# Joli's therapeutic phlebotomy



## Joliver

Where to put this?  Longevity and Anti-aging???  Or Injury recovery and prevention?  Well, the IR&P forum has a medical kit on it so that seems to be the best place.  

THIS IS WHAT I DO.  I DO NOT EXPECT ANYONE TO FOLLOW IN MY FOOTSTEPS FOR IT IS FILLED WITH DANGER WILL ROBINSON.  

Things i need:

1) boiling pot of water
2) 18g needle
3) 23g needle
4) sterile tube that i got out of a catheter kit.
5) Glass/strong plastic vodka bottle  (Belvedere--if you were wondering.  Polish vodka is the best.  The Pols have forgotten more about making vodka than the Russians ever knew.  Sorry BB. I guess I could have put this in the flame forum.
6) Rubber stopper that fits in the bottle tightly
7) Ice bath
8) Tape
9) Alcohol prep wipes

Steps in my procedure (written to myself--of course):

1)  Boil the bottle until it is hotter than hell.  
2)  Take the bottle out and immediately insert the rubber stopper.
3)  Let the bottle cool to create negative pressure inside.
4)  Remove the 18g needle and put the PLASTIC LOCKING END in the tube.
5)  Find your target vein.
6)  Take the 23g needle and insert the PLASTIC LOCKING END in the tube.
7)  Uncap the 23g needle and hit the vein. (oh yeah...swab the vein with alcohol first...I nearly forgot.  Dont want blood poisoning or herpes.)
8)  Tape the needle down.
9)  Uncap the 18g needle and push the business end through the rubber stopper of the ROOM TEMPERATURE BOTTLE.  
10) Place the bottle in an ice bath to create more negative pressure.  
11) Draw the amount of blood you believe to be killing you.  I generally take a quarter of a pint or so.  
12) Withdraw the 23g needle and apply pressure to the vein.  
13) Take the contents of the bottle and pour it all over your face and stagger into the next room and tell your spouse that you messed up and that you will love them always...
14) Take nose tork to wake up spouse.
15) Say just kidding.
16) Pinch the nose to stop secondary bleeding....you don't want to lose too much in one day.
17) Have a nice evening.  

I am not a bone head, so it takes about 5 minutes.  It took more at first, but when I became proficient, it is an afterthought.  The most time consuming part is boiling the bottle.  

Why is this process is necessary:  23g is small and the blood will slowly clot and you will get nothing without good suction.  I have done the gravity drain, but that required some serious grunting and push ups and such.  This is fast and efficient.  

Things I like to point out:  The only mandatory sterile components are the 23g needle, and the tube.  

Finally a personal thought:  This isnt for everyone.  I do this because I do not like giving in large quantities that make me weaker when lift.  I also do not like the same harpoon hitting the same two damn veins every few months.  If you don't want to do this, or think it's a stupid idea, move on.  I am not going to stop doing it.  I DO NOT THINK OTHERS SHOULD DO IT.  Don't say I am not a professional when a phlebotomist's education and training can be had online and that is so damn far from professional, its ridiculous.  My line is not your line.  I didn't want to post this, it is because of multiple requests that I did.


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## NbleSavage

Does someone lose a kidney and wake-up in the ice bath holding a note that says "Hi Kevlin!" during this procedure?


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## Joliver

NbleSavage said:


> Does someone lose a kidney and wake-up in the ice bath holding a note that says "Hi Kevlin!" during this procedure?



Every worthwhile medical procedure has "less than noble" roots.  Take Bill Frist as an example.  Talented heart and lung transplant and trauma doctor in Nashville at Vandy.  He has saved hundreds of lives including a Army general that would end up testifying before him while he sat as a United States senator for the great state of Tennessee.  Well, he learned his early craft by adopting cats and transplanting their heart and lungs into their own brothers and sisters.  He got caught after he adopted too many.  It was discovered he was killing them. All's well that ends well....i guess...


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## NbleSavage

I keed, Bro. Good on ya' for sharing your technique.


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## Joliver

NbleSavage said:


> I keed, Bro. Good on ya' for sharing your technique.



I know man!  I was just using it as an excuse to tell everyone how a senator used to be a rampaging murderous cat killer....lol!


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## RJ

So Joli you do this because if you give at a red Cross or some place like that and they take whatever amount that is it effects your strength? I'm confused just trying to grasp your why. Sounds pretty ****ing gnarley honestly. haha


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## Bro Bundy

the russians are the best !


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## Joliver

RJ said:


> So Joli you do this because if you give at a red Cross or some place like that and they take whatever amount that is it effects your strength? I'm confused just trying to grasp your why. Sounds pretty ****ing gnarley honestly. haha



The learning process is BRUTAL.  At least it looks that way.  But the RC will take a pint.  It hinders my training week.  Also, they like to use huge harpoons in the arms only.  That will scar the vein down.  I figured it best to do it myself.


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## Joliver

Brother Bundy said:


> the russians are the best !



They make a hell of a automobile....lol!


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## stonetag

Wow brother...that's all just wow. I tried thinking of something useful or relevant! lol


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## PillarofBalance

Bill Frist is Tilltheend?


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## Infantry87

Fuk dude, if you need some IV bags that bad, then hit me up hahahaha


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## RJ

joliver said:


> The learning process is BRUTAL.  At least it looks that way.  But the RC will take a pint.  It hinders my training week.  Also, they like to use huge harpoons in the arms only.  That will scar the vein down.  I figured it best to do it myself.



Weird. Guess I've never felt any different after giving blood. And when u say scar the vein down... How and why is that bad?

Sorry for all the Qs I just love weird shit like this.


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## Joliver

RJ said:


> Weird. Guess I've never felt any different after giving blood. And when u say scar the vein down... How and why is that bad?
> 
> Sorry for all the Qs I just love weird shit like this.



No problem!  Happy to answer the questions.  

The vein has connective tissue and smooth muscle that when cut will be replaced with scar tissue.  Over time, there could be occlusion of the vein, or because the vein has lost the elasticity of the smooth muscle, the vein will develop a bulb like protrusion due to the volume it must carry in the spot where they draw. 

A pint of blood doesn't make much of a difference, but when I am working at, or beyond 90%, I definitely notice a difference.


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## RJ

interesting for sure. thanks for the explanation. I will stick to the fat broads at Life South every 8 weeks. mlp


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## f.r.a.n.k.

Thanks for the post Joli!


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## PHOENIX

How did you learn to safely insert the needle to the vein for blood extraction?


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## #TheMatrix

PHOENIX said:


> How did you learn to safely insert the needle to the vein for blood extraction?



Same way he learned how to have sex.

Television


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## Joliver

Hitting a vein is pretty intuitive. Watch the Red Cross do it. Monkey see...monkey do.

I've also changed my technique to include a quart jar (mason--if you had to know) and reversed a hand pump to create negative pressure. It takes 3 minutes now, but I have to be careful not to collapse the vein with too much suction.


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## Megatron28

Joli: which veins do you like using?  I would prefer not to use the same ones the blood banks use if I ever had to do this.  I don't want them to think I am a junky and like you say, why build up scar tissue in the same veins they use.

The blood bank always puts a pressurized blood pressure cuff on my arm while I am donating.  It has slipped before and slowed down the rate my blood flows out.  Do you do this as well, or does the negative vacuum replace this need for this?  Of so, could you try the blood pressure cuff instead of the negative vacuum tequila bottle?


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## Joliver

Megatron28 said:


> Joli: which veins do you like using?  I would prefer not to use the same ones the blood banks use if I ever had to do this.  I don't want them to think I am a junky and like you say, why build up scar tissue in the same veins they use.
> 
> The blood bank always puts a pressurized blood pressure cuff on my arm while I am donating.  It has slipped before and slowed down the rate my blood flows out.  Do you do this as well, or does the negative vacuum replace this need for this?  Of so, could you try the blood pressure cuff instead of the negative vacuum tequila bottle?



I use different veins. Arms, forearms, thighs and calves. Keeps a good rotation.

I have used a tourniquet...sometimes I still do, but most of the time I'm in a rush because I look like I went into the bathroom with a heroin needle, cock pump, and a mason jar of moonshine. I don't do well with answering those kinds of questions.


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## HydroEJP88

When I get to Valhalla I hope I am as tough as you. 

This is the craziest shit I've ever read lol


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## PHOENIX

Any site you recommend for watching a "How To" video or research it more?


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## Joliver

PHOENIX said:


> Any site you recommend for watching a "How To" video or research it more?



I don't know of one using a vacuum. I've seen gravity drains using cuffs.


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## Jin

Anybody tried this? Gravity draining with a 16g only yields a half a pint for me before clotting up. 

You ever have issues with the catheter tubing and needle connection? Like losing the vacuum due to not having an airtight seal? Seeing as those parts aren't meant to go together....

A Google search of "therapeutic phlebotomy kit" yields this thread as the 7th hit. Way to go Jol!


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## ToolSteel

All you need is a mightyvac


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## Jin

ToolSteel said:


> All you need is a mightyvac



Ill need to clean the brake fluid out of mine first. Can't believe I didn't think of that.


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## ToolSteel

Jin said:


> Ill need to clean the brake fluid out of mine first. Can't believe I didn't think of that.


Just don't get too carried away and collapse the vein. You can get away with a 20-22 using good vacuum.


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## Dex

I haven't tried using suction. Would my penis pump work? I'll have to turn it down from the 500mmhg setting first.


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## Jin

Waiting for his next hit thread:

Jol’s therapeutic lobotomy.


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## Joliver

Jin said:


> Waiting for his next hit thread:
> 
> Jol’s therapeutic lobotomy.



Ignorance is bliss. Don't think it hasn't crossed my mind.


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## Boytoy

Has anyone tried the home kits that they sell online? the ones online are like 20 dollars and wonder if any are good


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## Jin

Boytoy said:


> Has anyone tried the home kits that they sell online? the ones online are like 20 dollars and wonder if any are good



Link please.


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## Boytoy

https://www.etsy.com/listing/779096...-ogRbY8oVyYZTvYyijmS2-k7pJ6N1QhhoCBmIQAvD_BwE


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## Jin

Boytoy said:


> https://www.etsy.com/listing/779096...-ogRbY8oVyYZTvYyijmS2-k7pJ6N1QhhoCBmIQAvD_BwE



This is a practice kit for taking blood samples for blood tests. Not larger amounts you’d need for a therapeutic phlebotomy. You COULD take 6 viles of blood but it would be cumbersome and I’m unsure what volume you could extract.


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## Boytoy

Ok thanks.  Do you know of a link for one that is good cause only one I found worthy would only be delivered to a medical facility


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## Boytoy

https://www.chinookmed.com/01370/field-blood-transfusion-kit-tmm-fbtk.html
  Think is good one here.


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## Boytoy

https://integratedmc.com/collection...oducts/forward-buddy-transfusion-training-kit.  
  Ok that's the one I got.  Only one could find that didn't need license for.


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## Jin

Boytoy said:


> https://www.chinookmed.com/01370/field-blood-transfusion-kit-tmm-fbtk.html
> Think is good one here.



Overkill + they won’t ship to non medical or non military.


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## Jin

Use Jol’s method or just drink a lot of water, take a couple aspirin and use an 18g and just let it bleed out into a pint glass. Works for me.


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## Boytoy

Well already ordered it now lol.


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## BigSwolePump

I just can't bring myself to doing this on my own.


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## German89

Jin said:


> Use Jol’s method or just drink a lot of water, take a couple aspirin and use an 18g and just let it bleed out into a pint glass. Works for me.



Don't forget the whiskey!!


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## DOOM

Why not just donate?


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## German89

DOOM said:


> Why not just donate?



Some times the blood gets thicker before you can dump again


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## DOOM

Thank you I am well aware? That’s why you stay on top of it! I donate at the hospital up the street from my house every 10 weeks. So five times a year regardless of what I am on.


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## Boytoy

DOOM said:


> Why not just donate?



 Got more important shit to do than wait in line and if you want it done right should do it yourself


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## Jin

DOOM said:


> Why not just donate?



Banned because of a past cancer diagnoses.


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## DOOM

Hahahah, You made me laugh!! Listen buddy they call me to come in every 10 weeks. No line and it take 15 minutes. This is a hospital not some ghetto ass mobile blood unit. 

Hopefully your bad attitude and laziness doesn’t lead to an infection or even worse stroke.


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## DOOM

My response was not directed towards anyone specific but directed towards everybody and anybody.


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## German89

DOOM said:


> My response was not directed towards anyone specific but directed towards everybody and anybody.



LMAO shut up doom!

I think, and from my past with my ex husband.  If you can't lower your BP, youre in the weeds..  Sometimes just doing it yourself is easier. 

I have zero issues with donating.  I just went like a month ago.  And will go again when I am due.  

Everyone has a different reason for doing it themselves and that's okay.  This isn't abnormal at all.  It is normal to do these things yourself in this lifestyle.


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## DOOM

No it’s not normal to do these things. You are making excuses. It is normal to do these things out of desperation when you don’t stay on top of it. Lol or if your just too busy!


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## ToolSteel

DOOM said:


> No it’s not normal to do these things. You are making excuses. It is normal to do these things out of desperation when you don’t stay on top of it. Lol or if your just too busy!


You’re a couple bricks short aren’t you bud. 
10 weeks is too long for me on blast. I donate and drain in between based on crit levels. And I absolutely “stay on top of it”


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## Boytoy

DOOM said:


> Hopefully your bad attitude and laziness doesn’t lead to an infection or even worse stroke.




I am self employed and not lazy at all.  Have a great attitude as well except when it comes to dumb ****s like yourself.  If you get an infection is because you were careless and didn't do it proper.   
    You don't have a clue about anything so Stfu


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## TODAY

DOOM said:


> No it’s not normal to do these things. You are making excuses. It is normal to do these things out of desperation when you don’t stay on top of it. Lol or if your just too busy!


You sure did pick a random and inconsequential hill to die on, bud.


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## Trump

I am not allowed to give blood due to working in Africa so what category am I in?? Lazy or too busy?? 



DOOM said:


> No it’s not normal to do these things. You are making excuses. It is normal to do these things out of desperation when you don’t stay on top of it. Lol or if your just too busy!


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## Boogieman

Doom, you should keep your opinions to yourself bud.


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## DOOM

No hospitals in Africa?


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## Trump

not in the jungle where I work no, next smart ass question please



DOOM said:


> No hospitals in Africa?


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## DOOM

Are you running cycles in the jungle in Africa?Bush phlebotomy.can be risky. Be safe!


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## Jin

DOOM said:


> Are you running cycles in the jungle in Africa?Bush phlebotomy.can be risky. Be safe!



Dont worry, the witch doctor cleanses his skin with a mud salve before they insert the sea urchin spine.


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## Trump

Yes I sure am, But no bush phlebotomy though I do that when I get home



DOOM said:


> Are you running cycles in the jungle in Africa?Bush phlebotomy.can be risky. Be safe!


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## Joliver

How the ****ing **** is this ****ing thread still a-****ing-live?


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## German89

Joliver said:


> How the ****ing **** is this ****ing thread still a-****ing-live?


Cause of you Jol.


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## Flyingdragon

Jol 4 Prez 2020


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## Jin

I vote we make this a series. Next up:

Jol’s Therapeutic Vasectomy.


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## DieYoungStrong

Jin said:


> I vote we make this a series. Next up:
> 
> Jol’s Therapeutic Vasectomy.



Gram of deca per week for 10 years straight


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