edit: yes all were for 6 reps except last set.

The hike wasn't too bad actually. I just did two laps partway up this "mountain" in my back yard. 120' up, 120' down, maybe 2.5 miles. I didn't realize my pack weighed that much until I got back. I use this old style pack (no frame) that makes you feel the full weight. My good pack with frame makes 50 lbs feel like 25. Not in the shape I want to be in but will be able to get around the mountains without killing myself.


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## IronSoul (Sep 21, 2022)

mediocre1645 said:


> It's not as strong as I used to be, but I'm pretty happy with my pressing strength. I think I can eek up to 4 plates if I stay consistent. Edit: yes all were for 6 reps except last set.
> 
> The hike wasn't too bad actually. I just did two laps partway up this "mountain" in my back yard. 120' up, 120' down, maybe 2.5 miles. I didn't realize my pack weighed that much until I got back. I use this old style pack (no frame) that makes you feel the full weight. My good pack with frame makes 50 lbs feel like 25. Not in the shape I want to be in but will be able to get around the mountains without killing myself.



Hell yeah man, putting in the work. Those rucks are tough. I remember doing some with the 101st guys and they would pretty much run the whole 12 miles with pack and all. Rucking was never a strong point for my short tree trunk leg having ass lol. 


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## mediocre1645 (Sep 21, 2022)

I was thinking about military folks and rucks the other day on that hike...I never understood how the hell you run with something that big on you. I don't think I have the rhythm or the joints for that lol


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## IronSoul (Sep 21, 2022)

mediocre1645 said:


> I was thinking about military folks and rucks the other day on that hike...I never understood how the hell you run with something that big on you. I don't think I have the rhythm or the joints for that lol



Lol man it’s wild. There’s a reason a lot of us have knee, feet, and back issues. Especially airborne guys


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## mediocre1645 (Nov 29, 2022)

Hey what's up everybody, sorry for falling off the face of the planet. Just too damn busy to keep it together. I have had a really solid fall. Got out a lot to hunt, went to some beautiful places this year muzzleloader elk hunting and made the mistake of doing modern firearm for deer...saw more orange than deer. Still sober, still not loving it lol. Getting by tho. Have been fairly physically active, I had spent most of NOvember on a pretty shitty cut. I'm starting a three week DNP run as of yesterday and going to try and get to about 9% bf by christmas. 

Here's my kind of weekly plan:
Monday: Upper 1 (Bench, Pullups as main lifts), 45 min cardio (60 min week 2, 75 min week 3)
Tuesday: Lower 2, 45/60/75 min cardio
Wednesday: light circuit, 45/60/75 min cardio
Thursday: Upper 2 (shoulder press, DB Press, rows), 45/60/75 min cardio
Friday: Lower 2, 45/60/75 min cardio
Saturday: BJJ
Sunday: 45/60/75 cardio, maybe yoga

Lower workouts depend on my back. Tried squatting a few weeks ago and kind of tweaked it.


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## mediocre1645 (Nov 30, 2022)

25 degrees F outside and this DNP has me clothes soaked through lol. Bout to get tough!


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## mediocre1645 (Dec 5, 2022)

One week of the DNP cycle down. 

Monday: Upper Lift, 45 min elliptical
Tuesday: Lower Lift, 45 min elliptical
Wednesday: Recovery lifting, 45 min elliptical
Thursday: Upper Lift, 30 min elliptical
Friday: Lower Lift, 45 min elliptical
Saturday: BJJ sparring
Sunday: rest

I went in and rolled again today and signed up at a new place, really excited to get back into it. My schedule is crazy tight but I'd like to get in at least 3 days a week. 

I didn't count calories but my diet is nearly the same everyday. Started off around just below 2000 cals, ate quite a bit more the last part of the week. I'm guessing I averaged out around 2200-2300 for the week. I lost about 1% bf. I am going to take it up a notch this week and try to beat that mark.


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