- Joined
- Oct 19, 2021
- Messages
- 269
- Reaction score
- 184
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Hello and thank you for your reply. My brother is my reliable traning partner and without me asking he compliments my size and form and what I do in the gym. Same with my beloved mother and my sweet wife. I feel its not about that. I can talk to my wife and she will tell me the truth as she sees me everyday. The other day when she tried to calm me down (When I had my OCD issue) she said that since about a year ago I have significantly gotten larger and even more so since we first met. I believe here. The issue lies deeper than that.You need a good reliable training partner. Reason being are many, but the most important are consistency and trust.
The ups and downs you experience won't matter because your partner will be there waiting for you no matter how big or small you feel that day. This keeps you on track at least physically.
Your partner will become a person whose opinion your crazy mind will be able to trust. See, we can all reassure you that you are whatever size your pictures say but that will never matter because you don't and won't trust us (strangers.) Your partner on the other hand will see you everyday and when you feel down and small his or her opinion will actually reassure/calm you down.
Quick note, I did say her. An ideal partner in the gym does not have to be a guy.
Best of luck
Its more of an ego death kind of thing (but negative) I was just at my last hitpoint and my OCD took over. Today I woke up yet feeling helpless and thought to myself what the fuck. I went into the gym and even said to myself that a screwny little guy like myself cannot even be allowed to wear the lifting belt because I am not able.
It does not matter if I show you guys pictures or measurements or lifts; or anyone else, it all comes down to me. I think the best thing I can do for now is just keep going to the gym, but stop taking progress pictures (or at least not over analyze them) and not measure myself.
Then down the road when I am done with my cut I can think ok now its the time.
I feel like giving all up, and think my mind is somehow going to convince me that I will lose muscle mass so I will somehow train worse, eat worse or do something subconciously to actually make it come true.
I know it sounds crazy but this is the main of the illness, it just tells youo lies and lies.
I literally thought I had lost 4 pounds of muscle in 1 hour from tuseday and now from tuseday to now with not fully protein up (even though I got strict again the last two days) I definetely lost 25 pounds of muscle.
Its so fucking laughable but the fear and pain is real..