Crom
Senior Member
- Joined
- Apr 27, 2021
- Messages
- 435
- Reaction score
- 310
- Points
- 43
Hey everyone. Haven't posted in a few days - been feeling pretty shitty lately. I feel like I've been giving so much to this thing and not getting very much back. I've got these goals and ideas about the body I'm trying to achieve. I'm also trying to make sure I keep these ideas rooted in reality.
I don't have the best genetics but I do have a pretty good work ethic. I've trained with amateur physique competitors as well as competing powerlifters for months at a time. I've always been able to hold my own during the workouts, pushing my partners and myself. I feel as if my body does not respond to the weights like some peoples do.
I feel as if I am more torso dominant than limb dominant. Does that even make sense? My back, chest and obliques get thicker but my arms refuse to grow.
The past few weeks I've been thinking that my arms were getting smaller. I tried to tell my self that my chest, traps, shoulders and back were growing and making them appear to be smaller.
Well, last night I measured my arms. I lost a ****ing half inch. How is that even possible? Anyway, as you can imagine I lost my shit. Told myself screw it - I'm done. Could it be I'm a non responder? Could it be that working my arms makes them smaller? I've tried heavy weight 8 - 10 reps. I've tried light weight high reps. I've tried slow contracted reps. The only thing I haven't tried is blood flow restriction.
The other day I finally trained with the old Marine, Muck I wrote about. We did a Meadows style arm workout then talked for about a half our in the parking lot. He said he thinks he can help me out. I had a feeling it was a bit of interview - if you get me.
He thinks I would benefit from a Dbol, Decca, test cycle. He told me my cost and guarantees his source. He told me as long as I keep training, eating right and sticking to my TRT protocol I'll hold onto the tissue I gain.
I feel like I'm at a cross roads. I'm 45, I wanna get jacked, love to lift but I've got to be honest, my goals are purely selfish. I just wanna look good. How far do I wanna take this though? Is it worth running my BP through the roof at 45 and possibly killing myself? I know what DBOL and Decca could do. Last time I tried running sus, my BP went up to 180 over 90. (I'm not 100% convinced that was sus LOL)
I'm not content with just moving decent weight anymore. I want to look like someone who moves decent weight. I thought about trying to get a trainer. I asked one guy at the gym but he said I advanced too quickly, and there's nothing he can really teach me. He said I should learn to tweak my own programs.
I'm open to learning from anyone at anytime. Especially if it moves me closer to my goals. I stopped powerlifting because I kept getting hurt. I gotta be honest, I used the powerlifting as an excuse for how my body looks. I told myself I don't have to look good if I'm doing the powerlifting thing. Thick torso and legs and no arms, GREAT! I'm a ****ing T-rex that moves weight.
I hate dumping on you guys like this. I've got too many people around me that have accepted me as a bro, and act like I'm nuts when I ask for advice or help from them.
I ate like shit yesterday. I got pissed and ate brownies and carrot cake.
Please slap me around, cause I'm feeling like a lil bitch.
One thing I never told you guys. I hate having crutch and usually can't stand when people bring up health shit. I had Lyme that went undiagnosed for over 20 years. They thought I had cancer and every other damn thing. Eventually the Lyme got into my spine and brain, then my heart. I ended up with a stroke in my right cerebellum.
I was cleared , it was all Lyme related. However, I can't help but feel like my minor brain injury is effecting me in some one. I don't want to believe that it is.
I don't have the best genetics but I do have a pretty good work ethic. I've trained with amateur physique competitors as well as competing powerlifters for months at a time. I've always been able to hold my own during the workouts, pushing my partners and myself. I feel as if my body does not respond to the weights like some peoples do.
I feel as if I am more torso dominant than limb dominant. Does that even make sense? My back, chest and obliques get thicker but my arms refuse to grow.
The past few weeks I've been thinking that my arms were getting smaller. I tried to tell my self that my chest, traps, shoulders and back were growing and making them appear to be smaller.
Well, last night I measured my arms. I lost a ****ing half inch. How is that even possible? Anyway, as you can imagine I lost my shit. Told myself screw it - I'm done. Could it be I'm a non responder? Could it be that working my arms makes them smaller? I've tried heavy weight 8 - 10 reps. I've tried light weight high reps. I've tried slow contracted reps. The only thing I haven't tried is blood flow restriction.
The other day I finally trained with the old Marine, Muck I wrote about. We did a Meadows style arm workout then talked for about a half our in the parking lot. He said he thinks he can help me out. I had a feeling it was a bit of interview - if you get me.
He thinks I would benefit from a Dbol, Decca, test cycle. He told me my cost and guarantees his source. He told me as long as I keep training, eating right and sticking to my TRT protocol I'll hold onto the tissue I gain.
I feel like I'm at a cross roads. I'm 45, I wanna get jacked, love to lift but I've got to be honest, my goals are purely selfish. I just wanna look good. How far do I wanna take this though? Is it worth running my BP through the roof at 45 and possibly killing myself? I know what DBOL and Decca could do. Last time I tried running sus, my BP went up to 180 over 90. (I'm not 100% convinced that was sus LOL)
I'm not content with just moving decent weight anymore. I want to look like someone who moves decent weight. I thought about trying to get a trainer. I asked one guy at the gym but he said I advanced too quickly, and there's nothing he can really teach me. He said I should learn to tweak my own programs.
I'm open to learning from anyone at anytime. Especially if it moves me closer to my goals. I stopped powerlifting because I kept getting hurt. I gotta be honest, I used the powerlifting as an excuse for how my body looks. I told myself I don't have to look good if I'm doing the powerlifting thing. Thick torso and legs and no arms, GREAT! I'm a ****ing T-rex that moves weight.
I hate dumping on you guys like this. I've got too many people around me that have accepted me as a bro, and act like I'm nuts when I ask for advice or help from them.
I ate like shit yesterday. I got pissed and ate brownies and carrot cake.
Please slap me around, cause I'm feeling like a lil bitch.
One thing I never told you guys. I hate having crutch and usually can't stand when people bring up health shit. I had Lyme that went undiagnosed for over 20 years. They thought I had cancer and every other damn thing. Eventually the Lyme got into my spine and brain, then my heart. I ended up with a stroke in my right cerebellum.
I was cleared , it was all Lyme related. However, I can't help but feel like my minor brain injury is effecting me in some one. I don't want to believe that it is.