# Omg someone f'n help



## TheBlob (May 16, 2014)

So heres whats up... Been on 1gram test 6oomg deca.... Surprise! I have been informed I will be tested for anabolics use in about a month.. I was told that I was being told in advance as a (grace) so i could get it out of my system.. I guess it suddenly became obvious or something... WTF Im in a total panic... I CAN NOT FAIL this test... Someone please save my ass... The thing is I dont know the exact day of the test either.


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## Bro Bundy (May 16, 2014)

sounds like your fukked


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## Rumpy (May 16, 2014)

You can have some of my blood, no wait, that won't help you either


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## Big Worm (May 16, 2014)

good luck with that........your ass is grass.  you trying to get into law enforcement or what?


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## ECKSRATED (May 16, 2014)

Better hope they are only testing your testosterone levels. Good luck.


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## heavydeads83 (May 16, 2014)

apply vaseline now.


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## Seeker (May 16, 2014)

Damn dude. WTF? Anabolic testing is very specific and not cheap at all. What gives?


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## Maintenance Man (May 16, 2014)

Who is testing you and why?? Your job? A future job? Your mom?


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## Joliver (May 16, 2014)

You could try to find masking agents, but your best bet would be to find some pro-hormone pros and ask what would most likely show up as deca and test.  Purchase those legal PH's and show them after the guaranteed failed test.  

Who is testing you and for what?  It matters because masking agents are themselves illegal to some degree.


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## Joliver (May 16, 2014)

The masking agent you are looking for is Probenecid.  It prevents the AAS from being excreted in the urine (assuming its a urine test).


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## SFGiants (May 16, 2014)

The test won't show but the Deca will it stay with you for months bro.


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## Maintenance Man (May 16, 2014)

Your mom is gonna frreeeeeeeeaaaaak brrroooooo!!!!!


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## SHRUGS (May 16, 2014)

Not sure why you'd EVER even touch Deca if you knew there was ever a chance you might get tested. I guess you gotta stop everything asap and run a pct and just pray. Otherwise get yourself an "oil" change before the test like Latimer in the movie The Program. 
!SHRUGS!


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## SHRUGS (May 16, 2014)

Maintenance Man said:


> Your mom is gonna frreeeeeeeeaaaaak brrroooooo!!!!!



Lmfao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dudes gonna be grounded for awhile


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## JAXNY (May 16, 2014)

Who is testing you. I don't see why a job would test you for AAS its not a narcotic and that's what they are usually concerned with. Unless you've been showing some aggression at work. There are a few jobs out there that would be concerned with AAS do you happen to have one of those? Maybe you could bluff your way out of it by claiming harrassment and stereo typing.Idk just a thought.


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## don draco (May 16, 2014)

TheBlob said:


> So heres whats up... Been on 1gram test 6oomg deca.... Surprise! I have been informed I will be tested for anabolics use in about a month.. I was told that I was being told in advance as a (grace) so i could get it out of my system.. *I guess it suddenly became obvious or something*... WTF Im in a total panic... I CAN NOT FAIL this test... Someone please save my ass... The thing is I dont know the exact day of the test either.



Is this for a job?  If it is for a job, I'm not exactly sure how your growth in itself would make your employer want to drug test you. I haven't heard of that happening before.. to anybody. Unless you've been displaying aggression &/or getting into fights lately?  That combined w/ your growth could set off some red flags.  Or maybe he/she has been wanting to fire you and this is the chance they've been waiting for lol. The fact that you have a grace period is odd to me though.   

& there's no solution that I can think of.  You don't know the day of the test, so you're going to be taken by surprise. And even if you dropped everything at this instant,  you'd still test positive for the deca.  But I like Jol's idea.  That may be your only option at this point brother.. good luck


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## Rumpy (May 16, 2014)

Blob, are you on probation?


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## SFGiants (May 16, 2014)

Rumpy said:


> Blob, are you on probation?



:32 (6):..........................................


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## TriniJuice (May 16, 2014)

Get a lawyer and sue them fukers for discrimination dude...if your the only one being tested I know for a fact thats considered discrimination; but than again it depends what your job is or if your on some type of probation


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## DieYoungStrong (May 16, 2014)

What would frank do in a situation like this??


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## Tren4Life (May 16, 2014)

DieYoungStrong said:


> What would frank do in a situation like this??



Can they test for a Tbol only cycle ?


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## DieYoungStrong (May 16, 2014)

Steelers4Life said:


> Can they test for a Tbol only cycle ?



Frank and tbol win this round. Orals get out if your system faster. 

Deca is the absolute worst steroid to take if drug testing is an issue. At 600mg/week mr blob will be testing positive for nandrolone for well over a year. 

I hope they are just checking your test levels blob.


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## NbleSavage (May 16, 2014)

Like the Bros said, no chance you pass this test. The masking agent is an option, but I would instead go with the "righteous indignation" approach & scream harassment and discrimination. As them to show you in the employee manual where random drug testing for AAS is in-bounds. Tell them "your lawyer" (even if you don't have one at the moment) advised you to not take the test as he is reviewing a suit for discrimination and your compliance could be construed as voluntary. Long story short, I would pull out every trick in the book to avoid the test itself.

Unless you're on probation. In which case, see "Apply Vaseline". (hope for your sake this is not the case, Brother).


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## GreatGunz (May 16, 2014)

Any an all drug testing has to be layed out in writting an must tell u what an why they are testing


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## woodswise (May 16, 2014)

I disagree about claiming discrimination, bluffing, etc. if this is job realted  You don't want to make those arguments unless you can back them up.  It is not illegal for an employer to treat an employee different, for a legitimate reason, i.e. drug testing.  It is illegal to treat them different for an illegal reason (gender, national origin, disability that does not prevent them from doing the job, age, etc.).  So only make the discrimination argument if you can back it up with an argument that you are being singled out because of an illegal reason.  If you make those arguments and cannot back them up, you end up with a reputation for being a trouble maker.  

Instead, I would come off everything, think about using a masking agent, hope they don't test for deca and start making plans for what to do if you fail.  Good luck with this, bro.


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## DieYoungStrong (May 16, 2014)

If this is an employee drug testing thing you are screwed unless you have no employee handbooks. I have to randomly test my guys for recs or my insurance goes through the roof. We have an Employee Handbook that every new employee gets, and has to read and sign. In there it states that you can be tested if there is suspicion that you might be high at work. 

If your company has an AAS testing policy, and you signed a handbook. Gaining 25 lbs in 6 weeks could raise red flags and you could be tested.

But we are all pissing in the wind until you tell us the what and why of the reason for your test.


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## Big Worm (May 16, 2014)

I say fuk all the harassment and discrimination shit.  Own up to it like a man. You made the choice, deal with it.  I'd hate to see how bad you fuks roll over if you ever had to do time.


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## grind4it (May 16, 2014)

Brother you knew the risk. Especially with Deca. As pointed out above; its one of the worst regarding the trace amounts in your blood.

IMO you should not admit to using. I would use the next 30 days putting together my résumé and looking for a job. Then I would use a "Preemptive strike" stratigy and turn in my letter of Resignation in the 11th hour. I would site a "a nessacery lack of trust" as my reason for resignination.

IMO, threating a law suite will be comical and cost you money you will more than likely need to pay bills. Ill take it further and encourage you to call around today and see if you can find an attorney that will take your case pro bono (you don't pay unless they win); my money say they will not and will offer you payment options. This will be a good indicator if you actually have a chance of winning.....you don't. 

Sorry brother this sucks but at the end of the day you knew the risk.

Depending on the company you may have the "rehab" option. Meaning you cop to it and ask for help; meaning checking into a 30 day rehab or similar. The major downside here is this will stay with you in your medical history for the rest of your life. In my world this isn't even an option. Idk, it may be the best job ever.

This is a bad situation; good luck brother.

-grind


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## italian1 (May 16, 2014)

The suspense is killing me. But I agree. Dudes gonna get the wooden spoon for sure.


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## NbleSavage (May 16, 2014)

Big Worm said:


> I say fuk all the harassment and discrimination shit.  Own up to it like a man. You made the choice, deal with it.  I'd hate to see how bad you fuks roll over if you ever had to do time.



Completely different situation, IMO. We're talking a workplace environment here. Worst case scenario is he has to resign to avoid taking the test. As was pointed out, if he's working in a shop that allows for AAS testing then he knew the risk and now unfortunately has to live with the consequences. This scenario IMO equates to getting popped and subsequently doing time without giving-up your dealer. You knew the risks, you deal with the consequences. 

The work setting though is different, in that we have yet to establish if his company even has an AAS testing policy (I'm assuming this is for work as again if its probation then see scenario 1) and if they do not then I'm going to disagree with the value in rattling sabres and threatening lawyers. I work in the field, but I've been around the suits for years and that kind of sh1t WORKS. Companies don't want to be entangled in employee law suits, as its bad for their recruiting and bad for their image in the marketplace. He could start be simply asking to talk to his HR rep (or his union rep if its a union shop) and ask for clarification of the policy on AAS testing, ask for an explanation of why he specifically is being tested (unless the employee manual stipulates random AAS testing is part of the gig) and then even escalate if he doesn't get the answer he wants (eg. if the HR rep gives him no help, ask to talk to their boss, etc). This also buys him time to get the deca out of his system: the longer he can drag this out on principle, the better his chances of passing if he actually does have to take the test. It also lets his employer know that he's not going to be an easy case & just p1ss in a cup because they asked him to. Does that hurt his rep with the employer? Sure, but hell he's already being called on the carpet for an AAS screen - this tells me they have their doubts about him at present so stirring the pot to increase your chances of avoiding the test (or even of passing it with a long enough delay) would seem an appropriate response. 

All of this though assumes he's not signed a policy allowing for AAS testing, and / or that this isn't his probation officer mandating the test - then he's got to either resign from the company, fail the test and plead mia culpa, or go back to the box (if probation).


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## PillarofBalance (May 16, 2014)

Nbl he never said workplace test. He may be on parole.


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## NbleSavage (May 16, 2014)

PillarofBalance said:


> Nbl he never said workplace test. He may be on parole.



Understood & if so then his outcome is pretty much determined. Hope this isn't the case.


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## nightster (May 16, 2014)

**** it, if you can't get clean, finish your cycle and get masive before you face the repercussions


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## mistah187 (May 16, 2014)

Pray it's a test only test. Obviously stop everything right now. No pct either. Those can come up to. Shitty situation. I just got a government job and am gonna b on 6 months probation and they test for all kinds of shit so my cycle just got waived. Not worth the risk because of situations like this.


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## mistah187 (May 16, 2014)

Maybe he is in a union and that's why they gave the heads up.


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## mistah187 (May 16, 2014)

Double post


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## Malevolence (May 16, 2014)

I think he has some prior law troubles so could be a Po.  Sorry bro but deca does not go away for a long time...very long time


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## JAXNY (May 16, 2014)

If it's job related and not parole that would investigate.  Find yourself a doctor to pay and get a letter saying he has you on test therapy. Maybe one of the anti aging centers would be likely to do something like that for you.


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## TheBlob (May 16, 2014)

Maintenance Man said:


> Who is testing you and why?? Your job? A future job? Your mom?



My friggn job


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## anewguy (May 16, 2014)

IDK about you guys... But where I'm from an employer can do pretty much whatever-the-****-they-want.  If you want to cry discrimination, you can, but GOOD LUCK.  Especially if you are actually positive for the substance anyway.  It may vary by state, but an employer here can test you at any time, for any reason...With or without a stupid handbook.  I think this is just "broknowledge..."  Kind of like saying, "A cop can't touch you out of his jurisdiction"  LOL, yeah right.  And also, employers here can fire you for any reason, as long as it doesn't include racial/sexual/disability discrimination.  (In which case, they would just go ahead and fire you and then good luck winning that battle... And even if you did, enjoy your awkward ass career after all that...)


Edit:  The following doesn't matter anymore, just leaving it 'for the record':

As a side note, (if it's probation) I have some experience with the system... And I was NEVER tested for AAS.  They tested for Narcotics... And I doubt the state would test anyone for AAS.  Not to mention that most POs are as dumb as a box of rocks these days...  They have a super high turnover rate and in general, they give ZERO ****s.  She/He is probably just assuming that they are testing for AAS when they don't even do that.


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## anewguy (May 16, 2014)

Ah... What kind of job is this?  That's really strange that they would test you for AAS..


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## TheBlob (May 16, 2014)

Rumpy said:


> Blob, are you on probation?


 no this isnt probation.... I work as a drug and alchohol case manager and they feel if im using anabolics thats to close to recreational drugs,,, so they dont wanna can me they want ne to quit "hence the warning" trust me I thought this was impossible,, otherwise I would of used different compounds


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## TheBlob (May 16, 2014)

joliver said:


> You could try to find masking agents, but your best bet would be to find some pro-hormone pros and ask what would most likely show up as deca and test.  Purchase those legal PH's and show them after the guaranteed failed test.
> 
> Who is testing you and for what?  It matters because masking agents are themselves illegal to some degree.



There are pro hormones that do this? Well this would be the ticket my friends


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## TheBlob (May 16, 2014)

SFGiants said:


> The test won't show but the Deca will it stay with you for months bro.



I know this,,,,, I might just be screwed


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## Radical1 (May 16, 2014)

Dude, your job sucks.


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## anewguy (May 16, 2014)

So.. you work for a company that does drug and alcohol rehabilitation in a state as liberal as Washington State, and you think they plan to fire you for using a Schedule 3 drug?


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## NbleSavage (May 16, 2014)

Sorry to hear this, Mate. 

This site may provide some useful info for you should you decide to try & fight the legality of the test. 

Good luck, Brother.


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## Joliver (May 16, 2014)

TheBlob said:


> There are pro hormones that do this? Well this would be the ticket my friends



I dont know what PHs would pop for test and deca.  But i do know that there are a few.  I would recommend finding them and hawk them down however you can.  Some of them are already banned, and will be difficult to find and expensive as hell.  Several NFL guys have successfully used this defense. 

Your best bet is to find a guy that owns a bodybuilding supplement shop and ask him.  Those guys are generally on the cutting edge of PHs.


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## Joliver (May 16, 2014)

Another option:  Go to one of those god awfully expensive private docs that do TRT for athletes and get scripts for test and deca.   You can expect a $2,000 bill, but if it prevents losing your job (assuming you get canned), you will more than break even.


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## shenky (May 16, 2014)

I agree that you should own up to it. Now. Like today.

I used to use a lot of drugs. A lot. I've also worked temporarily in a drug and alcohol treatment place. The staff that you work with are probably very easy going and understanding - they deal with meth addicts, heroin addicts, thieves, etc.

If I were you, I'd approach the head honcho and tell him that you HAVE been using anabolics, but you'd be willing to stop, that you had no idea it would be so important for you to not use them while working here, etc. And then stop doing anything but test.

Bottom line is you're not going to pass that drug test. Tell them about how long you expect the nandy to be in your system. Explain how important the job is to you, and that you'd be more than willing to stop usage for the job.


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## stonetag (May 16, 2014)

joliver said:


> I dont know what PHs would pop for test and deca.  But i do know that there are a few.  I would recommend finding them and hawk them down however you can.  Some of them are already banned, and will be difficult to find and expensive as hell.  Several NFL guys have successfully used this defense.
> 
> Your best bet is to find a guy that owns a bodybuilding supplement shop and ask him.  Those guys are generally on the cutting edge of PHs.



I know "that" guy, good suggestion.


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## Get Some (May 16, 2014)

FInd a bottle of any prohormone that is a 19-nor derivative (usually "tren" or something similar)... that is your only hope... metabolites of Deca hang around for up to 18 months

if they are doing a testosterone test then slam some epi-testosterone into your system to level your ratios


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## Get Some (May 16, 2014)

OH, and btw metabolites of testosterone attached to any ester WILL show up in a drug test. Only thing that is safe is TNE.


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## Hero Swole (May 17, 2014)

What a bunch of ****s. Somebody doesn't like you there.


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## #TheMatrix (May 17, 2014)

Get Some said:


> OH, and btw metabolites of testosterone attached to any ester WILL show up in a drug test. Only thing that is safe is TNE.



What kind of drug test?
I was tested for 5 years every 3 months....routine urine analysis and always tested clean while ON. Always said I had a flu(for ephedrine) and PHs for test. My case officer nvr raised a brow.  And so, yea


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## RustyShackelford (May 17, 2014)

Get Some said:


> FInd a bottle of any prohormone that is a 19-nor derivative (usually "tren" or something similar)... that is your only hope... metabolites of Deca hang around for up to 18 months
> 
> if they are doing a testosterone test then slam some epi-testosterone into your system to level your ratios



This is probably the route I would go. 
That's a hell of a situation man, I wish you the best of luck!


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## TheBlob (May 17, 2014)

joliver said:


> I dont know what PHs would pop for test and deca.  But i do know that there are a few.  I would recommend finding them and hawk them down however you can.  Some of them are already banned, and will be difficult to find and expensive as hell.  Several NFL guys have successfully used this defense.
> 
> Your best bet is to find a guy that owns a bodybuilding supplement shop and ask him.  Those guys are generally on the cutting edge of PHs.



Thank you Joliver this is the route im going...


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## TheBlob (May 17, 2014)

joliver said:


> I dont know what PHs would pop for test and deca.  But i do know that there are a few.  I would recommend finding them and hawk them down however you can.  Some of them are already banned, and will be difficult to find and expensive as hell.  Several NFL guys have successfully used this defense.
> 
> Your best bet is to find a guy that owns a bodybuilding supplement shop and ask him.  Those guys are generally on the cutting edge of PHs.



Thank you Joliver this is the route im going...


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## Big Worm (May 17, 2014)

Blob, you are the only one who really knows the truth about why you are getting tested.  Just keep in mind that you did the deed. Dont be rolling over on anyone because you fuked up.


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## TheBlob (May 17, 2014)

Thanks everybody. The thing is this guy knows absolutely squat about anabolics and thinks this stuff will clear your system like thc or meth.... Im gonna have to explain that these metabolites just dont work like that and will show positive for long periods of time. Being as PH are legal non mind altering how should I have ever expected it to be an issue


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## TheBlob (May 17, 2014)

Dude are you serious worm? Lol..


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## TheBlob (May 17, 2014)

Am not gonna turn this into a pissing contest but worm that comment really pissed me off


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## TheLupinator (May 17, 2014)

Big Worm said:


> Blob, you are the only one who really knows the truth about why you are getting tested.  Just keep in mind that you did the deed. Dont be rolling over on anyone because you fuked up.



Calm down killer, its his employer. they dont care who he got anything from. only LE would care about that.


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## Flyingdragon (May 17, 2014)

Everyone needs to relax:

1) There are only a few labs in the world that can test for AAS or HGH
2) If your in a union they can get you out of this situation as its very difficult to fire someone in a union
3) I believe they are simply trying to scare you and wont end up testing u or testing u for something completely different
4) If they do test you and u feel u will test positive u will need a good employment attorney


I believe they are bluffing and will not test u as its a very expensive test....


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## GuerillaKilla (May 17, 2014)

I know MANY Mom and Pop bodybuilding supplement shop owners. I called one of my closest and asked for you. 

Alpha 20 by LGI apparently converts to M1T, which would hypothetically cover your ass on the test side. 

Deca plexx 850 by Genetech is supposed to be a deca derivative. Should cover you on the 19-nor issue. 

Both are prohormones available right now. Find them and buy them if you are going to use the "Chewbacca" or "prohormone" defense.


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## event462 (May 17, 2014)

TheBlob said:


> Am not gonna turn this into a pissing contest but worm that comment really pissed me off



Don't worry Blob. I still love you and you can roll all over me if you want!


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## TheBlob (May 17, 2014)

GuerillaKilla said:


> I know MANY Mom and Pop bodybuilding supplement shop owners. I called one of my closest and asked for you.
> 
> Alpha 20 by LGI apparently converts to M1T, which would hypothetically cover your ass on the test side.
> 
> ...



Dude I think I love bro..... This is very helpful.


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## TheBlob (May 17, 2014)

Flyingdragon said:


> Everyone needs to relax:
> 
> 1) There are only a few labs in the world that can test for AAS or HGH
> 2) If your in a union they can get you out of this situation as its very difficult to fire someone in a union
> ...




FD a bluff is actually something I also considered and I agree. It is a real possibility this is BS.. But just incase I believe the prohormone bit, is good to go also... Once again I appreciate all you guys and your help.


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## deejeff442 (May 17, 2014)

I have heard from a doctor. When you piss into the cup dont use what comes out 1st or at the end.from what he said was most of the stuff they test for come from when you start pissing and finish.now I cant say its totally true but thats what I heard


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## TheLupinator (May 17, 2014)

deejeff442 said:


> I have heard from a doctor. When you piss into the cup dont use what comes out 1st or at the end.from what he said was most of the stuff they test for come from when you start pissing and finish.now I cant say its totally true but thats what I heard



Yes that's true, but I don't think it will make a difference. It's not like midstream your piss is always clean, just more diluted.


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## deejeff442 (May 17, 2014)

Well at least its true.so if we were boarder line it would help.glad I dont have to go through drug tests.my friends in oil field get tested at random and once a month.but I dont think they run aas tests.


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## TheBlob (May 17, 2014)

No ive done many ua's they have to specifically test for these metabolites


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## shenky (May 17, 2014)

I hope you the best, mister blob


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## will (May 18, 2014)

Resign and find a new job. U can work for me lol all my bosses know and encourage it. Life of a construction worker lol


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## TriniJuice (May 18, 2014)

will said:


> Resign and find a new job. U can work for me lol all my bosses know and encourage it. Life of a construction worker lol



lmao,
only a selected few know i juice but one old timer says to me, "As long as you keep doing all the lifting/moving...I'll keep you around kid"


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## M_T Pockets (May 18, 2014)

Hope you get everything in check bro.


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## BrutesorGods (May 18, 2014)

I have no idea what to recommend because I'm a bit of a noob to all this. Just wanted to wish you good luck, man.


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## jyoung8j (May 19, 2014)

Just tell them u have a addiction problem.. they have to offer u help b4 they can fire u.. if not get a attorney. .


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