# Eye Contact



## BigGameHunter (Dec 9, 2012)

Im interviewing a guy last week for a mgr postion that came open here.  On paper he is one of the most qualified people Ive ever interviewed.  He will not make eye contact with anyone though even on a hand shake.  Ive noticed this about him, its shifty and makes me not want to trust him.  I hired him but not as a mgr.  If he fixes this then hes mgmt material. 

I dont think hes bad or anything,  I really think its because hes young and so many of the younger people Ive seen often dont have the ability to communicate face to face.  Its all facebook and internet and text. The only younger ones Ive noticed that dont have this flaw are former military.

I know this is a small thing and I present this because it could mean everything when in competition for a job in todays market.


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## theminister (Dec 9, 2012)

My 2 cents worth is that those questionable to be offered positions wih a chance of promotion after three months,


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## SFGiants (Dec 9, 2012)

BigGameHunter said:


> Im interviewing a guy last week for a mgr postion that came open here.  On paper he is one of the most qualified people Ive ever interviewed.  He will not make eye contact with anyone though even on a hand shake.  Ive noticed this about him, its shifty and makes me not want to trust him.  I hired him but not as a mgr.  If he fixes this then hes mgmt material.
> 
> I dont think hes bad or anything,  I really think its because hes young and so many of the younger people Ive seen often dont have the ability to communicate face to face.  Its all facebook and internet and text. The only younger ones Ive noticed that dont have this flaw are former military.
> 
> I know this is a small thing and I present this because it could mean everything when in competition for a job in todays market.



Teach him bro you'll be helping him grow into a man.


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## PFM (Dec 9, 2012)

Bring it to his attention. Remember what culture of pussies he was raised in, people are afraid to OFFEND so they just never said anything to him. If he fixes it, he's teachable and your man, if not he's got some underlying issues.

I've known a few in my life in the same no eye contact thing going on, needless to say none are in my life today. I shit canned them and now VERY weary of anyone that cannot hold eye contact.


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## Hollywood72 (Dec 9, 2012)

Ask him what the fuck he's looking at


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## BigGameHunter (Dec 9, 2012)

PFM said:


> Bring it to his attention. Remember what culture of pussies he was raised in, people are afraid to OFFEND so they just never said anything to him. If he fixes it, he's teachable and your man, if not he's got some underlying issues.
> 
> I've known a few in my life in the same no eye contact thing going on, needless to say none are in my life today. I shit canned them and now VERY weary of anyone that cannot hold eye contact.



Yeah Im giving him a shot.  Ive known some in the past that also didnt make eye contact because they were abused.  I think hes just use to chatting online and stuff.  We will see.


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## 63Vette (Dec 9, 2012)

Good Post Bro.... the under 28(ish) crowd is a different breed. A lot of it is because of the non-face-to-face communication they are used to. Some of it can be due to abuse... keen that you picked up on that.... and some is cultural. I had several black players over the years that when you were reading them the riot act would look away or look straight ahead or look down.... I like the idea of seeing if he can take advice and instruction by hiring him provisionally as well. If he can't take constructive criticism or learn to do things they way you want he isn't your man no matter what he looks like on paper.

We have an entire generation of males that do not know how to shake hands or look you in the eye... we are indeed in the midst of what Woody Hayes described as the feminization of the American Male. By the way, he said that in the 1970's.

Respect,
Vette


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## dk8594 (Dec 9, 2012)

I take it as a sign of a changing culture.  In working with some, Asians for instance,  it can be a sign of disrespect to look someone directly in the eyes.  For young Americans, I'd just take it as a sign of lack of confidence.


Either that or he's feeling like a pussy cause his T numbers are low.


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## LeanHerm (Dec 9, 2012)

63Vette said:


> Good Post Bro.... the under 28(ish) crowd is a different breed. A lot of it is because of the non-face-to-face communication they are used to. Some of it can be due to abuse... keen that you picked up on that.... and some is cultural. I had several black players over the years that when you were reading them the riot act would look away or look straight ahead or look down.... I like the idea of seeing if he can take advice and instruction by hiring him provisionally as well. If he can't take constructive criticism or learn to do things they way you want he isn't your man no matter what he looks like on paper.
> 
> We have an entire generation of males that do not know how to shake hands or look you in the eye... we are indeed in the midst of what Woody Hayes described as the feminization of the American Male. By the way, he said that in the 1970's.
> 
> ...


I'm under 28 and I'm not one of those pussies.  I have feelings too.


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## BigGameHunter (Dec 9, 2012)

63Vette said:


> Good Post Bro.... the under 28(ish) crowd is a different breed. A lot of it is because of the non-face-to-face communication they are used to. Some of it can be due to abuse... keen that you picked up on that.... and some is cultural. I had several black players over the years that when you were reading them the riot act would look away or look straight ahead or look down.... I like the idea of seeing if he can take advice and instruction by hiring him provisionally as well. If he can't take constructive criticism or learn to do things they way you want he isn't your man no matter what he looks like on paper.
> 
> We have an entire generation of males that do not know how to shake hands or look you in the eye... we are indeed in the midst of what Woody Hayes described as the feminization of the American Male. By the way, he said that in the 1970's.
> 
> ...



In his case hes lucky he brings alot to the table even if he isnt mgmt material. Otherwise he wouldnt get this chance. It takes too many resourses to constantly train new people.  He is very detailed and I can use him in another capasity if he doesnt mature a little (dealing with ins adjusters and stuff).  Hes white my crew is half Tejano/Mexican and sad thing is this flaw could cost him about 20K per year. Respect is a big part of their culture.  

Im thinking I will pair him with someone that has this strength but lacks what the prospects strengths are (details) maybe they will learn together and make each other better.


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## 63Vette (Dec 9, 2012)

BigHerm said:


> I'm under 28 and I'm not one of those pussies.  I have feelings too.



There are exceptions grasshopper.

Respect,
Vette


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## AlphaD (Dec 9, 2012)

I have been in sales for over twenty years.  And I tell my kids all the time that technology is great and useful if you make it work for you, not make it work you.  I gave a lecture a couple months ago on this whole topic of technology, lack of respect, handshaking and eye contact, the whole nine yards on it.  Ultimately, we have a serious problem because I see a generation of people that won't be able to be in front (comfortably) of other people, and that is the building block in ALL sales.....my 2 cents I could be wrong #:-S


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## BigGameHunter (Dec 9, 2012)

AlphaD said:


> I have been in sales for over twenty years.  And I tell my kids all the time that technology is great and useful if you make it work for you, not make it work you.  I gave a lecture a couple months ago on this whole topic of technology, lack of respect, handshaking and eye contact, the whole nine yards on it.  Ultimately, we have a serious problem because I see a generation of people that won't be able to be in front (comfortably) of other people, and that is the building block in ALL sales.....my 2 cents I could be wrong #:-S



I would like to hear more about your speeches on this topic. Especially the responses you get.


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## Times Roman (Dec 9, 2012)

BigGameHunter said:


> In his case hes lucky he brings alot to the table even if he isnt mgmt material. Otherwise he wouldnt get this chance. It takes too many resourses to constantly train new people.  He is very detailed and I can use him in another capasity if he doesnt mature a little (dealing with ins adjusters and stuff).  Hes white my crew is half Tejano/Mexican and sad thing is this flaw could cost him about 20K per year. Respect is a big part of their culture.
> 
> *Im thinking I will pair him with someone that has this strength but lacks what the prospects strengths are* (details) maybe they will learn together and make each other better.



This is not a bad strategy.  Ever hear of the "Peter Principle"?  You risk that with this new guy.  So pairing with someone that has the characteristic he lacks will show YOU whether or not he is a leader or a follower.  If he let's the other guy take over and be more dominant, but with fewer skills, then you have your answer right there.  A manager needs to be a leader, not a pushover.

It feels like you've been doing this awhile yourself mate!

Good luck!
---Roman


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## BigGameHunter (Dec 9, 2012)

Never heard of Peter Principal.  Interesting.  Ive got my eye on it.


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## 69nites (Dec 10, 2012)

I'm a tradesman. In your apprenticeship you find a journeyman who will teach you what he knows and help guide you. 

This is absent in white collar work IMO. Plus boys are raised by women these days.


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## Times Roman (Dec 10, 2012)

BigGameHunter said:


> Never heard of Peter Principal.  Interesting.  Ive got my eye on it.



The Peter Principle is a belief that, in an organization where promotion is based on achievement, success, and merit, that organization's members will eventually be promoted beyond their level of ability. The principle is commonly phrased, "employees tend to rise to their level of incompetence." In more formal parlance, the effect could be stated as: employees tend to be given more authority until they cannot continue to work competently. It was formulated by Dr. Laurence J. Peter and Raymond Hull in their 1969 book The Peter Principle, a humorous [1] treatise, which also introduced the "salutary science of hierarchiology."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Principle


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## St0ked (Dec 10, 2012)

Since I am one of these guys that are in the age bracket you are talking about I'm going to give my input. I have noticed guys my age doing this. I always make direct eye contact and feel like a FIRM handshake goes a long ways. There are a lot of pussies being raised nowadays. I guess it is the parents fault. I think my parents have done well about teaching me the fundamentals of engaging with other men and things like that...


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## Big Worm (Dec 10, 2012)

Im 30 and ill look you in the eyes until you look the other way.  Has always worked for me.


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## PillarofBalance (Dec 10, 2012)

Times Roman said:


> The Peter Principle is a belief that, in an organization where promotion is based on achievement, success, and merit, that organization's members will eventually be promoted beyond their level of ability. The principle is commonly phrased, "employees tend to rise to their level of incompetence." In more formal parlance, the effect could be stated as: employees tend to be given more authority until they cannot continue to work competently. It was formulated by Dr. Laurence J. Peter and Raymond Hull in their 1969 book The Peter Principle, a humorous [1] treatise, which also introduced the "salutary science of hierarchiology."
> 
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Principle



That's funny cause my boss is an incompetent moron and is totally unqualified. And his name is Peter. He's also a total cock. A synonym for cock is Peter.


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## Yaya (Dec 10, 2012)

Maybe hes a homophobe


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## losieloos (Dec 10, 2012)

Im 22 and I love my phone everything is on my cellphone, twitter facebook etc.thats how me and my friends spend time with each other. Now that I think about it could be part of a goverment conspiracy.


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## BigGameHunter (Dec 10, 2012)

losieloos said:


> Im 22 and I love my phone everything is on my cellphone, twitter facebook etc.thats how me and my friends spend time with each other. Now that I think about it could be part of a goverment conspiracy.



Awe that was cute...

Now go clean your fuckin room.  I want all those toys taken off the top bunk and put where they go mr.


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## AlphaD (Dec 10, 2012)

BigGameHunter said:


> I would like to hear more about your speeches on this topic. Especially the responses you get.



BGH,  I have the opportunity to talk to newbies in the sales force. Unfortunately, technology as I said before is a blessing or a curse, all depends on how you use it.  My discussion and lectures revolve around the involvement of this in relationship to the Sales Profession, but could be any involvement of any job.  Here the bottom line.  People buy from people they trust, and the building block of that relationship is being personable, giving a great first impression, and maintain a confident attitude.  All which are given to the "prospect" when you meet them.  Where did I learn this?  easily growing up, being told to be respectful when meeting someone, firm handshake, and always look at the person who is talking to you.  That's what is lacking today, in my opinion, with the texting, instagram, and tweeter's.  These teens are dating and breaking up online, on texts with out ever being in the same room together....I know because my daughter has friends that do this.  If they can't learn to form real, worthy, critical personable relationships because the only relationships they have are over the tech highway, then honestly....(Please note, I am talking form a sales position point) how in hell do you expect them to be in front of a client trying to make a 250,000 dollar deal???  

Do I think technology is bad, hell know I use it everyday.  It doesn't use me.  I own a healthcare staffing agency, I have personally sold 65 Hospitals and Nursing Homes in PA.  Everyone one of them forced me to be in front of them.......Sales man, that is the backbone of any industry and if our kids aren't learning what it takes to look people in the eye, command a room, and create a meaningful relationship, that decade will be at a product standstill.  Yeah its great that an 8 year old can hop on computer, easily work tech apps, but we don't need a world full of people who can run tech, someone gonna have to sell the future products!  Just my opinion, I could be wrong. At which point, I still trying to figure out my cycle!!!!:-&


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## Jada (Dec 10, 2012)

If a man can't look at another man in the eye that's a problem, the only advice I can add to that was already given is pretty much giving him a chance and hope that he changes cuz in this world is either ur a sheep or a wolf.


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## Times Roman (Dec 10, 2012)

PillarofBalance said:


> That's funny cause my boss is an incompetent moron and is totally unqualified. And his name is Peter. He's also a total cock. A synonym for cock is Peter.



That's funny.   The few times i've talked to him I didn't feel he was an incompetent moron?  He may be a little strict sometimes running this board................?


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## AlphaD (Dec 10, 2012)

Jada said:


> If a man can't look at another man in the eye that's a problem, the only advice I can add to that was already given is pretty much giving him a chance and hope that he changes cuz in this world is either ur a sheep or a wolf.



I agree, but likes take the technology out of equation and understand that we live in a society that has a serious problem with fatherless children too.  So BGH, take that boy under your wing and show him that a MAN looks you in the eye and a MAN shake with a firm grip.


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## 3DRanger87 (Dec 10, 2012)

My generation blows and it's only getting worse and worse.


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## PillarofBalance (Dec 10, 2012)

times roman said:


> that's funny.   The few times i've talked to him i didn't feel he was an incompetent moron?  He may be a little strict sometimes running this board................?



my real life boss!!!! Not admin aaaaahhhh!!!!


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