# Things I've Heard In The Gym - January



## dk8594 (Jan 31, 2018)

There have been a lot of new members at my gym working on their New Year's resolutions this month.   Here is a list of the gems I've heard that have caused me to roll my eyes (in no particular order).  Feel free to add to it.



“There are 30,000 calories in a pound of fat.”
“I do battle ropes because I want to be functional.”
“I’m trying to lose weight, so I’ll probably take a laxative tonight.”
“I just burned a thousand calories on the treadmill.”
“Can you take my picture? I’m going to do some curls”
“I’m not trying to get big.”
“Instead of dieting, I’m just going to go in the sauna”
“I do lunges and leg extensions for legs (i.e. nothing else)”
“I know he doesn’t look it, but my trainer has a degree in exercise science”
“I don’t have a routine.  I just listen to my body”


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## motown1002 (Jan 31, 2018)

I hear "my vagina hurts".  This is from my workout partner, when I am making him work.  haha


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## snake (Jan 31, 2018)

Good list right there dk!


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## snake (Jan 31, 2018)

This one was year back but I still remember it.

"With bicep curls, if you completely fatigue the bicep, the triceps will actually start to push"


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## dk8594 (Jan 31, 2018)

snake said:


> Good list right there dk!



The joys of a commercial gym!


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## JAXNY (Jan 31, 2018)

I refuse to take my phone into the gym, it's a pet peeve of mine to see people screwing around with their phones instead of training. Yet there are days I wish I had it so I could post up pictures of some of these fools just doing who knows what on a piece of equipment. Coming from NY to California It appears more so that these people out here always feel the need to try and reinvent the proper use and function of a machine. I always have to stop and stare for a moment while I visualise the injury they are about to endure. It's either a cringe or a laugh my ass off moment.


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## DF (Jan 31, 2018)

Ear buds..... problem solved


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## JAXNY (Jan 31, 2018)

DF said:


> Ear buds..... problem solved



What about the eyes, do I have to wear those dark glasses that blind people use?


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## JuiceTrain (Jan 31, 2018)

Hate people you meet in the gym, glad i was able to build my own...


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## John Ziegler (Jan 31, 2018)

#6 <--- for the win


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## BigGameHunter (Feb 1, 2018)

Tomorrow...Break up about 4 exxlax bars and put them in a dish right outside of the sauna. Report back with cliffs ASAP


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## JAXNY (Feb 1, 2018)

BigGameHunter said:


> Tomorrow...Break up about 4 exxlax bars and put them in a dish right outside of the sauna. Report back with cliffs ASAP



I'd bring my phone into the gym for this one...Lol.


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## PillarofBalance (Feb 1, 2018)

dk8594 said:


> There have been a lot of new members at my gym working on their New Year's resolutions this month.   Here is a list of the gems I've heard that have caused me to roll my eyes (in no particular order).  Feel free to add to it.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Get me their home addresses please.

Zeigler can you lend me a hand with this?


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## John Ziegler (Feb 1, 2018)

#9 reminds me of this big fat stinky doctor I had one time hair coming out of his ears & nose like crazy & the whole bit wtf


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## dk8594 (Feb 1, 2018)

I am usually a pretty easy going guy. The only one that almost pushed me over the edge was the guy who asked me to take his pic.  I didn't do a very good job hiding my disgust when I told him no.


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## PFM (Feb 1, 2018)

I get insane thumb pumps on the seated OHP.

Okay that me was after a cold yo pimp'n text bro.


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## Mr P (Feb 1, 2018)

meet me at the boy's room you light weight....


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## SHRUGS (Feb 2, 2018)

Damn if I heard half this shit at the gym I'd probably have to leave and join a different gym. Those are things I'd expect to hear at Golds or Planet Fitness or possibly even Snap or Anytime Fitness. Fuk those places are crawling with ghey fuks.
!S!


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## SHRUGS (Feb 2, 2018)

PFM said:


> I get insane thumb pumps on the seated OHP.
> 
> Okay that me was after a cold yo pimp'n text bro.



And holy hell u are one sexy fuk. Beautiful avi just down right beautiful.
!S!


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## BigJohnny (Feb 2, 2018)

Heard this one the other day, “ I only lift heavy once a month because I have all the size I need right now, I’m just trying to get shredded now with more reps and volume at lighter weights”. Same guy says he trains chest on Wednesday and shoulders on Thursday. Wtf! Damn young bodybuilders.


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## Chaos501 (Feb 3, 2018)

Thank God we don’t have that issue at our gym!!!


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## Gibsonator (Feb 3, 2018)

Chaos501 said:


> Thank God we don’t have that issue at our gym!!!



fukk you and your badass gym :32 (18):


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## Gibsonator (Feb 3, 2018)

i hear nothing most the time cause I'm blasting heavy metal full volune in my eardrums, wait whut? oh nevermind, anyways theres this one skinny mexican dude that comes in everytime in leggings, shorts, hoody, towel draped around neck, lifting belt, the whole 9 and this mutherfukker is so goddamn loud i can hear him. i just give him the stink eye. he's literally the only regular i dont talk to cause i hate his guts and he knows that shit. fag


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## dk8594 (Feb 16, 2018)

Things I've heard this month:

-"There have been complaints about the noises you make when you do legs"
-"Your gym bag poses a safety hazard"
-"I'd like to put in an order for pick-up" (Said by out of shape guy next to me doing cardio who then proceeded to order a #2 with an egg roll)

Time for a new gym.


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## Robdjents (Feb 16, 2018)

Managing a gym I hear stupid stuff all day.. it's only 930 and I've already heard a ton of nonsense today.


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## chicago311 (Feb 20, 2020)

JAXNY said:


> I refuse to take my phone into the gym, it's a pet peeve of mine to see people screwing around with their phones instead of training. Yet there are days I wish I had it so I could post up pictures of some of these fools just doing who knows what on a piece of equipment. Coming from NY to California It appears more so that these people out here always feel the need to try and reinvent the proper use and function of a machine. I always have to stop and stare for a moment while I visualise the injury they are about to endure. It's either a cringe or a laugh my ass off moment.


yelp JAXNY wow it's a problem no matter what gym you go to, i personally DONT GET IT why they think the gym is a place to talk on the phone and to take up a pice of equiptment while doing just that. geezzzzz


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## Texan69 (Feb 21, 2020)

snake said:


> This one was year back but I still remember it.
> 
> "With bicep curls, if you completely fatigue the bicep, the triceps will actually start to push"



I’ve heard that too before lol!


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## simplesteve (Feb 21, 2020)

Locked up everyone in prison is a personal trainer/ fitness guru, 

"Your body can only absorb 30grams of protein per day!"
 " You can't do push workouts with a pull workout or your going to cause an injury"


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## Gibsonator (Feb 21, 2020)

I heard a "personal trainer" "teaching" a client how to quarter squat and give him kudos each set, while I'm directly next to them showing how it's done correctly.
It is comical yet frustrating to watch this garbage. 
Yes I stay in my own lane and worry only about me but damn man in between sets I can't help to watch in disbelief that some poor guy is paying to learn how to exercise incorrectly.
it's a daily occurrence, never shocking but since we have this thread here lol...


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## dk8594 (Feb 23, 2020)

“I don’t know if I am going to do back or legs tonight”

How the Fuk do you go to the gym without a plan ?!


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## German89 (Feb 23, 2020)

dk8594 said:


> “I don’t know if I am going to do back or legs tonight”
> 
> How the Fuk do you go to the gym without a plan ?!



Simple.

Last week, I wasnt sure how I wanted to start my week... so, I asked my kid to pick, back or legs. He picked legs lmao


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## dk8594 (Feb 23, 2020)

German89 said:


> Simple.
> 
> Last week, I wasnt sure how I wanted to start my week... so, I asked my kid to pick, back or legs. He picked legs lmao



Lmao! Careful .Ask him two days in a row. You may may be walking like a pirate with two peg legs.


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## chicago311 (Feb 26, 2020)

Gibsonator said:


> I heard a "personal trainer" "teaching" a client how to quarter squat and give him kudos each set, while I'm directly next to them showing how it's done correctly.
> It is comical yet frustrating to watch this garbage.
> Yes I stay in my own lane and worry only about me but damn man in between sets I can't help to watch in disbelief that some poor guy is paying to learn how to exercise incorrectly.
> it's a daily occurrence, never shocking but since we have this thread here lol...


 take his money and train him right... lol  so he wont get hurt, but i also understand where your coming from, seen alot of that.


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## German89 (Feb 26, 2020)

dk8594 said:


> Lmao! Careful .Ask him two days in a row. You may may be walking like a pirate with two peg legs.


LMFAO... No... I don't think he'd say legs two days in a row... 

I will test him today and tomorrow


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