# 20 year old guy with 385 ng/dl test levels (contemplating suicide)



## calvesbrah (Aug 28, 2013)

Hi guys i got my total t level checked and they came 385 ng/dl , ive got all the low t symptoms + i fee like my youth is wasted. I never took any aas or ph in my life. 
	

		
			
		

		
	



I want to jump on 200mg test e /week . Im aware about fertility but guys i cant live like that.


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## Onlythebestwilldo (Aug 28, 2013)

My doc put me on trt with levels of 350 @ 28yo. Did u do your own test? If so what time of day did u have test done?


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## calvesbrah (Aug 28, 2013)

Im researching about aas for 1 year and did the test on my own , im romanian and endos here are stupid as fuck and trt doesnt even exists. Ill do it on my own.
I did the test at 8 am


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## calvesbrah (Aug 28, 2013)

bump                     1


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## transcend2007 (Aug 28, 2013)

Have you considered more natural ways of raising your test through diet and exercise?

Please understand trt is generally for life.  So you're talking about many decades of drugs.

Just consider every possible option first.


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## biggerben692000 (Aug 28, 2013)

I started running gear when I as 24 and the only time I've come off was when I was locked up. I wouldn't have it any other way. You mentioned suicide as if you were commenting on the weather? If you have family talk to them. If not, google "suicide prevention".
You need to talk to someone qualified. We'll listen and talk to you but we're not what you need. I sincerely hope you take my advice and reach out to the right people. Keep talking to us but it's also not fair to put your life in our hands here. Get well, please.


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## gymrat827 (Aug 28, 2013)

i would diet and exercise much better than you are now and try a few natty T boosters or even some clomid.  DAA is cheap as shit, 12-15 bux for a months worth.  grab some of that and use 50mg clomid alongside it.  

See how that goes for a month, I can tell you right now it will improve.  How much, tough to say, but those two will boost your numbers.


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## calvesbrah (Aug 28, 2013)

It will boost me to what levels ? >300 <400 ? that's still shit , i want to get my levels to 900 ng/dl , what much mg of test should i take a week ?


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## biggerben692000 (Aug 28, 2013)

calvesbrah said:


> It will boost me to what levels ? >300 <400 ? that's still shit , i want to get my levels to 900 ng/dl , what much mg of test should i take a week ?



How do you expect members, much less a board moderator, to advise a suicidal guy that just joined the board on how much of a drug that could influence your mood to take? You're being selfish and not thinking clearly. Testosterone in supra-physiological amounts is going to change your mood. You may be bipolar or manic? At the very least you're suffering from depression. I'm aware that in your neck of the woods some Dr's prescribe test to depressed men. However, those doses are TRT  doses and you've stated that you consider that to "shit". 
You need help we can't provide you with here. I'm certain you will be asking for a source if you haven't already.


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## PFM (Aug 28, 2013)

Seek out professional help, not self medicating with drugs.


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## Get Some (Aug 28, 2013)

If he's Romanian he can just walk to the local pharmacy and pick up amps of Testoviron anyway. He's gonna do it no matter what with that easy access so all we can try to do is tell him to wait... But that's not gonna happen


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## PFM (Aug 28, 2013)

The problem with self diagnosing yourself online (according to TRT Clinics) is their going to convince too many guys they can solve all their troubles running some test.

Biggerben's suggestion to google key words that reflect how your feeling is a great start. There are hotlines you can call and talk to someone. Keep going, you might be down,  the only way is up.


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## Get Some (Aug 28, 2013)

To be honest with you I don't think "I can't live like that" is a suicidal thought. If someone asked me if I could live on welfare my response would be, "I can't live like that." If I was in that situation I would do something to get out of it, not just stay there or consider suicide. I was going to stay quiet about this but I think the suicide thing really got blown out of proportion in this thread. Nothing against bigben, its god to be concerned for others, but also remember this is the Internet. No emotion, no face, no name... He could be perfectly happy in all other aspects of his life but just dissatisfied with muscle development or sex drive. 

I say lets be careful before bringing up suicide next time unless the OP actually uses that term by name or says something like, "I'm thinking about killing myself"


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## amore169 (Aug 29, 2013)

I been on TRT for a while already and this is a life commitment therapy, what you wrote OP about yourself is not enough, are u overweight, have u done any AAS in the past, do u even exercise, etc... The main question here is that what brought u to those levels and start diagnosing from there, cause you're way to young to have those levels. Good luck.


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## regular (Aug 29, 2013)

There's more than one way to elevate your testosterone levels. You can employ an alternative therapy if you are concerned about preserving your fertility. 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16422830
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18426834
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16478815


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## TR90125 (Aug 29, 2013)

Get Some said:


> If he's Romanian he can just walk to the local pharmacy and pick up amps of Testoviron anyway. He's gonna do it no matter what with that easy access so all we can try to do is tell him to wait... But that's not gonna happen



It was in the op's subject line....

At any rate, If there's one thing I have learned since starting TRT in 2010 is that is it not a cure all and if not properly monitored with blood work can exacerbate the problem.  To the OP, if your situation does not allow for adequate supervised treatment, my advice is to do your homework.  I just recently came out of a bit of a rough patch in my personal life and had a few dark days of my own even with a T level in the 1100 range.  

Good luck.


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## TR90125 (Aug 29, 2013)

Sorry...for the misquote.  My point was the OP mentioned suicide in his subject line which is why some of us brought it up again.


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## Yaya (Aug 29, 2013)

Don't kill yourself.. As others said, get help.. Everything will be ok.. Suicide is only gonna make things worse after your gone


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## Mountain Warrior (Aug 29, 2013)

I spent over 20 years dragging the chain due to my Test not doing what it was supposed too..  No point in worry about the past... Just got to get over it, get your life back on track and get on with life..
Because your levels are low you may feel bad but I wouldn't have thought you would feel depressed at levels of 13 nmol/L though..  But then ever body is different and reacts differently to different levels.. Im guessing there's a lot more to your problems than just low test. 

IF TRT is the answer to your problems, then you could consider taking Andriol for a while.. Although it contains a nasty additive (sunset yellow - possible carcinogenic food coloring) it doesn't cause shut down. It wont shut down your pituitary gland and your nuts wont shrivel up like the injectables do. No need for HCG.. It may also help to raise sperm count, not lower it. A good alternative if wanting to have kids in the future. 

There have been some studies done where a group of people were given Andriol testo caps 40mg (orals) for x amount of weeks.. Then they stopped cold turkey and their test levels never dropped..  another words no PCT needed.  If that is true then you could always give it a shot for a while and see what happens...  Of note though, regardless of what that study said and it was a proper medical study, that didn't work for me. When I tried to stop them I hit rock bottom, felt like utter shit so went back on it... But then I had been on long term.


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## Get Some (Aug 29, 2013)

TR90125 said:


> It was in the op's subject line....
> 
> At any rate, If there's one thing I have learned since starting TRT in 2010 is that is it not a cure all and if not properly monitored with blood work can exacerbate the problem.  To the OP, if your situation does not allow for adequate supervised treatment, my advice is to do your homework.  I just recently came out of a bit of a rough patch in my personal life and had a few dark days of my own even with a T level in the 1100 range.
> 
> Good luck.



Wow do I feel like an idiot!!! Sorry Big Ben my brother!! My fault for reading the damn thread on a phone that cuts off the subject line! Fuck me


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## calvesbrah (Aug 29, 2013)

Ive learned to read the bloodwork , tommorow ill test the estradiol and prolactin which i think they are high as fuck , if so ill buy som caber for prolac and adex for the estrogen + 200mg test/week. I want to cruise on this for many years cuz i dont want to waste my youth. Do you guy even know how it feel having a baby face at 20? no facial hair ? anxiety and depression ? dead libido ? No you dont , i woudlnt make this choice at all but its killing my inside when i see guys my age having energy levels and motivation and im still the lazy depressed piece of shit.


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## byrd9790 (Sep 1, 2013)

Im confused he mentions suicide and hes worried about being able to reproduce (Im going to kill myself but want to be fertile when it happens).  I think that's BS but if im wrong the circle you need to be in is your friends and family not here trying to get 1100 test lvls.  My test LVLs were in in the hundreds for the last 6-8 months and in the 200 for a cpl years so I know it can be tough but I think this is a BS thread.


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## Mountain Warrior (Sep 1, 2013)

byrd9790 said:


> Im confused he mentions suicide and hes worried about being able to reproduce (Im going to kill myself but want to be fertile when it happens).  I think that's BS but if im wrong the circle you need to be in is your friends and family not here trying to get 1100 test lvls.  My test LVLs were in in the hundreds for the last 6-8 months and in the 200 for a cpl years so I know it can be tough but I think this is a BS thread.



I think you're spot on byrd...  I have really been biting my tounge in this thread..  
As for your last post calvesbrah, you suggest no one knows what its like? So why do you think there are so many people on TRT around the world? Just for the fun of it? And as I said I think you have far more going on that just low test levels.. 
 Before going on TRT my last bloods came back with a level of 13 nmol/L for my total testosterone and I was far from suicidal and far from depressed. You need to go see a proper doctor or an Endo or some one with far more knowledge than your self.. 
You have shown us nothing concrete on here.. All you appear to be doing is guess work.. 
How do you not know you have head issues which you obviously do have if you are thinking of suicide.. You really need the help of proper doctors.
But then Im with byrd, I think this is just a wind up..


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## biggerben692000 (Sep 1, 2013)

byrd9790 said:


> Im confused he mentions suicide and hes worried about being able to reproduce (Im going to kill myself but want to be fertile when it happens).  I think that's BS but if im wrong the circle you need to be in is your friends and family not here trying to get 1100 test lvls.  My test LVLs were in in the hundreds for the last 6-8 months and in the 200 for a cpl years so I know it can be tough but I think this is a BS thread.



I think this fucking wise guy is too arrogant to off himself. He most likely felt it would get him some extra attention and perhaps have his questions answered without haste.
You smart mouthed 20yr punk you haven't been through shit. If you had been through what I and others had and are going through maybe you would've stretched your neck out or something. As of this moment, you still can tasted your mommy's breast milk. Grow the fuck up.


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## Mountain Warrior (Sep 1, 2013)

biggerben692000 said:


> I think this fucking wise guy is too arrogant to off himself. He most likely felt it would get him some extra attention and perhaps have his questions answered without haste.
> You smart mouthed 20yr punk you haven't been through shit. If you had been through what I and others had and are going through maybe you would've stretched your neck out or something. As of this moment, you still can tasted your mommy's breast milk. Grow the fuck up.


hahahahaaha, that's kinda how I wanted to put it..  Guess Im just too polite.


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## #TheMatrix (Sep 2, 2013)

I  love  you ben.....
 hope alls well  on  your  side


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## SFGiants (Sep 2, 2013)

Get yourself fixed up or change your name to Sue!


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## jomamma007 (Nov 15, 2013)

calvesbrah said:


> Ive learned to read the bloodwork , tommorow ill test the estradiol and prolactin which i think they are high as **** , if so ill buy som caber for prolac and adex for the estrogen + 200mg test/week. I want to cruise on this for many years cuz i dont want to waste my youth. Do you guy even know how it feel having a baby face at 20? no facial hair ? anxiety and depression ? dead libido ? No you dont , i woudlnt make this choice at all but its killing my inside when i see guys my age having energy levels and motivation and im still the lazy depressed piece of shit.



I was in the same boat as you at 20. No facial hair, baby face, anxious and depresses.
I know how hard it can be. All the old timers talking nostalgia about their youthful days, non stop libido, in great shape all that crap, and then you're 20 just being like wtf. I dont have any of that.
 Now 22 being on trt for a few months i definitely feel better with 1000 test levels,  but i still had depression.  It wasnt until i adressed this that i could fully reap the benefits of trt.

Its not as simple as just having high test levels. You should rule out pituitary tumors, thyroid issues and adrenal problems before starting. Trt will not fix these.


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## tcol (May 4, 2014)

your name is calvesbrah? thats not a name you come up with when your in the depths of a dark brooding suicidal depression.

we dont know whta its like to have no libido or energy or a baby face at 20? dude you are a ****ing PUSSY. there are people out there living with no arms or ****ing legs, people with there faces burned off, and you wanna cry like your the only guy with hormonal problems at 20!? ive been in that boat since i was 20, im 28 now, eight years later trying to iron out all my energy/libido/hormonal issues as i have multiple health conditions, including one that will have me shitting in a colostemy bag hanging out of my stomache within the next few months.

and you wanna act liek your life is so bad cause your 20 and have a baby face? dude i would punch you in the androgynous face if i saw you right now. you have NO PERSPECTIVE AT ALL. even with much worse problems then you and for many years now, i realize there are poor children out there with crippling brain damage and paralyzation that i would never count myself unlucky.

come 2 muricah i wanna fight u


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