Mediocre's New Journey

mediocre1645

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Did an hour of intermediate yoga yesterday, was good. It is really crazy what opiates can do to your brain...and equally as crazy is how we are built to heal. One of the mantras I've written down (a long list I've texted to myself but not yet really put down anywhere else) is something along the lines of "if you aren't dead, you can change/heal". Obviously withdrawals suck, but just the anxiety IN MY SKIN and these big flashes of anxiety I constantly had, both while heavy into use and eventually less so after I got clean...that is mostly gone. My shits still aren't quite right, my brain still isn't quite right, but there's so much light at the end of the tunnel right now. I still have some nighttime binge eating issues but honestly, if I"m working out like I have been, I think I can probably maintain my current bf level.

Another short rant about something that bothers me. My wife and I are great together. But it seems like when one of us is happy, the other is not. I worry a lot about this like it must be some kind of major underlying issue. Example: when I was in the pit post addiction withdrawal, she was mostly amazing. Then I had a few great days in a row and said to her as much...that day she decided to quit smoking weed and got extremely unhappy and irritable. I have stayed relatively happy (not something I could have done on the drink) and she has stayed relatively unhappy, pointing out things I'm not doing right and what not. I'm sure we all have a little of this in our relationship. I'm not going to say anything, just observe and be there for her. It is definitely something I will bring up at our next couples session though.

The heat won't be too terrible (and the heat is sooo much more bearable than when I was having WDs), maybe I should go for a run today....or maybe make the wife happy and bring the family kayaking...that ordeal will be suuuuure to fix her irritability (sarcasm...i can imagine her completely blowing a gasket getting three watercraft and two heathens in and out of a river, can't hurt to try!). Cheers boys
 
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Good for y'all doing couples therapy. My wife and I have done it off and on for like 10 years. It's amazing, really helps our relationship.

She likes all the kayaking, paddleboarding stuff too. So I try to do it with her when I can. We gave up on bringing the grouchy kids with us when we go.
 

mediocre1645

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It's so silly that such a low effort thing like going to talk to some person with your SO can make such a difference. It's not all it takes to keep a marriage whole, but it sure helps.

8-7-22: went out in the 100 degree weather and did 20 minutes HIIT. 50 yard hill sprints (walking back). My back had been hurting a bit, I think from doing daily yoga of all things, and those sprints were putting quite a bit of pressure on it. They also just sort of hurt my entire body lmao. I haven't done any high impact stuff in ages so going straight to sprints probably wasn't wise.
 

mediocre1645

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Sup with it yall. Let's see, Monday I benched...I think I did 8 reps and got up to 255, along with some pullups and a bunch of other small stuff. Tuesday I hiked. Wednesday I did this bodyweight lower body workout on YT and I am F-ing SORE.

Started cutting again at the beginning of this week. I have an international trip near beaches in late September and I'd like to be pretty slim for that, and in good shape for elk season after that. I'd like to get to ~8% bf by mid september and then just hold there but we'll see what happens.

Finally found a few meetings I like (zoom). I've got different but regular meetings set for a few days of the week. Sundays is the yoga one, Mondays is a secular one that I have decided to secretary, and Thursdays will be this relationships one if they continue to have it.
 

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Sounds like a lot of good things are happening and in your life. That anxiety is the worst and the transition is hard, but always stay the course, brother. It will all come in time and you’ll love it more. You’re doing great so far and I’m glad the therapy is helping your relationship. Love is always worth fighting for, good for you. Looks like you still have some pretty good strength in you, that’s great to build from.


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mediocre1645

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^ thanks man. We need more therapy than wer're getting, but every bit helps lol.

8-19-22: quick circuit with child weighted pushups, pullups, and maybe some hanging leg raises for abs.
8-20-22: ?
8-21-22: Gnarly hour long circuit
8-22-22: One hour hike and some stretching

Not sure what I'll do today, either bench/pullups/etc or a HIIT cardio. Depends on how blazing hot it is outside. On that Friday we went over to our neighbors house to swim for the first time (I live in a SMALL neighborhood if you can even call it that...a group of 10 houses on the south side of an agricultural "mountain"). They are mormons and have been asking us to come over for ages so we were a little worried they were going to "pitch" us. That didnt' happen, and we didnt' even get raped. They are like the nicest most normal ppl I know. They will be out of town for a while and I'm going to start swimming for cardio over there, looking forward to it.
 

mediocre1645

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Things are going pretty decent here. Still cutting on low dose test, low dose tren, and DNP (500 crystal, adding a pill or two of 100 mg powder once every couple days to get a little kick). If I can string together a few days of not binging before bed I can crack 10% bf and then ill probably call it quits on cutting and just seek to maintain until elk season and get in good shape on higher cals. Workouts have been great, albeit it has been taking a lot of dragging myself around to get workouts done. I really only lift for upper body, and have been doing HIIT lower body workouts (mostly watching this goddess: https://www.youtube.com/c/growingannanas).

8-15-22:
Bench Press: 4 x 8 x 205, 235, 255, 245
Pullups: 4 x 8 x bw
Ab Roller (on knees): 4 x 12-15
Finished with some grip holds

8-24-22:
Bench Press: 4 x 10 x 205, 235, 255 (8), 225 (8)
Pullups: 5 x 9, 9, 8, 8, 6 x bw (switching over/under each set)
Ab stuff, grip holds, and chest flys with band

8-29-22:
Bench Press: 5 x 3 x 255, 275, 300, 300, 300
Pullups: 5 x 5-6 x 30 lb backpack
Abs, curls, light shoulders, chest flys, back flys, and some other band work

9-1-22:
Close Grip BP: 4 x 8 x 225, 255, 255, 235 (6)
Rows: 5 x 8 x 165
FA Curls: 4 x 8 x 50's, Rev FA Curls: 4 x 8 x 50
Hammer Curls, light front raise, band pulls, and chest flys with band.

Have also been doing at least half hour of cardio per day, up to 1.25 hours on non lifting days (only that long for hikes that take that long, elliptical gets awful after 60 min tops)
 

mediocre1645

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Things going pretty decent. Finished my DNP run and proceeded to cheat hard for like 5 days lol. Gained a few lbs I'm sure. Been back cutting cals a bit this week and will probably continue for another week depending on how I feel. I need to get some really hard hikes in for elk season and I'll probably need some calories to get in enough.

9-5-22:
BP: 4 x 12 x 225 (9 on set 3, 7 on set 4)
Pullups (overhand): 4 x 12, 12, 10, 8.5 x bw
Front Raise to BTB Tri ext: 2 x 8 x 45 (for each raise I do two tri extensions)
EZ Bar Curls: 3 x 12 x 65
Back Flys: 3 x 8 x 35's
Chest Flys: 3 x 10 x 45's

9-13-22 (must have forgotten to write a few days down?):
BTB wrist curls: 5 x 8 x 95, 115, 135, 135, 135
Rev Wrist Curls: 4 x 10 x 55
Back Raise: 4 x 12-16 x bw
GHR Abs: 5 x 8 x bw

9-14-22:
OHP: 4 x 5 x 125, 145, 165, 185 (4)...not bad for not doing these in ages
DB BP: 3 x 10 x 60's, 75's, 90's (14 reps)...also have not done these in years, felt great
Pullups, legs up-ish: 5 x 10 x bw
Light tricep and back work

Fap material: looks like probably 11% or so to me. Thoughts?IMG_20220914_172927063.jpg
 

IronSoul

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Damn looking good brother! Tell me about your experience with the DNP. I have some and plan to use it soon but also scared to death of the shit.


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Following along. Glad you were able to dig your way out of addiction. Keep strong.
 

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Things going pretty decent. Finished my DNP run and proceeded to cheat hard for like 5 days lol. Gained a few lbs I'm sure. Been back cutting cals a bit this week and will probably continue for another week depending on how I feel. I need to get some really hard hikes in for elk season and I'll probably need some calories to get in enough.

9-5-22:
BP: 4 x 12 x 225 (9 on set 3, 7 on set 4)
Pullups (overhand): 4 x 12, 12, 10, 8.5 x bw
Front Raise to BTB Tri ext: 2 x 8 x 45 (for each raise I do two tri extensions)
EZ Bar Curls: 3 x 12 x 65
Back Flys: 3 x 8 x 35's
Chest Flys: 3 x 10 x 45's

9-13-22 (must have forgotten to write a few days down?):
BTB wrist curls: 5 x 8 x 95, 115, 135, 135, 135
Rev Wrist Curls: 4 x 10 x 55
Back Raise: 4 x 12-16 x bw
GHR Abs: 5 x 8 x bw

9-14-22:
OHP: 4 x 5 x 125, 145, 165, 185 (4)...not bad for not doing these in ages
DB BP: 3 x 10 x 60's, 75's, 90's (14 reps)...also have not done these in years, felt great
Pullups, legs up-ish: 5 x 10 x bw
Light tricep and back work

Fap material: looks like probably 11% or so to me. Thoughts?View attachment 28412
Shit. I'd be happy with that as one hell of a solid base! Looking good man.
 

mediocre1645

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Damn looking good brother! Tell me about your experience with the DNP. I have some and plan to use it soon but also scared to death of the shit.


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I don't know what to say about DNP. It has not been a part of any of my epic cuts. The couple times I've taken it, I've gotten something out of it, but i think my biggest issue is the cravings. I do think if I timed the DNP run better I could keep a stronger will, or there might be other ways to run it I haven't done yet (longer runs, lower dose for example). One good piece of advice I can give, is don't do DNP while coming off an opiate addiction. The sides for both have some overlap and it was a miserable couple weeks lol.

As far as safety...if you can get 200's and 100's, that is what i would do and what I did for my first run. Then you can really creep up on dose to get where you want to be without going too far (long half life and all that). I could run 600 but was starting to get some rashes (I think this was more of a heat and deodorant sensitivity thing since I only saw it on my armpit). I liked running 400 (500 crystal) and then I would take more for a few days and let off. I'd do this a few times during a 2 week cycle.

Thanks for the comments all, I wanted to be lower bf for a trip I have coming up in a week, might just go low cals this week.
 

mediocre1645

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9-19-22:
Bench: 4 x 6 x 255, 280, 300, 285 (5)
Pullups: 4 x 6 x 30 lb
Forearm Curls: 3 x 10 x 50's
Rev FA Curls: 3 x 10 x 60
Light DB curls, chest flys, and back flys

9-20-22:
45 min hike with 65 lb pack
1-Leg Squat: 3 x 10 x bw with help
1-Leg DL: 3 x 10 x 90
 

IronSoul

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9-19-22:
Bench: 4 x 6 x 255, 280, 300, 285 (5)
Pullups: 4 x 6 x 30 lb
Forearm Curls: 3 x 10 x 50's
Rev FA Curls: 3 x 10 x 60
Light DB curls, chest flys, and back flys

9-20-22:
45 min hike with 65 lb pack
1-Leg Squat: 3 x 10 x bw with help
1-Leg DL: 3 x 10 x 90

Damn good day man. Really solid pressing. All of those for 6 except the last set for 5 correct? Good shit man. Damn I bet that hike was exhausting, how was the terrain?


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mediocre1645

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It's not as strong as I used to be, but I'm pretty happy with my pressing strength. I think I can eek up to 4 plates if I stay consistent. Edit: yes all were for 6 reps except last set.

The hike wasn't too bad actually. I just did two laps partway up this "mountain" in my back yard. 120' up, 120' down, maybe 2.5 miles. I didn't realize my pack weighed that much until I got back. I use this old style pack (no frame) that makes you feel the full weight. My good pack with frame makes 50 lbs feel like 25. Not in the shape I want to be in but will be able to get around the mountains without killing myself.
 

IronSoul

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It's not as strong as I used to be, but I'm pretty happy with my pressing strength. I think I can eek up to 4 plates if I stay consistent. Edit: yes all were for 6 reps except last set.

The hike wasn't too bad actually. I just did two laps partway up this "mountain" in my back yard. 120' up, 120' down, maybe 2.5 miles. I didn't realize my pack weighed that much until I got back. I use this old style pack (no frame) that makes you feel the full weight. My good pack with frame makes 50 lbs feel like 25. Not in the shape I want to be in but will be able to get around the mountains without killing myself.

Hell yeah man, putting in the work. Those rucks are tough. I remember doing some with the 101st guys and they would pretty much run the whole 12 miles with pack and all. Rucking was never a strong point for my short tree trunk leg having ass lol.


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mediocre1645

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I was thinking about military folks and rucks the other day on that hike...I never understood how the hell you run with something that big on you. I don't think I have the rhythm or the joints for that lol
 

IronSoul

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I was thinking about military folks and rucks the other day on that hike...I never understood how the hell you run with something that big on you. I don't think I have the rhythm or the joints for that lol

Lol man it’s wild. There’s a reason a lot of us have knee, feet, and back issues. Especially airborne guys


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