# Story teller roommate..



## I bench 135x5 (Apr 16, 2013)

Hi Guys,

I just thought this would be a great idea to keep alive. My roommate is the BIGGEST story teller in the world. His last name is ABT and we call them ABT FACTS. 

These are all real stories that came out of his mouth, i could not make this stuff up. I'll post them as they come.

Enjoy!!


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## I bench 135x5 (Apr 16, 2013)

OK First story. 

One day, his family was at the beach. These two people got caught in a rip tide and were getting washed out to sea, so with the quick thinking of him and his dad they made a HUMAN CHAIN of people that went out 200 yards and saved the two people from drowning.

ABT FACT


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## I bench 135x5 (Apr 16, 2013)

One time, he and his family were on a plane. Something happened to the pilots and they were unconscious so his dad ran to the front of the plane and sat in the pilots seat. He then put the headsets in and listened to air traffic control and managed to land the plane safely.

ABT FACT


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## DF (Apr 16, 2013)

Hmmm, sounds like you have your very own Tilly.


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## dboldouggie (Apr 16, 2013)

Tell me more...this shit is hysterical.


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## I bench 135x5 (Apr 16, 2013)

dboldouggie said:


> Tell me more...this shit is hysterical.



OK this one time. There was a tornado in CT. Apparently the tornado knew where he lived and was passing his house but immediately turned sharply and went down his street. Like literally down his street, past his house. Said it was the craziest thing he had ever seen.

ABT FACT


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## Dtownry (Apr 16, 2013)

LOL Sounds like an interesting fellow.


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## ccpro (Apr 16, 2013)

My brother knew I cat like that in college, they called him "The Wedge".  He also had performed countless acts of heroism and layed oh so many women...The Wedge!!!!!


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## Times Roman (Apr 16, 2013)

ABT Fact...

....I was secretly inducted into the army and sent to europe to impregnate young women to help repopulate the continent after the war.  I am single handedly responsible for siring over 35,000 children.  Each year, I get a thank you and a generous stipend from the German government for my efforts....


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## BigGameHunter (Apr 17, 2013)

I grew up with a guy like that he was slow on top of that that didnt effect his imagination.  Hes killed thousands of gangbangers and terrorists many different times.  All while walking from his apt to the job corps training.  Requited by the CIA as a child and taken to a compound to begin his training....

Me and my friends like to get fucked up and tell the stories.  Its a blast.


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## Georgia (Apr 17, 2013)

Oh man there are some people who have a vivid/seemingly realistic imagination that they believe is reality (or try to fool people into thinking it is)...and they REALLY think that we don't smell BS when they tell these stories.


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## oldskool954 (Apr 17, 2013)

I've known a few guys like this. one guy said his best friend is pro b-ball player that was building him a multi million dollar house just as a nice gift for a friend then months later u ask him how his house is coming. "Oh they canceled construction because they found Indian bones and now it's an ancient Indian burial preserve". Dude said he went to high school with Anthony hardaway and beat him on the court a couple times. Just pure bs


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## Georgia (Apr 17, 2013)

They usually have earrings...talk real fast...and can never seem to look you in the eye throughout the entire story


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## j2048b (Apr 17, 2013)

oldskool954 said:


> I've known a few guys like this. one guy said his best friend is pro b-ball player that was building him a multi million dollar house just as a nice gift for a friend then months later u ask him how his house is coming. "Oh they canceled construction because they found Indian bones and now it's an ancient Indian burial preserve". Dude said he went to high school with Anthony hardaway and beat him on the court a couple times. Just pure bs



Hahahaha indian bones muhahahaha that shit was hilarious!

I once told my buddies in the military my ex gf's dad owned a ferrari, and worked for ralph lauren at his ranch in colorado! They laughed until i  proved it! Not an abt fact, jb fact!


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## I bench 135x5 (Apr 17, 2013)

LOL i'm glad everyone knows someone like this. He brings great joy into my life. My friends problem is that he cannot be left out of any conversation. EVER. we realised this and make up the biggest BS stories we can and he will comment that he, or a friend, or a relative did something exactly the same or close by. He ads facts that he thinks makes it seems legit like a real name or distinct marker.. I.E. the next ABT FACT

Perfect Example.

We were randomly talking about the Boston Marathon Bombing. Everyone said something, he piped in. Yeah my friend Joe Shmo was at mile 22 when it happened. Ran straight to the hospital. I mean this could be true but i call ABT FACT

ABT FACT


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## I bench 135x5 (Apr 17, 2013)

In fact to prove this point. Give me a topic to discuss and i gaurantee you i will come back with an ABT FACT


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## PillarofBalance (Apr 17, 2013)

I bench 135x5 said:


> In fact to prove this point. Give me a topic to discuss and i gaurantee you i will come back with an ABT FACT



Sex

Terrorism

Powerlifting

Existentialism


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## oldskool954 (Apr 17, 2013)

PillarofBalance said:


> Sex
> 
> Terrorism
> 
> ...



No gay sex!


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## I bench 135x5 (Apr 17, 2013)

HAHAHAHA THIS JUST HAPPENED. We are watching Deadliest catch. It's been on for literally 2 minutes. He comments. Do you know i was offered a job as a deck hand on a ship in the bering sea. 

COULD NOT FUCKING BELIEVE IT

ABT FACT


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## Georgia (Apr 17, 2013)

I love this thread. We have discovered a habitual liar living in fantasy land. STICKY THIS THREAD FOR RESEARCH!

lol jk...but really..


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## BigGameHunter (Apr 17, 2013)

I bench 135x5 said:


> In fact to prove this point. Give me a topic to discuss and i gaurantee you i will come back with an ABT FACT



This sounds like fun. Fire away.

ABT Fact


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## I bench 135x5 (Apr 18, 2013)

This just happened again. We are watching the show "The Americans" about those spies from Russia. Anyways, the scene is a guy blind folded being interrogated. He quips in "You know my one friends dad was held hostage like that too."

ABT FACT


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## airagee23 (Apr 18, 2013)

This is a great thread. Id love to drink with your friend so I could laugh my ass off


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## j2048b (Apr 18, 2013)

OMG! Awesome 

U guys need to to have a gay friend to see if he one ups the gay story

And throw a story in about a 1 legged midget


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## I bench 135x5 (Apr 18, 2013)

j2048b said:


> OMG! Awesome
> 
> U guys need to to have a gay friend to see if he one ups the gay story
> 
> And throw a story in about a 1 legged midget



Hmmm the gay guy might be a stretch but the one legged midget is money in the bank


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## Curiosity (Apr 18, 2013)

Man I have a relative like that, he's always made up ridiculous stories... He'll say shit about how he's really in the CIA, he's single-handedly killed 20 russians with kung fu at the same time. He totalled a car and had some story about how a family of ducks was crossing the street and he had to swerve to avoid hitting the baby ducks. here was the best one though...

He was into playing lazer tag for a while. He claimed that lazer tag was going to be made an olympic sport, but the olympic committee called him and asked him not to participate, because it wouldn't be fair to anyone else and it would ruin the event. 

Meanwhile this guy has never been able to hold down a job in his life, he's over 30 and his mother supports him, he sits around all day playing video games. total loser.

I also lived with a guy who was a one-upper, but that's a slightly different concept, although it sounds like your boy ABT has a little bit of both going on.


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## j2048b (Apr 18, 2013)

Haha YES! Cant wait for the midget stories to flow!

Also tell him this:

Harry: One time, we successfully mated a bulldog with a Shih-Tzu.
Mary: Really? That's weird.
Harry: Yeah, we called it a bullshit.


Haha dumb and dumber best movie ever!


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## AlphaD (Apr 18, 2013)

Ohhh Man this is great!  Keep em coming!   Reminds of a guy I grew up with.  He lied so much that he actual believed his own lies as truth.  WARPED


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## HammerT1 (Apr 18, 2013)

Sadly there is millions of em out there. The worst part is they usally  find some poor girl to belive that BS somehow and support many of em! 

I've lost county of how many guys I've met who say they were so bad ass they were taken out of boot and put straight into seals or rangers! Didn't even need jump school either. Just natural born killers! Hahahahah we used to have fun calling em out and tripping em up. 

   Best was some 18 year old  loser punk  telling us he was in a foxhole guarding the airfroce base during the Panama invasion. He saved everyone on the base and got the Medal of Honor. Hell, I think he would have been in diapers still. All in front of his cute ass gal too who is shaking her head in agrement . I looked over to my buddy, and said hey weren't you one of the guys in a fox hole over their and when he says yeah, kids mouth hit the floor.  Buddy told him he ever heard him say that shit again he was going to rip out his tongue. 

  Another guy would dress up in BDU's with fake dealta force patches any time he saw guys in military uniforms. Some dumbasses acutally belived him.


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## Times Roman (Apr 19, 2013)

My son's friend must be related to ABT somehow....

....several years ago, my son's friend got in a motorcycle accident, banged up his head a bit, he went unconscious, overnight in the hospital.

Later, he tells us this story how the nurses all couldn't keep their hands off him, and were having sex with him while he was unconscious.

I'm like "Saaaaaay what???  If you were unconscious, how do you know they (multiple nurses, one by one, standing in line I guess??) were having sex with you?

He's like.... cuz they wrote it down on the chart.  Anything they do to you they have to write it on the chart!


And that, my friends, is yet another ABT Fact!


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## I bench 135x5 (Apr 19, 2013)

I SHIT YOU NOT, HE IS AT IT AGAIN. THIS IS A DAILY OCCURRENCE.

We are watching Wicked Tuna. I SHIT YOU NOT. He says " This one time he was in a boat and his dad had to tow him in to shore. It was so embarrassing he says. He said that his actual engine was in the boat. It fell in the water and his uncle had to jump off another boat and swim to get the engine and put it in his boat while his dad towed them to shore"

ABT FACT


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## PillarofBalance (Apr 19, 2013)

Omg keep them coming...


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## grind4it (Apr 19, 2013)

I don't know how you guys can listen to that bullshit. I think we have all come across these fucks. When I was younger (I'm guess around your age Ibench) it was easier; when one of these wind bags would start going off I would say "I call  bullshit" then when challenged I would say "unless your fucking Forest Gump; there's no fucking that much shit could happen to one person". Then I would usually ask them if they were raped on a camping trip by thier uncle and this is the only OTHER way they know how to get the attention of men. This was a very effective method. It usually resulted in the dbags keeping thier mouths shut around me or avoiding me completly. 

Fast forward twenty years... These guys get more sophisticated as the years go by. I believe it's because simpletons like me call them out and they become forces to evolve. You will find 20 years from now when you and your roomate cross paths again he will have an entirely new level of game. The lies will become more believable and he will more than likely take pride in the "set-up". Literally, starting the ground work of a lie months in advance. 

God I hate these guys. Because I am a true redneck I refuse to evolve. I still call them out... I know I'm a dick.


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## BigGameHunter (Apr 19, 2013)

Dude
Find a way to tape him an post the vids here. 

I love this shit

"ABT ain't notin fuck with"


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## regular (Apr 19, 2013)

I grew up with a guy who was a pathological liar. He would embellish stories and flat out make shit up. He use to drive me nuts. I couldn't stand the guy. He reminds me a lot of your buddy.


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## I bench 135x5 (Apr 19, 2013)

We are so used to it now we believe nothing he says. He tells stories and no one pays attention to them. No one looks his way or even acknowledges him. The first thing i do is grab my laptop immediately and start typing so its fresh in my memory. 

He found out we call them ABT FACTS and once said ' This story is not an ABT FACT' which kind of made him admit he tells stories? It's not worth arguing. He one ups you all the time.

One time i said to him 'You love to argue, don't you?' His immediate reply was 'NO' to which i responded 'point proven' and everyone laughed...


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## oldskool954 (Apr 19, 2013)

We got a guy like this at my work as well. A buddy I went to school with told the Indian burial bs. But we have a fitter at my job that's been a stunt man, a personal security guard for high profile people, a pro snow boarder, 10 years as a pipe fitter in NY, in high school he saved 2 people's lives on 2 separate school trips once in a ski accident and once in a white water rapids accident, he came in 12th place out of 12,000 people in spartan race and told the owner of spartan race he was gonna beat him and the guy approached him scared, his dad and 4uncles are top level black belts so that meant he got trained directly by top masters in the art take down so he's considered a violent weapon by the government. Omg I could go on but the dudes like 30 5'5" 160lb


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## BigGameHunter (Apr 19, 2013)

This has the potential to be a fucking awesome thread.  

Get video or audio.  

Weve all known someone like this.  Your in the same room with them alot.  Post this shit Man.


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## RISE (Apr 19, 2013)

I had a friend that used to lie all the damn time.  He told me him and one of my other friends were drunk as fuck and snuck into his parents house (underage) to go to sleep.  Well one of the step brothers was sleeping on the couch and my boy pulled down his pants and bare ass farted in his face.  Except it wasn't a fart, the dude sharted on his face.  The stepbrother woke up and instantly started crying.  

This actually turned out to be fact.


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## Times Roman (Apr 19, 2013)

ABT must be related to "Vinny the Chin"


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## BigGameHunter (Apr 23, 2013)

Whats up with ABT?


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## Times Roman (Apr 23, 2013)

I"m sure he tellls "big dick" stories of himself?

....my crank is so big, I use it to swat flies on the far side of the room while seated on the sofa!


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## PillarofBalance (Apr 23, 2013)

Bump for Abt facts.


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## j2048b (May 15, 2013)

Bump for abt facts??


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## Georgia (May 15, 2013)

j2048b said:


> Bump for abt facts??



The author has been banned from the land


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## j2048b (May 15, 2013)

Georgia said:


> The author has been banned from the land



oh crap really? oh well, it was funny while it lasted!


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## DF (May 15, 2013)

OS was banned not Bench.


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## j2048b (May 15, 2013)

I was wonderin i dis not see bench's name on the ban list!

ABT FACTS BRING EM! Haha


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## I bench 135x5 (May 16, 2013)

ABT FACT TIME!!!

We were watching a commercial on tv where this guy was driving a large boat/yacht type thing. ABT comments, his dad used to do that for commercial companies and got paid. Apparently he was so good the MEXICAN DRUG CARTEL wanted to use him to transfer drugs. (wait for it)

Apparently his dad said he didn't want to and then got into a gunfight with the cartel using his M17. Oh and his dad won against them.

ABT FACT


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## j2048b (May 16, 2013)

HAHAHA YES HEEEEE'S BAAACK! Hahaha omg! Now thats one for the grandchildren!


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## BigGameHunter (May 16, 2013)

ABT aint nothin to fuck with. 

Dont cross ABT Sr either.  Thanks for the heads up.


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