Female Delusion Calculator

Jenn_is_Jenning

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Ok breaking news: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, I know I say the same thing over and over again about dating apps.

"This is gross and I am never going on here again and everyone needs to hold me accountable"

Then I come back and say:
"Ok, I went on a dating app for a few days because I was being crushed by the weight of my own loneliness, but it was gross and I am never going on them again and everyone needs to hold me accountable."

RIGHT, SO
I went on one again because I needed to talk to someone and I figured I would just chat for a few days to get it out of my system, then I'd get a dick pic and I would go off and come here and tell everyone exactly that...

BUT (!!)
For the first time in the history of my dating app experience, I am excited about someone and I don't want to mess it up.
1. I think he's really out of my league. Blah, blah, insert something about needing confidence here
and
2. I always scare people I like away

Guy is ultra conservative.
ULTRA conservative <
Usually, if I match with conservatives they aren't really very conservative.
He's like old school mindset about things. And we agree on everything
And I *really like him.
He's also into working out a lot. It's like every box ticked, but with huge marker. YES! *tick. and YES! *tick

Anyway, he's so conservative he wants to leave Canada and move to a super conservative state.
He hates social media and wants a farm someday.
ANd is ok with my donkey suggestion.
I really like the idea of having a donkey because they become your best friend.

Ok, but he's really rich and way too good for me and I know I'll do or say something and he will disappear even though he says he DOES NOT ghost.

Now, I am hoping I can preemptively not screw it up and get the odd suggestion.
Except nobody here necessarily knows why I keep screwing it up aside from ANdrew telling me that Nicolas Cage is insufferable, lol.
 

PZT

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Just answer his questions truthfully, laugh at his jokes and when the time comes, do something sexually that he wont forget. Then, BOOM!!!!! You have a fkin amazingly life in Texas or Florida
 

Yano

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Just answer his questions truthfully, laugh at his jokes and when the time comes, do something sexually that he wont forget. Then, BOOM!!!!! You have a fkin amazingly life in Texas or Florida
If you can cook at all , this will help as well , two ways to a mans heart , through his pants or his stomach.

Were kind of simple.
 
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I'm fairly new here and don't know you at all, but I feel you need to be yourself, whatever self that may be. You seem real, as in not fake. Do not attempt to change for someone else. In my experience, this only leads to resentment.
 

Jenn_is_Jenning

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Just answer his questions truthfully, laugh at his jokes and when the time comes, do something sexually that he wont forget. Then, BOOM!!!!! You have a fkin amazingly life in Texas or Florida
Ok, but I don't think all the "bad girls bible" emails I get giving me BJ advice will actually lead to me being outstanding, lol
 

white ape

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I've been told I'm the biggest dick most people have ever met.

Add this to my near perfect reading comprehension, and I'm just shocked I'm not married. 🤷‍♂️

Not currently married you mean?
 
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I don't think all the "bad girls bible" emails I get giving me BJ advice will actually lead to me being outstanding
5 minutes of enthusiasm trumps an hour of disinterest.

The best blowjobs are the ones when the girl loves it too.

I think every guy on the planet wants a girl who can fit the whole thing in her throat and is eager to swallow.

Good luck :LOL:
 

Jenn_is_Jenning

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He will be whiling to let your practice. I promise!!
Ok, well don't jinx me, I am not there yet.
First he has to meet me

Then he has to be ok with me being really fucking awkward and not seductive in the slightest

Then he has to be not turned off by my lack of seduction

Then through the awkwardness it still has to lead to sexy time

Then at the beginning of sexy time I have to confess I don't know wtf I'm doing and then he has to agree to be a practice penis


This is a lot of steps
 

CJ

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Ok, well don't jinx me, I am not there yet.
First he has to meet me

Then he has to be ok with me being really fucking awkward and not seductive in the slightest

Then he has to be not turned off by my lack of seduction

Then through the awkwardness it still has to lead to sexy time

Then at the beginning of sexy time I have to confess I don't know wtf I'm doing and then he has to agree to be a practice penis


This is a lot of steps
You're so cute!!! 🤗
 

PZT

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Ok, well don't jinx me, I am not there yet.
First he has to meet me

Then he has to be ok with me being really fucking awkward and not seductive in the slightest

Then he has to be not turned off by my lack of seduction

Then through the awkwardness it still has to lead to sexy time

Then at the beginning of sexy time I have to confess I don't know wtf I'm doing and then he has to agree to be a practice penis


This is a lot of steps
Lead everything with “will you be my practice penis?”
 

Slabiathan

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I put my wife's stats in and it was .0144%
You could probably lower because it isn't taking into account how mid I am. 🤣🤣
I hit the jackpot and hoping the same for all of you.
 

bvs

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4.62% chance of finding the woman i want and im in the 0.026% of men.

Women are delusional haha
 

Diesel59

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If I lived in rural Idaho, my chances would drop to 0%.
 

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