Mental Health

[SharkMaster]

You need a good reliable training partner. Reason being are many, but the most important are consistency and trust.

The ups and downs you experience won't matter because your partner will be there waiting for you no matter how big or small you feel that day. This keeps you on track at least physically.

Your partner will become a person whose opinion your crazy mind will be able to trust. See, we can all reassure you that you are whatever size your pictures say but that will never matter because you don't and won't trust us (strangers.) Your partner on the other hand will see you everyday and when you feel down and small his or her opinion will actually reassure/calm you down.

Quick note, I did say her. An ideal partner in the gym does not have to be a guy.

Best of luck

Hello and thank you for your reply. My brother is my reliable traning partner and without me asking he compliments my size and form and what I do in the gym. Same with my beloved mother and my sweet wife. I feel its not about that. I can talk to my wife and she will tell me the truth as she sees me everyday. The other day when she tried to calm me down (When I had my OCD issue) she said that since about a year ago I have significantly gotten larger and even more so since we first met. I believe here. The issue lies deeper than that.

Its more of an ego death kind of thing (but negative) I was just at my last hitpoint and my OCD took over. Today I woke up yet feeling helpless and thought to myself what the fuck. I went into the gym and even said to myself that a screwny little guy like myself cannot even be allowed to wear the lifting belt because I am not able.

It does not matter if I show you guys pictures or measurements or lifts; or anyone else, it all comes down to me. I think the best thing I can do for now is just keep going to the gym, but stop taking progress pictures (or at least not over analyze them) and not measure myself.

Then down the road when I am done with my cut I can think ok now its the time.

I feel like giving all up, and think my mind is somehow going to convince me that I will lose muscle mass so I will somehow train worse, eat worse or do something subconciously to actually make it come true.

I know it sounds crazy but this is the main of the illness, it just tells youo lies and lies.

I literally thought I had lost 4 pounds of muscle in 1 hour from tuseday and now from tuseday to now with not fully protein up (even though I got strict again the last two days) I definetely lost 25 pounds of muscle.

Its so fucking laughable but the fear and pain is real..

 

[MindlessWork]

Hello and thank you for your reply. My brother is my reliable traning partner and without me asking he compliments my size and form and what I do in the gym. Same with my beloved mother and my sweet wife. I feel its not about that. I can talk to my wife and she will tell me the truth as she sees me everyday. The other day when she tried to calm me down (When I had my OCD issue) she said that since about a year ago I have significantly gotten larger and even more so since we first met. I believe here. The issue lies deeper than that.

Its more of an ego death kind of thing (but negative) I was just at my last hitpoint and my OCD took over. Today I woke up yet feeling helpless and thought to myself what the fuck. I went into the gym and even said to myself that a screwny little guy like myself cannot even be allowed to wear the lifting belt because I am not able.

It does not matter if I show you guys pictures or measurements or lifts; or anyone else, it all comes down to me. I think the best thing I can do for now is just keep going to the gym, but stop taking progress pictures (or at least not over analyze them) and not measure myself.

Then down the road when I am done with my cut I can think ok now its the time.

I feel like giving all up, and think my mind is somehow going to convince me that I will lose muscle mass so I will somehow train worse, eat worse or do something subconciously to actually make it come true.

I know it sounds crazy but this is the main of the illness, it just tells youo lies and lies.

I literally thought I had lost 4 pounds of muscle in 1 hour from tuseday and now from tuseday to now with not fully protein up (even though I got strict again the last two days) I definetely lost 25 pounds of muscle.

Its so fucking laughable but the fear and pain is real..

I can feel your pain and I'd never wish my own mind ever going in that dark place. I have fought my own demons since I was a young man and it's taken a toll on me that I had a breakdown at age 25 till I discovered the gym. The gym should be a place of solace and strength and mind over matter.

Hang tough brother!

 

[silentlemon1011]

Hello and thank you for your reply. My brother is my reliable traning partner and without me asking he compliments my size and form and what I do in the gym. Same with my beloved mother and my sweet wife. I feel its not about that. I can talk to my wife and she will tell me the truth as she sees me everyday. The other day when she tried to calm me down (When I had my OCD issue) she said that since about a year ago I have significantly gotten larger and even more so since we first met. I believe here. The issue lies deeper than that.

Its more of an ego death kind of thing (but negative) I was just at my last hitpoint and my OCD took over. Today I woke up yet feeling helpless and thought to myself what the fuck. I went into the gym and even said to myself that a screwny little guy like myself cannot even be allowed to wear the lifting belt because I am not able.

It does not matter if I show you guys pictures or measurements or lifts; or anyone else, it all comes down to me. I think the best thing I can do for now is just keep going to the gym, but stop taking progress pictures (or at least not over analyze them) and not measure myself.

Then down the road when I am done with my cut I can think ok now its the time.

I feel like giving all up, and think my mind is somehow going to convince me that I will lose muscle mass so I will somehow train worse, eat worse or do something subconciously to actually make it come true.

I know it sounds crazy but this is the main of the illness, it just tells youo lies and lies.

I literally thought I had lost 4 pounds of muscle in 1 hour from tuseday and now from tuseday to now with not fully protein up (even though I got strict again the last two days) I definetely lost 25 pounds of muscle.

Its so fucking laughable but the fear and pain is real..

Yeah hombre
Shit is real
Doesnt matter how much you fully understand that your thoughts are total nonsense.
You logically understand its completely false on all levels.

But its still legit and gets you.. even knowing it's your head.

It's weird because you would think KNOWING beyond a doubt that your mind is playing a trick on you would hell... it just doesnt lol.

I definitly dont have the answers, but hit me up to chat anytime

 

[MrRogers]

Not trying to sound dramatic but we have some warriors in here. I'm a psychologist and specialize in treating severe anxiety and B personality disorders. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to handle the suffering that my patients do in all honesty. I assume when our tank is empty we can survive on our will to self preserve but I don't know how people exist in the face of certain suffering.

 

[Adzg]

Hello everyone.
Anyone got some mental health issues in here? I was wondering if someone can relate (as a natural or using) to the fact of feeling small even though you're not? Do you catch yourself looking in the mirror and hating it? Does the picture not do justice to another picture you took and now you think you're smaller? Or do you perhaps not feel shredded enough?

I just wanted to start off a thread were we could perhaps share some mental challenges we might have so I'll go first.

I have OCD and some other undiagnosed stuff. And recently I've been beating myself up for it. I've felt kind of crappy and things have been hard.

I was able to PR quite a lot on my OHP on Monday so after a long time of workout and before continuing my cut I decided to give myself three long nice days off with some snacks and relax.

On Tuesday I was talking to my wife and we got into the talk about bodyfat percent etc. My wife don't workout but she's interested and she is in ketosis so shes loosing weight. She was showing me a chart about bodyfat and I engaged in her conversation.

After a while we were done talking about it and all was quiet. Now I was quite happy about myself recently and kind of had my guard down (With my OCD my radar is often going off for no reason) so I was taken off guard when my wife says "I wish I could give you my bone structure and my mentality of always feeling bigger than u am so you would feel larger'

Funny thing is my wife is not that wide she just has wide hips and shoulders. So I guess she meant just the shoulders (hopefully haha) But she's just wider for a girl. And she thought she wished she could transfer that over to me in a sense that her skeleton would be much bigger if given to a boy. And I'm not even narrow boned in quite above avaregae and I'm happy with building on top of that. but I complain sometimes about my width because it's never enough.

It was just funny timing and It stuck with me.

Bless her soul... But my OCD span out and I somehow turned it around and actually got hurt and I've been obsessing about it since that day and I feel smaller.

Does anyone have tips to let shit like this go? I know we can all struggle but does anyone have OCD in here?

The number one thing is not asking for reassurance but it's so fucking hard when all you want to do is check. So I measured myself like a sissy and low and behold I was a little larger in some parts but the size of my back was the same as it was about a month ago unflexed and not carved up. But flexed it was actually bigger. So nothing fucking makes sense and I decided to just not give a crap again and just workout and never measure myself again. Even taking photos don't work because I cannot compare it to other pictures due to the fact that lighting may be different or I was more swole due to carbs or pumped up.

I didn't give my wife any crap about it outside of the normal sharing what I felt.

Idk I think the main thing here is I'm fucking tired of my illness and I can't wait to start a round of therapy soon

Anyone dare to share their issues?

I'd like to add at the end that OCD is like the devil on the right shoulder but 8 times worse. I literally feel like everything is ruined because I ate a little crappy for three days and I will never get back my back muscles or whatever was "lost" during those 3 days due to my overhtibking and stress. It's pretty fucked up that I know of irrational it all is but it still feels so very real. So while I don't look forward to feel like shit in the gym tomorrow I'll still go in there and do what I have planned doing.

Peace brothers and sisters

I have gone from XS clothes to large and I still feel tiny. For me I just think about the overal goal. I’m just in the process of getting there at the moment so I can’t judge myself too harshly yet. As long as you know what to do it you hit a plateau I’m sure you will be fine.

As one of my favourite coaches says to do.
Look up to a full moon and repeat

“Progressive overload will set you free”


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[SharkMaster]

Thank you guys for all the replies. I have decided to take a break from measuring my body with pictures and by inches.

I will just focus on doing the workouts and eating; the rest will come by itself - even if my mind is convinced I need to do active thinking about my body to gain or get anywhere

(Which is half true because I cannot quit working out but stressing 2 hours with photos and measuring etc everyday wont get me anywhere)

So... keep trusting the process. What got me here was heavy lifting, right lifting and eating correctly on my good bulk; NOT thinking about things and things feeling correctly in my head. No matter how much it really actually fucking feels like it lol. Now it is time to cut. I will use my knowledge and ask questions that are on topic. I will not succumb to this piece of shit illness.

Maybe this is a masterplot by my brain. Tell myself I will work like shit and i will lose all my muscles and shit will go bad onward (just because of that one incident) That I will in return workout harder and smarter and eat even better just to SPITE my thoughts... and then I end up even better than I wouldve been.

Idk but I am going strong and doing my best.

Love and stuff to you all

 

[Bro Bundy]

Im
Pretty fucked up

 

[weightlossburn]

A similar topic was started in another forum. One guy mentioned that he couldn't get relief through anti depressants. He managed to find his help through a product on a nootropic site.

 

[MindlessWork]

A similar topic was started in another forum. One guy mentioned that he couldn't get relief through anti depressants. He managed to find his help through a product on a nootropic site.

Anti-D's made me into a zombie but weed helped keep the demons at bay and that sounds good that other dude found help with something similar. Been taking CBD gummies for a while now and they help keep my moods up.

 

[weightlossburn]

Anti-D's made me into a zombie but weed helped keep the demons at bay and that sounds good that other dude found help with something similar. Been taking CBD gummies for a while now and they help keep my moods up.

That's good! I'm glad it's helping. I used to be a big fan of the high dose THC punch bar.

 

[MindlessWork]

That's good! I'm glad it's helping. I used to be a big fan of the high dose THC punch bar.

I am gonna try the Delta 8 (and 9) that someone on another forum mentioned about, but that THC bar sounds interesting but I worry about that showing up on a bloodtest as I get tested now and then as I work in a hospital.

Been fighting depression since I was a young man in high school...

 

[SharkMaster]

A similar topic was started in another forum. One guy mentioned that he couldn't get relief through anti depressants. He managed to find his help through a product on a nootropic site.

Yeah idk about those other than they make me feel more comfortable over all. I got some ashwaganda coming in the mail those might be making things better.

 

[silentlemon1011]

I am gonna try the Delta 8 (and 9) that someone on another forum mentioned about, but that THC bar sounds interesting but I worry about that showing up on a bloodtest as I get tested now and then as I work in a hospital.

Been fighting depression since I was a young man in high school...

Depression is a bitch.

What worked for me actually sounds counterintuitive (Its obviously different for each person)

But I just fill my schedule so fucking tight and full that I dont have time for depression.
I've taken 4 days off in 2.5 years.
If I'm moving and have problems to solve, I dont turn into a puddle on the couch.

Mainly I use other peoples dependance on me, so I just cant stop to feel depression or I'll be letting everyone around me down and hurting their lives.

It works
But I'm fucking tired lol

 

[weightlossburn]

I am gonna try the Delta 8 (and 9) that someone on another forum mentioned about, but that THC bar sounds interesting but I worry about that showing up on a bloodtest as I get tested now and then as I work in a hospital.

Been fighting depression since I was a young man in high school...

You don't live in a weed friendly state? Some states, I don't think they can even test for weed anymore.

 

[Trendkill]

Depression is a bitch.

What worked for me actually sounds counterintuitive (Its obviously different for each person)

But I just fill my schedule so fucking tight and full that I dont have time for depression.
I've taken 4 days off in 2.5 years.
If I'm moving and have problems to solve, I dont turn into a puddle on the couch.

Mainly I use other peoples dependance on me, so I just cant stop to feel depression or I'll be letting everyone around me down and hurting their lives.

It works
But I'm fucking tired lol

A lot of people with OCD use this as a coping mechanism as well. I always like to have a couple projects going around the house in addition to my own training and training my boys and their friends. Keep the mind occupied with constructive problems to solve, planning to do, goals to accomplish. It is tremendously helpful.

Now, I don't know about 2.5 days off in 4 years but I get it.

Take that vacation man. Just fill it up with fun stuff to do!

 

[Trendkill]

There is some exciting research being done with psychedlics in the field of mental health. Psylocibin and Ketamine in particular. It will probably take years and a lot of political maneuvering before anything is approved but there is a lot of promise in these compounds. There is also a lot of bro science out there around these drugs but some of it has merit as well. DO NOT mix these compounds with an SSRI unless your doctor is fully aware. Even then they might not be aware of the positive and negative interactions (not a doc myself)

Deep Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (DTMS) is showing a lot of promise for OCD and depression as well. It is non-invasive but requires several dozen weekly treatments. The effects last for up to 6 months but that is a lot of weekly treatments for something not permanent. My psychiatrist was pushing me to do this but I haven't made the commitment yet because I have been doing really well with the luvox and therapy combo.

In regards to SSRI making you feel like a zombie I've found that to be a very short term side effect. The first week I was on Lexapro I felt like a zombie. It went away permanently after that. I've since switched to Luvox and feel even better on that drug. I would love to be off of these entirely someday but until there are better options this is the best thing for me along with therapy.

 

[SharkMaster]

A little update on my side. I had a tough week and in general felt shitty but I stuck with my plan to workout. I somehow ended up working out harder and being even stricter with my diet and somehow my muscles pop out even more this week. So I guess something good came out of that fucking OCD issue.

 

[silentlemon1011]

A little update on my side. I had a tough week and in general felt shitty but I stuck with my plan to workout. I somehow ended up working out harder and being even stricter with my diet and somehow my muscles pop out even more this week. So I guess something good came out of that fucking OCD issue.

It actually always does when you beat it brother.

Like I said, the public world is a bit of a joke when it comes to challenging ges when you can put your own mind against the ropes and lay a beating.

Goos to hear